Crossfire
by Amazanda
Summary: Slash: Hotch/Reid: The beginning has to start from somewhere. When Hotch looked at Reid, his eyes were opened to the truth around him. Watch as these two agents make it through the first season.
1. Secrets

Title: Crossfire

Rating: T-M

Author: Amazanda

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Hotch/Reid

Summary: Short chapters on the growing relationship between Hotch and Reid, from the stares, to the slow burning feeling, and then the obsession that questions Hotch about everything he has and how love can be different for everyone.

Warnings: Slash: Male/Male Relationships, Spoilers here and there, Strong to Mild Sexual Content, Language, Strong Violence, Drama, a little bit of angst, and other such things.

_**Secrets**_

_I need Another Story_

_Something to get off my chest_

_My life gets kinda of boring_

_Need something that I can confess- Secrets, One Republic_

Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner supposed it all started sometime after he joined the BAU. His thoughts began to change, his outward look on life was slowly being altered and for once, he knew why. His job was consuming and addictive, his agents meant a lot to him and being able to put away the most disgusting and vicious men and women was like an adrenaline rush.

He was happy, he loved Haley, and he loved their unborn son even more. Hugging her had always been easy, he cared for her deeply. He really did, hell, she was having his son. He should be the happiest man alive. But when he stared into her eyes and caressed her cheek the burn seemed dull and he didn't know why. He hadn't noticed it before, because he'd never felt more than the diluted ember that came whenever he looked at his wife.

He sat beside her as they went on about names, he held her like a good husband and listened as attentively as he possibly could, shaking his head or nodding when the names came out one by one. He was rather curious as to why the change was occurring and he refused to believe that he was falling out of love.

Hotch didn't believe that for one single second, he couldn't. Not now, and not when their lives were changing. He would not be a bastard of a man, no. His happiness was third, his son's being first and Haley's being second.

But it didn't stop the thoughts swirling around in his head, wondering if he had chosen the right life for himself. Whenever he was at work, the burn inside of him would flare, and when he got a call to go in. He inwardly leapt for joy as Haley gave him a disgruntled look.

"I better go." It had taken Hotch a lot not to run as the adrenaline surged through him.

And now here he was sitting in Washington, listening to Derek Morgan trying to verbally figure the Unsub out, but he already knew what Morgan was saying, he'd read the file as much as anyone, well, anyone except for Spencer Reid who only needed to read it once and memorize the entire contents.

As of right now, Reid was spinning around in a chair and he looked so adorable doing it as well. Often times, he could be seen talking so fast about something that caught his attention and then other times he would sit quietly and observe, waiting and watching. He would piece together the puzzles around them and he could not have been more proud of him.

Hotch could see a flare of excitement every time he looked over at Gideon, the young doctor idolized Jason Gideon from the very beginning and Hotch had to agree that Gideon was definitely a good choice in that department.

He enjoyed Reid's company more than he liked to admit and it was one of the highest points during his day at the BAU. Reid brought out something inside of him, something that demanded that he protect the strong-willed boy. Perhaps it was his face? He didn't even look old enough to be out of High School. He had a baby-face and he often charmed the elderly ladies because he was so innocent looking. He was also naïve and Hotch envied that greatly.

Reid had a very complicated little mind and he could imagine if he were to slip inside of the young man's head that he would find a rather busy little person.

It was these small moments when Hotch realized that he was more aware of Reid than he should be and the strong burn for his profession seemed to grow a little hotter. True, he was Hotch's youngest agent and he felt a need to protect him more than the others, but he knew that deep down, he was feeling something small and warm. It buzzed underneath the surface of his skin leaving tremors.

That well known burn that seemed very little at home.

Reid looked over and he blushed a little when he caught Hotch watching him. Briefly, Hotch smiled and Reid's shoulders relaxed as he paused in his spinning and clasped his hands together, like some innocent child playing nice.

Hotch's thoughts were about to take a significant turn when Gideon interrupted Morgan and insisted that he was ready for the profile.

At first, Hotch wasn't sure about that but he saw out of the corner of his eye that Reid had brightened, trusting Gideon completely and Hotch felt another twinge of envy. He wanted that trust from Reid.

But for now, he had a case to worry about and he had to evaluate Gideon, as if the older man didn't know he was going to evaluate him. He knew, he expected it from the Director of course. Hotch's personal feelings could not come into play with this and that also meant his personal feelings for his youngest agent.

It was a couple hours later when Hotch found himself walking through the police department and he saw Reid standing there so solemnly at the fax machine, and the burn in his chest seemed to spring to life and a tiny flicker of embers danced around his heart. He mentally brushed those off, chalking it up to how proud he was of Reid.

"Did you get an address on Linder?" Hotch asked walking by the coffee and sugar addict. He was so cute the way he would chew on his lip when something was on his mind or it was troubling him. He winced inwardly, his thoughts were not helping any.

Haley was his wife. Haley was his life. He had to keep repeating this but whenever Reid was in the room, everything else seemed almost pointless.

"It's coming right now," Reid said looking up and their eyes met briefly.

Hotch had to pass him by to keep from stopping and pulling a stray piece of brown hair out of the young man's eyes. But he did stop when Reid began to talk.

"Does the Senior Management want a field assessment on Gideon?" Reid looked truly worried and of course he would have noticed. They were all profilers, it was their job to notice.

Hotch retraced his steps until he was standing in front of Reid. His gaze had softened completely. "Don't worry about it."

"Are they nervous about him being in charge?"

Hotch couldn't say anything no matter how much he wanted too. "Aren't you supposed to be helping Morgan?" And he chuckled when Reid asked why Gideon always introduced him as Dr. Reid.

Hotch couldn't help but smile, he was so young, and filled with so much curiosity. Gently, he touched Reid on the shoulders. "He does that because he knows that a lot of people look down on you because of your age. They think of you as a kid, and you're not."

Reid continued to chew on his lip, his cheeks becoming flushed. "Sir? Sorry, I know I ask a lot of questions, it's just…" the panic flashed through Reid's eyes and Hotch couldn't help but calm him down.

"I know, Reid," Hotch whispered. "I want him back too and I promise you, I will not stand in the way of that. Gideon is way too good to have me criticizing his work ethics, but don't tell anyone I said that."

"O.. Of course!" Reid's whole expression lit up and Hotch smirked.

"Address?" He had to quickly change the subject before the moment grew, his heart was beating a little faster than it should and when Reid pulled it out he sighed.

"Don't think it matters anymore."

That night when it was finished and all was said and done, they all boarded the jet in hopes of getting home before dawn. Everyone was exhausted, twenty-eight hours without any sleep at all. He was sitting across from Gideon but he couldn't help but look beyond the older man to where Reid rested, he was lying down on the extended seat and he looked so cute as he shifted and his brown hair flopped. He got up briefly, ignoring Gideon's grin and he pulled the cover further over Reid's body.

There was a sniff and Hotch smiled and went back to his place.

"You care a lot for that boy or rather young man."

"How can I not? He's so young, when I was his age I was just out of law school. I hadn't even seen a dead body."

"Yeah it's all different for the both of us. Have you and Haley picked a name for the baby yet?"

Hotch looked down into his cup of coffee. His unborn son always made him feel warm and fuzzy. "It's funny, Haley liked the name Charles, but I kept thinking, Charles Manson, and then Jeffery-"

"Dahmer."

"Yeah, there's just too many of them."

"How did your report go?" Gideon asked changing the subject abruptly. Hotch chuckled and Gideon shook his head. "Didn't think you could hide that from an old profiler did you?"

"You belong here. It wouldn't be the same without you Gideon. You really saved that girl today, and that's good."

Gideon smiled. "Yeah, it is a good thing."

Hotch patted him on the shoulder and he calmly went over to sit where Reid was resting. An invisible hook had been latched onto him and it was pulling him into the young man's direction. It was like someone somewhere was the fisherman, Reid was the bait, and he was the fish that became hooked.

He couldn't stay away any longer. When he sat, he continued to drink his coffee and watched into the night, his swaying thoughts continuing to circle around him, and he was almost sad when they landed and his time of silent contemplating was over.

As Morgan stood and stretched he snorted at the sleeping prone figure of Reid, but before Morgan shake the youngest agent awake, Hotch was already moving.

"Good luck, he sleeps like the dead," Morgan remarked.

Hotch hid his smile as he turned his back to Morgan. So he did, gently he shook Reid's shoulder. "Reid."

Morgan laughed out loud. "It's going to take more than that, Hotch." When Morgan left for the bathroom followed by Gideon, Hotch crouched down in front of the seat and brushed his fingers across the loose fringe aside.

"Reid!" Hotch took advantage of the situation by patting him on the cheek causing the young man to huff in his sleep and he tried to bury himself deeper. Hotch chuckled lowly and it was this that woke the genius right up.

Big brown eyes blinked at him. "Hotch?" His cheeks dusted red and Hotch withdrew his hand and smirked.

"We're landing."

"Thanks."

Hotch flashed him one of his rare smiles and Spencer stilled completely, his eyes open and watching. "You need a ride home? I know your car is broke down."

Spencer withdrew a hand from under the blanket and rubbed his eyes. "It's okay. I know you want to get home."

"It can wait. Come on, I'm not taking no for an answer."

Spencer bit down on his lower lip attractively and Hotch had to avert his gaze before Morgan and Gideon caught on. He stood up and winced as his knees popped, reminding him of his own age, and he rubbed them unconsciously.

The small burn in his chest almost exploded when long slim fingers curled around his wrist. He looked back down at Spencer who reminded him of an innocent angel.

"Thanks, Hotch."

"_Anytime,_" he said before he could stop the words from flying out of his mouth.


	2. A Beautiful Lie

_**A Beautiful Lie**_

_It's a beautiful lie_

_It's the peaceful denial_

_Such a beautiful lie to believe in_

_So beautiful, beautiful it makes me – _

_30 Seconds to Mars_

The first time Spencer Reid came into the BAU, he knew then and there that he would have to keep his secrets buried. These people were absolutely amazing when it came to their profession, not that he expected any different. But he knew that if he didn't hide his secrets they would all come out and everyone would play with them.

He liked everyone in the office strangely enough, they were friendly and easy to get along with. Gideon was like a falling star for Spencer, the man had taught him so much in so little time. He was fascinating, and he quickly attached himself to the older man wanting to learn even more. If anyone in the BAU fueled his intelligence it was Jason Gideon.

On a personal level, Gideon was kind of like the father that he never had and that meant a lot to him. Then there was Derek Morgan, at first, Spencer was very wary of the man. Growing up in a Las Vegas Public High School when you hadn't even hit puberty yet had taught Spencer a lot about people and how cruel and vicious they could be.

But Morgan surprised him, he was openly friendly and he reached out to Spencer wanting to get to know him and their relationship had grown and Morgan became an annoying big brother, always hounding him about getting a girlfriend.

Spencer took all of this in stride, allowing the teases and brushing them off. He did this because he did not want to tell anyone the truth about his sexual preference. He knew after so long in the bureau that they weren't homophobic and they would completely accept him for who he was but Spencer needed to keep his secret.

JJ was by far the friendliest. She greeted him warmly with open arms and often baked him cookies once a month. She had taken to Spencer and now everyone thought that he had a crush on her. She was beautiful, no doubt about that but JJ wasn't exactly his type.

Elle was different. Spencer liked her as a co-worker but he wasn't sure if he would consider her a friend. She was cold outwardly and inwardly but that didn't make her any less of a Profiler. She was good and for that reason, Gideon had hired her on. But Spencer had the strange feeling that when something very damaging happened to Elle, she wouldn't be able to take it and she would flee.

Penelope Garcia, Spencer would never forget when he met her. She was loud and bold and inside of a bureau of blacks, grays, and whites, Garcia was all color in personality and clothes. She was just like Morgan, always trying to fix him up, but there was a difference. Garcia saw right through him and she was not a profiler.

She always hinted around when they were alone that she knew a guy who would be interested and Spencer had to do everything in his power to stop that conversation before anyone overheard or got any ideas.

But the reason for keeping his well kept secret was when he entered the BAU for the first time and presented his file to _him_.

_Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner. _

It was like an explosion of chemicals, because his mind, heart, and soul had become engulfed in flames. He was tall, dark, and extremely handsome. He was stern and rough, he was stoic and rigid, but above all of that Hotch was passionate.

It was then and there that Spencer knew he had to keep his secret and live a lie. He had no choice, because looking at Hotch caused his heart to race and his hands to get sweaty. It was so embarrassing, he remembered how he would go off on a tangent of rambling simply to cover up his inward panic whenever Hotch threw a concerned glance his way or attempted to show him new things that Gideon hadn't.

His first week in the office, he had been very close to resigning early. He could hardly handle the pressure of being in the same vicinity as Hotch and they had been paired up quite a bit for learning purposes. Every time Hotch praised him his heart sung and whenever he gently corrected him, Spencer's hands would shake. Any attention from Hotch no matter what it was had been panic inducing.

But at the end of his first week when Hotch had come up to him as he was flittering around his desk and placed his hand on Spencer's shoulder and said in the calmest voice. "I need you on the team." Spencer knew that he was doomed to live a life of solitude, because no matter what Spencer did, he could not get his boss out of his head.

It was wrong on so many levels, but the heart didn't seem to give a damn about what was right or what was wrong. It knew nothing of human behavior, all it knew was what it wanted and Spencer was way too low in confidence to even go there.

For one, Hotch was his boss, and two, which was a really big reason, the man was married to a beautiful kind woman, and three, who in their right minds would want Spencer Reid when they could have someone else? Anyone else.

Spencer's change of preference had begun even before puberty, all the girls who liked to tease him and try to lead him on changed his feelings and potential attraction toward them all. They had psychologically ripped through his adolescent years until it was rearranged and by the age of sixteen, girls would no longer be of interest to him.

Perhaps if he had known a girl like JJ when he was in High School, life would be different. He didn't know, but what he did know was that the chemical reaction he had toward men was way too earth-shattering to even dwell on what might have been. Sometimes the reaction was slow and bubbly, sometimes it was quiet and barely there until it was almost too late. But never ever had the reaction been so strong then when he had met Hotch.

The BAU and his team had grown on him and quickly, he never thought he would fit in anywhere. He'd always been the spare wheel in a group of people that was until now. He learned to live with his crush on Hotch and while it was still explosive and exceedingly irritating, Spencer learned to channel his feelings into other things and so far it had worked wonders.

Still, there were moments when Spencer would watch Hotch when he knew no one else was paying attention, he would trace and memorize every step he took, his facial features and what they looked like at that moment in time. Having an eidetic memory was sometimes a good thing, other times it was a curse, because reliving things he didn't want to relive came with the territory of his own mind. The fear of his mind had always been great, especially with his mother's gene.

Ten percent chance didn't seem like much but when you combined it with Spencer's genius the number ten could just as easily have one more zero.

It was his twenty-fourth birthday and he knew he wouldn't get out of it because as soon as he walked through the door, Morgan was on him with a silly birthday hat and he was being guided to the table where a cake was being lit by JJ.

He saw Hotch off to the side with his arms crossed and Gideon was with him. For a moment their eyes locked and Spencer felt that reaction burning within him, but the next second he was pushed into his seat and told to blow the candles out which was fundamentally impossible considering they were trick candles.

Of course, Morgan was the big brother. He tried not to overhear Hotch telling Gideon that he was amazed that he knew so much at twenty-four. It seemed like the biggest present in his mind, to be complimented in such a way.

JJ was really sweet, and he didn't mind so much that she called him Spence, though at times it became embarrassing because he would blush and everyone would think he had a crush on her. He played on that crush to Gideon so that he didn't get any unwanted attention.

He was just about to eat his cake when Hotch interrupted, ending the party because of a case in San Diego.

The case was definitely a dark one, he could see Hotch's dark displeasure and he could even feel the simmering anger that he kept tightly under wraps. It was cold and cruel, sick and demented. It was what they faced every time they got on the plane.

He tried not to cringe when Morgan took a shot at him on the plane, and suddenly it was like a spotlight was on him and he inwardly retreated back into himself. He also noticed Hotch's lingering gaze as Gideon ordered him to keep digging into the message for a deeper meaning.

Once at the San Diego Police Department, Spencer saw where he could inject himself into the conversation without being nosy or rude, and his heart soared when Hotch's eyes were all on him suddenly, listening to everything he had to say about the ballads that were left at the crime scene.

Elle gave him a dark look for interference but he didn't particularly care. She had always been a little more cynical about his intelligence than the others. He supposed she didn't like him treating sexual crimes with indifference, but that wasn't true. Spencer simply never knew how to react to such emotional cases and he had decided that not reacting at all was the best way to survive his mind and his job.

He walked away after that feeling Elle's glare gain a little more ground and took a seat in the far corner where the copies of the ballads were strewn across the desk. Everyone must think he was an emotionless jerk, he knew they would never say it but he could almost feel it.

He was surprised when he looked up again to see Hotch standing behind him. He tried not to flush when the man smiled slightly and casually placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Sometimes I can't believe you're only twenty-four," Hotch confessed.

Spencer started at the man's words and then before he could stop, he laughed. "Same here, sorry if I interrupted over-" But he was cut off by Hotch's intense gaze. "I just…"

"Never apologize," Hotch chastised softly and he leaned down until his chin was hovering inches above Spencer's shoulder.

"It's just – she thinks that I'm not affected by these cases," Spencer found himself confessing. He looked away so that he didn't have to look into Hotch's eyes. "But I am. It's just easier if I use my mind to focus elsewhere."

"You don't have to answer to me, Reid."

"I feel like every time I say something I'm being insensitive, even JJ gave me a weird look when I was talking about the ballads, and a few months ago when we were on the 333 murders, Elle was describing the Unsub as me." He looked down as the feeling of pain shot through him at the memory.

"You're not," Hotch assured softly into his ear.

"I know…" But his voice wasn't confident enough to hold any strength. "I guess I'm too analytical."

"We all deal with these vicious cases in our own way. Look at me, Reid, I get angry and I bottle it up. I become cold and dark. I turn into something I'm not."

"You do that at work all the time," Spencer teased and then gasped and placed a hand to his mouth at his slip.

Hotch chuckled quietly and squeezed Spencer's shoulder a little more. "I do and it's because brilliant minds like yours can see right through me if I act otherwise. I can't be anything but professional at work."

Spencer dropped his hand and he smiled. "Thanks, Hotch."

The only response he got from the man was a warm comforting hand touching him on the head, and delicate fingers grazed through his hair. It lasted all of five seconds before Hotch let go and walked away and coincidently he had taken Spencer's heart with him.

oOo

A/N: If there are any scenes you'd like to see between Hotch/Reid let me know. This is my first CM Fanfic. All the chapters will be kind of short so I can update quicker.


	3. Until I Fall Away

_**Until I Fall Away**_

_I want to tell if I am or am not myself__  
__It's hard to know, how far or if at all could go?__  
__I've waited far too long__  
__For somethin' I forgot was wrong – Gin Blossoms_

It was pretty early for morning when they arrived in Quantico after the Tommy killer had been nabbed. They'd stayed overnight at the hotel, and now everyone had decided to finish their report so that they could have the rest of the day off.

One by one the agents left until Hotch thought he was the last one until he opened his office door and saw Reid sitting at his desk, shoulders hunched, and he was writing furiously. In the vacancy of the office Hotch allowed himself a small smile. He knew that he should hurry up and get home, but seeing Reid distracted him completely.

It was then that he remembered what he had and snatched it from his desk and silently made his way over to Reid until he was standing a few inches behind. Reid was concentrating so hard on the letter that he hadn't even heard Hotch.

Hotch was about to announce his presence when he saw that Reid wasn't exactly writing a report but a letter, and the heading was so simple, and yet it brought out a curious flow of questions that Hotch didn't think were appropriate to ask. Hotch never asked Reid about his personal life because he did not want anyone's personal and professional life to bleed into each other and Hotch was no different. He tried very hard to keep them separate but sometimes, things hit way too close to home for him to avoid the line.

_Dear Mom,_ was emblazoned on thick paper in amazing Old English type calligraphy. When Hotch finally announced himself, Reid gave a meek yelp as he jumped up from his desk. Hotch swallowed the laugh that threatened him and he smirked.

"Hotch!" Spencer gasped touching his chest to slow his rapidly beating heart. Spencer could not believe his boss had snuck up on him like that! He flushed radiantly as his heart rate kicked up in speed. He thought Hotch had went home and that he was the only one in the room. He'd been so intent to finish his letter which was overdue.

Hotch placed something on Spencer's desk. "Here, Happy belated Birthday."

Hotch felt his chest tighten and burn intensely when Spencer's eyes lit up bright. His face transformed from shock to shy delight. Hotch didn't think that expression was possible, but it was, and Spencer looked every ounce of innocent as he peered down at the flat package.

"Hotch…" Spencer's voice was a little strangled and he cleared his throat as he delicately picked up the flat square package wrapped in red. "Thank you," he breathed in awe. He'd thought for sure that everyone but Gideon had forgotten about his birthday.

He especially didn't expect Hotch to even recognize it and the fact that he did, meant so much to Spencer.

Hotch couldn't help it, he did smile, and wide. "You're welcome Reid, truth is I had a pair and no one to give the other too."

Spencer's long slim fingers tore at the package carefully and Hotch's eyes honed in on them instantly. Those fingers were almost sinful, Hotch thought completely enamored. Hotch was pulled from his tunnel vision on Spencer's fingers when he gasped.

Spencer nearly fainted when he saw one ticket to the David Rossi seminar in Baltimore, Maryland. He had tried to get tickets but they'd been sold out. How did Hotch know?

Hotch crossed his arms over his chest and he willed down his emotions at the look of wonder he received from Spencer. "Only Gideon shows interest in Rossi's seminars but he's busy Thursday, and I know you have all his books."

"I love David Rossi! The man's brilliant!" Spencer exclaimed with excitement. "You worked with him didn't you?"

Hotch nodded, he was trying not to hold his breath. Rarely ever did he get Reid's undivided attention, and it was doing things to him that it shouldn't. It was kind of scary, here he was being reckless. His wife was waiting at home and all he could think about was the beautiful smile on Spencer's face. The idea of having Spencer to himself all day long.

That was dangerous, but he wasn't going to retract the gift. He couldn't do that. But Hotch had to ask himself, what was it about Reid that fascinated him so much? Why did his body betray him? It seemed that even his mind was beginning to add to the betrayal and that was not good. It was dangerous and wrong.

Not wrong because Spencer was a male but wrong because he already had a life. He was married and had an unborn son on the way. Yet, here he was practically asking Spencer to go to Baltimore with him, like it was a date.

"Rossi is a good man, a little on the hardcore side, but he knows his stuff. If work permits would you join me?" Damn, now that _did_ sound like a date.

Spencer thought for sure his heart had stopped working. He had to be hearing things, did Hotch just ask him to Baltimore? Spencer couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it! What was so strange about this very scene that was happening in real life had only ever happened at night when he laid down to sleep.

"I'd love too," Spencer chirped before his boss could take back the offer. "I mean… if you want to put up with me for hours."

"I think I can handle it," Hotch assured and Spencer beamed.

Spencer was practically bouncing on the balls of his heels, everything about him was lit up, and Hotch reveled in the light while trying to control the urge touch it.

Hotch was like a moth and Spencer was like a flame, and that was even more dangerous because the moth always met a tragic end going into the flame.

"You better get home. You're exhausted," Hotch observed. "You can finish whatever you're doing tomorrow."

Spencer bit down on his lip and dropped his eyes to letter he was writing. "Yeah, I…" he trailed off briefly before picking back up again. "I write my mom every day."

Now Hotch's curiosity was getting to him. He wanted to ask but he knew better, instead, he inclined his head. "That's nice. I bet she's proud of you." He meant that. Reid tried to smile but it came out as a grimace, and this worried Hotch. "What's wrong?" he couldn't help but ask the younger agent, his shoulders sagged and his eyes closed as if he were in pain.

"My mom…" he whispered, "I haven't seen her in years. My letters are the only way I can say sorry for abandoning her."

"I'm sure it's good enough, Reid," Hotch said reaching out to touch his shoulder. He squeezed comfortingly. "Our jobs are hard, we're always on the go and we rarely have time to stop."

"Yeah, but I love it," Spencer admitted. "I actually get to do something with my brain. I can help others, I can solve equations and find the Unsub before he can hurt more people. It's a nice reward for being born cursed."

Hotch frowned and naturally gravitated a little closer, he was confused. "Cursed? Why would you say that?"

Spencer could feel the blush staining his cheeks. It was nice that Hotch seemed to care enough to ask. No one else ever had, and the intent look on Hotch's handsome face caused Spencer to spill one of his many secrets. "Having a memory like mine Hotch would drive anyone to insanity. All day and night long, it never ends, I can't stop remembering and I can't make myself forget."

"Your talents may be a curse at times but it's also a gift Spencer. You use them for the right purposes and you should be proud of that."

Spencer started when Hotch said his name and he instinctively curled in on himself, latching his right hand to his left forearm. "Thanks, Hotch."

"Go home, get some sleep. Perhaps when you wake, you'll understand what I'm telling you."

"You too, boss."

Hotch watched as Spencer packed his things and slung his bag over his neck and shoulder. "Good night – er morning, Hotch."

Hotch smiled and Spencer's heart flew away once more. Getting one of those smiles from Hotch was definitely another rare birthday gift.

oOo

Unfortunately, Hotch was very distracted when he got home that afternoon. His mind had been taken away by Spencer Reid and now he was setting up the crib in his and Haley's bedroom with not-so-innocent ideas about his future trip to Washington D.C.

"Honey, you seem awfully distracted, don't tell me your home away from home is on your mind," Haley gave him a chastened look from her place on the bed, where she was flipping through a baby magazine.

Hotch smiled and took the wrench out of his tool box. "No, nothing about work. The seminar Thursday."

"I thought you weren't going?"

"I wasn't but then I remembered my youngest agent, he's only twenty-four. It was his birthday and I had to cut it short because of a case. I thought I'd give him the other and make a day of it."

Haley sighed. "Yeah, I had hoped you'd be home all day. The baby shower is Friday," she complained.

"I'll be home Friday morning," he assured.

"The last time you said that you got a call and were gone for a week."

True. "I'll try not to let that happen."

"You're not very good at trying, Aaron," she chided. "I really hate your work, I'm jealous of it and I shouldn't be."

"Don't be," Hotch said picking up the instructions and making sure he did it right. He wasn't like most men who refused to look at the instructions and believe they could do it themselves and better. This was his son's safety and he would do it right.

"Ever think of transferring to something from nine to five?" Haley asked her tone hopeful. "I think it's about time. You've been at the BAU long enough."

"I can't," he said firmly. The thought of transferring was like something out of a horror film to him. He shuddered inwardly. The only way he would be able to handle that was if Reid transferred with him, but fat chance of that, considering his youngest agent had confided in him on how much he loved the BAU and the people he worked with.

Hotch had to agree, his agents were not only top notch but they were like a second family. It just so happened that Reid was his favorite for reasons unknown.

"No, you just don't want too," Haley snapped.

"That too." He didn't want to tell her that hell could freeze over and he still wouldn't quit.

"You're addicted to your job."

"I thought we agreed not to talk about that on my day off?" Hotch was trying not to sound irritated, because the more she talked about it the more he wanted to leave the house and go in.

Haley rolled her eyes. "Oh fine, as if I can't tell how high you get whenever someone calls and you have to get on a plane and go a thousand miles away from me. It's not fair!"

"I'm sorry, I told you before we got married that I was trying to get on at the BAU. I also mentioned that I would be traveling a lot and you didn't mind."

"I didn't then but I'm pregnant now, Aaron! I changed my mind, is that so bad?"

"You changed your mind but I didn't change mine. I'm exactly where I want to be."

Haley had taken to ignoring him now, she didn't understand, and he didn't expect her too. She had no idea what he saw every day going into work and why he couldn't quit. He was trying to convince himself that what he saw every day wasn't Spencer Reid and that it was the cases, the hopes of saving a victim from an Unsub. But as he added the last knut to the crib, Reid's big brown eyes mentally stared back at him and he truly smiled.

His thoughts were wrong on so many levels, but for some reason, he couldn't seem to care.

oOo

A/N: Thanks for all the responses. I will definitely have L.D.S.K. in this story and a very interesting scene with Hotch's younger brother. I'm trying to make Haley realistic without outright bashing her or making her into an idiot. Any suggestions send me a message! Perhaps I can understand what everyone in the CM world likes so I can do better. XD


	4. Crush

A/N: I've changed the location of the seminar. I had no idea it was TOO close to make a trip out of it. It's sad, I know more about England and Japan than I do about US. I'm still stuck in lala land

_**Crush**_

_It's just (ahh) a little crush (Crush)__  
__Not like I faint every time we touch__  
__It's just (ahh) some little thing (crush)__  
__Not like everything I do depends on you.__  
__Sha la la la, sha la la la_

To say he was slightly nervous was an understatement. Spencer spent Wednesday after work scouring his closet for something decent to wear. His mind was going into a topsy-turvy, so many scenarios played out but none of them made any sense to him and he was soon back to square one as he sat on his bed with a huff.

He rubbed his face tiredly. He'd just gotten in from work and Hotch had called him and told him to be ready by four. Usually, looking for something to wear wasn't a problem, but right now Spencer felt that he had way too many sweater vests in his closet to be appropriate.

He knew there had to be something decent for tomorrow, he was not only going to a seminar of one of his favorite authors but he was also going with Hotch. His boss, his very married and straight boss. Spencer spent some time chewing his lip before he jumped when his Roman numeral grandfather clock chimed at three thirty. He had a half-hour and that wasn't good.

He glared at his closet before he started digging again and finally after so long searching he pulled out a plain white turtleneck and a pair of jet-black slacks. His mother had sent them for his birthday last year but he had no place to wear it until now. It would be perfect for the seminar. He decided to keep what he had on for the road-trip except for the tie, which he secretly hated. It was only thirty-four miles but he would be stuck in a car this time and not the company SUV's which were roomy and gave him a nice distance.

He'd be in a car and next to his crush, the same crush that was married with a baby on the way. Spencer was a hopeless case of pathetic.

He packed his bag making sure he had spare boxers, socks, and his toothbrush. He snatched his glasses in case he were to lose his contacts, being cursed with the Reid Effect and all, it had happened before.

He left his small one-bedroom cottage and locked it tight and he was right on time, because a sleek black Dodge Charger pulled up in the drive behind his ugly old Volvo.

To his surprise, black suit and tie Aaron Hotchner was not who got out of the car, instead, it was a dressed down handsome man who didn't look so stern and imposing. He was wearing basic denim blue jeans and a dark blue sweater.

He was the kind of man who could make anything look good, Spencer decided taking up his bag.

"Here, I got it. Get in."

"Thanks," he said smiling wide and his excitement bled through before he could retain it. He could never hide when he was happy about something.

Spencer slid in and buckled his seat belt. He was trying to keep his knee from bouncing when Hotch elegantly slipped into the driver's seat. They were shoulder to shoulder and Spencer could imagine if someone took his vitals, they'd probably have him on medical leave for a week because of the spike.

Hotch couldn't have known that his feelings were spot on of Spencer's. "We'll drive straight there if you don't mind. We'll be in a lot of traffic if we don't."

"That's fine. So what's Rossi like?" Spencer shifted a little so that his back was against the door and he could see Hotch completely without having to touch him. "You worked with him and so did Gideon right?"

Hotch nodded. "We did. Rossi is a very meticulous man. He has unconventional methods as I'm sure you already know from his books. But he is also a wonderful field agent. He's a natural. When I first met him, I thought he hated me because he wouldn't so much as speak to me. Later, I found out it wasn't because he hated me but because he wasn't the type of man to strike up a random conversation. He is a charming man and he is the main reason why many of the rules in the BAU have been made."

Spencer couldn't help but laugh at that. He could only imagine.

"He'll do anything, even break the law to find an Unsub. He is not above getting his hands dirty."

"Neither are you," Spencer quipped naturally and Hotch snorted.

"Maybe, but I do follow protocol."

"Unless protocol doesn't work."

Hotch grinned, that was true, Gideon had told him that on several occasions. He had feeling of lightness, something he hadn't felt in years. It was a strange but nice feeling. He wasn't on edge and he wasn't worried about being his absolute best.

"I'm glad you decided to join me," Hotch said earnestly and Spencer beamed.

"Of course! How could I say no? It was the best gift!"

"Better than Gideon's?" Hotch teased causing Spencer to flush.

"Ah, uh, yes," he said with equal honesty. "Despite what our co-workers think, I do not see JJ that way. She's like a big sister."

For some odd reason, hearing that made Hotch's afternoon. He nodded in understanding and didn't press the issue and for that Spencer was glad.

The eighty-four mile drive was stretched longer due to the traffic on the highway, but for once in Spencer's life he didn't care and Hotch didn't seem to either. There was light chatter exchanged by the two of them and Hotch grinned when he said something that sparked Spencer's excited ramblings.

Instead of shutting him up like most of their co-workers would, Hotch simply sat there listening and trying not to laugh as he ran his finger along the steering wheel. But when Spencer started in on the tiniest details that no one in the world could ever know but him, Hotch let out a low chuckle causing Spencer to make a meep sound and his cheeks colored to a rather nice shade of pink.

"Sorry… too much information," Spencer said in embarrassment. Why did he always do that? He got so excited and then he started rambling. No wonder he couldn't get a date or a friend for that matter.

"No, Spencer. It's not too much information. I like it," Hotch told him looking away from the honking traffic to the elegantly stunned face. His mouth had dropped open and he was frozen in shock. Hotch leaned over and slid his finger under Spencer's chin and pushed up just a little so that his mouth closed. "Don't want to catch flies do we?"

Spencer gave an odd giggle-snort and Hotch arched an eyebrow as the twenty-four-year-old placed a hand to his nose and mouth. He was still trying to get over his first name being said on Hotch's tongue. It was foreign but at the same time it seemed right somehow.

"Was that a snort?" Hotch asked with amused incredulity. He laughed when Spencer shook his head shyly. "Right… and did you just _giggle_?" He couldn't help but call Spencer on it, he looked much too cute.

"_No_," Spencer's voice was muffled under his hand. "I don't giggle!" he protested.

Hotch gave a _hm_, "Not what it sounded like to me."

"Must be your hearing then. You are getting up there in age," Spencer taunted causing Hotch to blink and look over at his agent who flashed him a cocky smirk.

"Did you just call me old?"

"Not precisely," Spencer quipped. "I said you are getting up there in age, I didn't say you were old. That was your own interpretation."

"…" he was so not going to play word games with Spencer, because he would lose. Instead he chuckled and shook his head. "Fine, I'll play dumb just this once. But if you tell anyone…"

"Who would believe me?" Spencer reiterated. "Ah, come on, Agent Hotchner with a sense of humor? Everyone would think I was crazy, which I am partially, but that's beside the point."

If Hotch grinned any wider, his face would crack. "You do have a point and you're not crazy. You're just smart."

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. You can't have one without a little bit of the other."

"I think I heard Gideon say that same thing."

Spencer was pretty positive that he was the only person alive, who wished that the traffic jam had remained for another hour, but they were now beginning to move and soon, Hotch was going ten miles over the speed limit.

If Spencer didn't have an eidetic memory, he would have forgotten that Hotch was his boss. The conversation came natural and when it got silent it was comfortable.

It was just getting dark when they entered the busy city of Baltimore. The seminar was being held at a nearby university and apparently Hotch already had the room booked.

Luckily, for Spencer's blood pressure and fickle panic attacks there were two double beds in the room. After they dropped their things off Hotch and Spencer headed out for a late dinner. Hotch gave Spencer the choice.

"Anything so long as I don't have to use chopsticks."

Hotch chuckled. "I can teach you."

"I can't even use chopsticks with a rubber band, Hotch. I lose more calories trying to eat it." He rolled his eyes good-naturedly when Hotch continued to laugh at him. "Ooh, Italian!" he quipped cheerfully.

"Italian it is," Hotch agreed. As they entered the small leafy green designed restaurant, Hotch couldn't help but notice how the restaurant was set up for couples. Small tea-cup tables with Italian centerpieces.

The hostess smiled kindly at their arrival and she was already taking two fancy looking menus from under her station. "Two?"

"Yes ma'am," Hotch answered and she nodded.

"Follow me; we have a table that's close to the window. It has a wonderful view!"

Spencer had to shove his hands into his pockets to keep them from shaking. Perhaps he should have chosen McDonalds, it would have been a lot less awkward. He felt way under dressed.

"Can I interest you in a bottle of wine for your meal?"

"I don't think so, unless, Spencer?" Hotch looked at Spencer who had gone completely silent.

"Uh – no, thank you." That would be setting the element too high.

"You're server will be right with you." She walked off after that and Spencer sighed.

"Perhaps I should have mentioned McDonalds. I'm underdressed."

"Its fine," Hotch said scanning the room. Nearly everyone in the restaurant happened to be in romantic pairs. Two female pairs, a male pair, and four male and female pairs. It was very diverse except for the fact that they were all there for a date. "I won't be complaining so long as their food is as good as it looks."

Spencer agreed. It took him half a second to memorize the entire menu as he closed it and glanced out the window at the view that the hostess had bragged about. She was right, it was beautiful, the sky lights were streaming one by one the darker it became. He almost fell into a daze if it hadn't been for the waitress approaching and asking them the same question as the hostess about wine.

"If you like, I can offer a complimentary glass of wine for both you and your partner and then you can decide if you would like a bottle to share or to take home with you."

Spencer froze at her innuendo on them being partners, and all brain activity seemed to stop accordingly.

Hotch chuckled, getting over the remark quicker. "Thank you, I think we will."

It took a few moments for Spencer to unfreeze and to realize where they were and who he was with and exactly what the woman had said. Things couldn't get any more complicated could they? Spencer groaned inwardly.

When she was gone, Spencer laughed weakly. "Really trying to push that wine on us."

Hotch agreed. "I'm not driving tonight, so I figure why not?"

"I prefer sweet wines, the dry wines make me want to add a pot of sugar," Spencer admitted taking a drink of his ice water.

Hotch laughed. "As if you don't add it to your coffee already. I prefer red wine over white wines, it goes down smoother. But I'll take a beer over wine any day."

"I'm not much of a drinker except on occasion. Sometimes Morgan makes me go out with him and Garcia." He shuddered. "It's a little too much for my liking."

"I can picture that."

"Please don't." Spencer deadpanned.

Hotch merely grinned, the look on Spencer's face was classic.

Being in a fancy romantic restaurant with Hotch almost seemed like a dream. Never in his life would he have expected to find himself in this position. He kept his hands under the table, he was really nervous. He didn't want to give anything away or do something stupid that would ruin the night.

It was so easy to talk to Hotch, he was so different from at work but that only made Spencer's heart pound harder and that well known chemical reaction to start a fire deep within his chest. The drive had been the best. He'd always loved road trips and being so close to the one man he thought about constantly was a definite bonus.

If only things were so simple, Spencer thought. Sitting in a romantic restaurant in a setting that made everyone look beautiful with the lowly lit lamps above them made Spencer yearn for something more, something solid.

Both men could be found gazing out the window into the streetlights, and neither of them would ever know that their train of thought was exactly the same.

A/N: Took a mini-detour from the seminar. That'll be next chapter. I thought I'd play with our favorite men for a bit. I hope you don't mind the chapters being short. I can write 2k words with my eyes closed. I'm used to writing 5k word chapters and sometimes it was very hard to continue on when I knew I had to keep that length. But 2k is very easy and updates are much quicker. XD


	5. Change Your Mind

_**Change Your Mind**_

_Racey days, _

_Help me through the hopeless haze_

_But my, oh my_

_Tragic eyes I can't even recognize _

_myself behind. So if the answer is no_

_Can I change your mind? - The Killers_

Sometimes, Spencer Reid questioned his eidetic memory. He rolled his eyes when he heard Hotch laughing in the background. It was nice to hear the man let loose even if it was at his own expense.

"What good is an eidetic memory if I can't even remember to pack up my pajamas?" He whined.

It'd been a long time since Hotch had a good laugh and he couldn't help it. Spencer looked so helpless. It was almost ten at night and Hotch had just gotten out of the shower to see clothes strung all around the room as if they'd been there for a week straight and Spencer was sulking like a twelve-year-old. His arms were crossed with a huff and he was glaring at the TV show which was playing some ludicrous documentary about giraffes.

Of course it would be something that Spencer liked watching but at the moment he was glaring at it like the giraffe on TV was responsible for eating his pajamas and that was why Hotch was laughing.

"Here, I always carry spares." He tossed Spencer some gray sweats and a t-shirt. "We're getting up at eight and if I remember how hard you are to wake…"

"Alright, I'm going," Spencer took the bundle under his arms and then his boxers and toiletries. He tossed Hotch the remote knowing very well that the man didn't want to watch the Discovery Channel. "Thanks for these."

Spencer bolted the door closed and he stared down at the clothes in his arms. They smelled exactly like Hotch, a natural spice scent coupled with Tide. He placed them on the counter and was relieved to get into the scalding hot shower. He had to get his mind in order, not only was the scent arousing but so was Hotch when he had no shirt on.

His body was responding to his thoughts and he resisted cursing. He hated cursing and always felt that it was a very unintelligent way to display anger or displeasure but this was one instance in which cursing seemed almost relevant.

He continued to ignore it. There was no way he was going to take care of himself when his boss was just outside the door.

He finished quickly and set to dressing and choked when he saw that the sweatpants fell off his skinny frame and the shirt was so big that it was slanted to the side revealing his bony shoulder.

It was better than sleeping in day clothes, he came out with his hair sopping wet and he found Hotch stretched out on his bed with his ankles crossed and watching some old eighties comedy on the TV.

Hotch tilted his head to the side, eyes immediately taking in Spencer's slim figure from the pants that had to be held up with one hand to the shirt that was off his shoulder. The physical image of what he was seeing made his well controlled hormones attack him full force. Hotch didn't think he ever saw anything as sexy as Spencer wearing _his_ clothes.

Hotch chuckled when Spencer tried to do two things at once. "Come here," he commanded roughly. He scooted over and Spencer huffed as he sat on the bed with a bounce. Hotch snagged the towel and went to work drying the young doctor's hair.

Oddly enough it never occurred to either of them that once Spencer had sat down, he could dry his own hair.

Spencer was three shades of red and counting. "This is embarrassing," he muttered. But inwardly, he was delighted. Any contact was good in his book, however nerve wracking it was.

"I won't tell," Hotch promised.

"Good and I won't tell anyone how many times you've laughed and joked tonight," he said playfully.

"Deal." When Hotch pulled the towel away, Spencer shook his head causing his hair to flutter into his big brown eyes. Naturally, Hotch pulled the pieces back causing the time to briefly slow for the two of them.

It was such a simple gesture, but to Spencer it wasn't so simple. "Thanks," Spencer said unconsciously folding the towel.

They sat together ignoring the staged laughs on the television, and they stared at each other caught up in a strange sort of moment that neither of them could understand and then. "Good-night," they said simultaneously causing a flash of smiles.

Hotch turned off the TV and Spencer tossed the towel onto a nearby table and shuffled over to his bed and crawled in. He curled up comfortably as Hotch turned out the lights and they were bathed in not only dark but vibrating silence.

oOo

Hotch stared in amazement as Spencer swallowed his fourth crème filled donut with powdered sugar. He stood there wondering where the hell it went.

Spencer paused when he felt he was being stared at and he quirked an eyebrow. "What?" he asked going for the fourth. "They're free!"

"I know, but, I have a question, where does it go?" Hotch asked incredulously.

"My brain."

Now that was believable. It was eight-thirty in the morning and Spencer had not been too hard to wake up, especially when they decided to help themselves to the complimentary breakfast that consisted of nothing but sugar. The seminar started in an hour, and after Spencer snagged his sixth, Hotch had a respectable two, they set out into the cool busy streets.

Hotch had noticed instantly that Spencer was dressed differently than he normally would if they were going to work and he thanked God that Spencer did not wear what he was wearing into the BAU otherwise his fellow agents would be onto him, because damn, if anything looked good on Spencer's slim frame then it was a snug turtleneck and those black-slacks were like a second skin around his hips but fell fluidly passed his ankles unlike his work clothes where you could see his mismatched socks.

His hair wasn't gelled to his head and instead it was alive and slightly curly fluttering around the crown of his head. In all sense, Spencer looked gorgeous. He could very well be a model for Tommy Hilfiger or Versace.

To be honest, his interaction with Spencer was a little frightening. He couldn't quite make heads or tails of it if he tried.

Hotch never had a problem with same sex attraction. He was predominately straight but he would be a liar if he had said that he went through High School without looking. In fact, before he started dating Haley he had a couple of experiments here and there with guys. When he first hit puberty, boys were all he thought about because he had been in an all boy's private school before High School. But now, here he was a married man and he was having not-so-clean thoughts about his agent who was years younger than him.

What kind of man was he? But every time he tried to reprimand himself, he'd look over at Spencer and he'd forget his inner turmoil.

Spencer's excitement about the seminar built up gradually until they pulled into the university parking lot and he couldn't contain it anymore and it burst.

Hotch listened as they made their way through the long winding parking lot. He smiled a little here and there, and kept glancing at Spencer out of the corner of his eye.

"You know it was the same type of situation we found ourselves in two years ago… and the way he talked the man down… I mean… it was fascinating! And… oh my God, I'm sorry." He went quiet and bowed his head sheepishly.

"Don't," Hotch chided. "I'm glad you're excited. It makes my gift to you worth it."

"Oh definitely! I love it! I'm so happy to be here and not by myself!"

The seminar was everything Spencer expected, they sat in the fourth row, and he was so excited his knee kept bouncing. Seeing David Rossi in person to Spencer was like a metal fanatic seeing Metallica, with the exception that Spencer wasn't going to crowd surf, join a mosh pit, or tear off his clothes and go streaking through the aisles.

He kept his comments to himself so that they could both enjoy it without Spencer becoming an unwanted narrator.

Rossi's voice was as smooth as whisky. He was up there in age but he held it very well. He was extremely appealing and his mind was compelling. Spencer would love to have a few hours alone with Rossi and pick at his brain.

Hotch kept them back after the seminar and before Spencer could ask why, David Rossi had made his way through the crowd of handshakes until he came to a stop in front of Hotch. Instinctively, Spencer slipped behind his boss who he used as a shield.

"Hotch! It's been a while," Rossi said with a firm handshake and nod.

"You as well, David. How are you doing?"

"Better than most. I take it Gideon's not with you?"

"No, he had to give his own lecture back in Quantico."

"So, who's that hiding behind you?" Rossi quirked an eyebrow when Hotch chuckled a little and glanced over his shoulder.

"Hi," Spencer sheepishly came out from behind Hotch, his cheeks were pink and he bit down on his lip. "I'm…"

"He's Doctor Spencer Reid, my youngest and brightest agent."

"Young, I'll say," Rossi said and Spencer's cheeks got even darker when Rossi's eyes remained on him. "What do you do? Pick them right out of High School?"

Hotch smirked and Spencer cleared his throat. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Rossi." He held out his hand and Rossi took it and squeezed it.

"As you, doctor," he drawled.

"He actually has several doctorates. How old were you when you graduated High School?" Hotch asked his bashful companion.

"Uh, I was twelve."

Rossi stared at him. "What school did you attend afterwards?"

"Caltech."

"Ah, I see."

"I'm a big fan of your works."

"Thank you. It's always nice to be appreciated by someone so young and pretty."

Inwardly, Hotch scowled, he should have known that Rossi would have taken to Spencer and while his counterpart had turned into a cherry that did not dissuade him from getting Rossi in a conversation about his latest book. He went on and on until he was rambling much of Rossi's text back at him.

Rossi was merely staring and it was then that Hotch realized that he still had Spencer's hand. His eyes narrowed and he cleared his throat a little loudly causing Spencer to hush with a meep and Rossi to smirk.

"Very energetic, doctor."

"Spencer, please!"

"Then call me Dave."

Oh no! He knew what _that_ meant and he wasn't going to allow Rossi any time alone with his agent. "David," Hotch ground out sternly. "I did not bring Reid here so that you could hit on him."

"Oh why not? Gideon's too old and nowhere near as pretty and you're married! How about an early lunch?"

"We'd love too!" Spencer chirped before Hotch could decline the invite.

Seeing Spencer's shining face made Hotch's resolve crumble and he nodded. "Fine, but David, keep your hands to yourself," he warned evenly.

It was fifteen minutes and Hotch almost regretted agreeing to the lunch, he felt like a third wheel. Rossi was chatting Spencer up and keeping him interesting. His chair was tilted toward the young doctor and his head was inclined with interest. But Hotch knew that Rossi was tuning him out and staring at his lips, fascinated because not only were they full but they were elegant even amongst all the rambling.

"You know, Hotch," Rossi said lowly but Spencer wasn't even paying attention. He was still talking. "I can see why you like him. He's got some stamina."

"David," Hotch growled quietly. "That's my agent you're talking about."

"Yeah, you're agent not your boyfriend." Rossi smirked. "What's wrong? Afraid I'll take him away from you?" he said too low for Spencer to catch. "Does the happily married man have a thing for his agent?"

"David, that is not funny," Hotch hissed.

"No, it's not," Rossi agreed. "But it is curious, how you're so protective of him. Hell, I might come back to work in the near future if only to be around-"

Hotch's face turned to stone. "Inter-office relationships are against the rules, you should kno-"

"Since when has it stopped anyone from getting what they want?" Rossi interrupted cleanly. "It's never stopped me." He flashed Hotch a smile before going back to pretending to listen to Spencer.

For the second time in his life, he wanted to punch Rossi. He liked the man, respected him, and he was a friend, but he could be so infuriating. Especially, when he had his sights set on someone he wanted and that particular someone was a bright, beautiful, and cheerful genius.

When Rossi was with the BAU he was infamous for sparking relationships between several of the agents and what was worse, he sometimes had relationships with three at once. He could still remember the fights in the bullpen once the women and one young male intern had found out. It didn't end pretty.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Spencer yelped when he realized he'd gone on for exactly ten minutes without shutting up.

"Water?" Rossi offered charismatically. "You talk a lot."

"Yeah, I know. I get like that when I'm excited or nervous."

"You're nervous?"

"No, not really, it's just I'm excited!"

"Really, I'm glad. I thought I saw a few university students in my crowd sleeping."

"It was fascinating!"

"You have quite a memory, I understand," Rossi said after reviewing some of the bits and pieces that Spencer had talked about. How anyone could remember that besides himself was amazing.

"I have an eidetic memory, gets me in trouble. I can also read 20,000 words a minute." He paused long enough to pick up his mug of sugar coffee and take a big drink.

Now, Rossi _was_ impressed.

And Hotch was becoming every ounce of pissed off. Not at Spencer of course, he was innocent, but for Rossi to be all over him like he was a piece of meat was annoying. He should have expected it and prepared but he hadn't.

The lunch went on an hour and a half too long until Rossi's manager called about a scheduled interview. Spencer was delighted when Rossi shook his hand and gave him his card.

"Call me any time, Spencer. I'd love to have another conversation, it was enlightening."

"Thank you, sir!"

"Dave," he corrected with a wink as he shook Hotch's hand. "Good to see you again, Hotch. Tell Gideon I said hi."

Hotch squeezed Rossi's hand a little harder than he normally would have. "Same to you, and I will." He deadpanned.

Rossi chuckled quietly and dropped the money for all three meals and a tip. "On me."

Spencer tilted his head in thought. "He's more friendlier than I expected."

"Yeah," Hotch grimaced. "He took to you," he said in the calmest voice he could muster. He was almost cheered up when Spencer pinked.

"Yeah, a little too easily." He brushed the fringe of his hair out of his eyes. "But it was so nice being able to talk to him. Or rather me talk at him. I always do that. I need to learn to stop." He looked down at his half-eaten plate.

"You're fine the way you are. I think he was more amazed at the fact that you know his books better than him."

They walked around the city after lunch, they had the hotel for one more night and would be leaving early for morning.

It was nice, Hotch thought. He had cooled down considerably from lunch, and he reasoned to himself that he had no right to treat his old friend the way he had. But he couldn't help how he felt, he didn't want Rossi to get close to Spencer. He didn't want to see it. Hotch knew that Spencer could be drawn to him, not only was he brilliant but he was charismatic and Hotch wouldn't be much of a profiler if he hadn't picked up Spencer's disinterest of the good looking women that passed them by.

He was absolutely positive that no one else in the BAU picked it up. Spencer did a good job hiding it, but Hotch had been watching unusually close.

He heaved a heavy sigh before he could contain it and he stared up at the bleak skies. What was he supposed to do? He was not only attracted to his young agent but he was feeling a connection that shouldn't be there. He was happier now than he had been in a long time.

This shouldn't be right. It _couldn't_ be. He was married, he loved Haley. He had made a vow when he married her, hadn't he?

But when he looked over at Spencer who was watching him, he couldn't stop what was inside of him.

"You alright, Hotch?" Spencer asked in concern. "I'm sorry if Rossi made you feel uncomfortable," he said looking down at his feet.

"My only concern was if you were uncomfortable."

"No, _well_, yes. I don't know." Spencer shrugged. He was confusing himself as much as he was Hotch. He wanted to tell Hotch that he was uncomfortable because he didn't like Rossi like that. Perhaps if Hotch hadn't been around, he would have taken all the hidden innuendoes. Despite what his co-workers thought he wasn't that naïve. He knew when someone was hitting on him, however subtly.

But his feelings for Hotch trumped what could have been for David Rossi, and he hadn't wanted Hotch to see that.

They stopped next to a pond, Spencer rested his elbows along the railing that protected the cold water. "Can we keep this between us? I don't need Morgan's comments or Garcia's teasing."

"It's none of their business as far as I'm concerned. I understand the need to keep your private life separate from work."

"Yeah, you would." Spencer was grateful. "I want to thank you again, Hotch."

"Why? I've enjoyed myself. It was a nice change."

"It was," Spencer agreed.

"Hey, want to grab a movie while we're here?" Hotch asked impulsively.

Spencer's eyes lit up. "I'd love too!"

"We can even watch the newest Star Trek."

Spencer laughed. "I've wanted to see that but I never had anyone to go with."

"Now you do."


	6. Fix You

_**Fix You**_

_When you try your best _

_But you don't succeed_

_When you get what you want_

_And not what you need_

_When you feel so tired_

_But you can't sleep _

_Stuck in reverse - Coldplay_

When they were ten miles just outside of Quantico, Hotch got a phone call from Gideon. Apparently, a young girl had been kidnapped and to make matters worse, Hotch's wife had to be admitted to the hospital six weeks early due to her blood sugar getting too high.

Hotch grimaced as he hung up the phone, and Spencer shot him a look of sympathy. He'd just gotten reamed by Haley for not being there, and Spencer heard most of it due to her very experienced vocals.

"She'll be fine, we'll go on to work," Hotch decided grimly.

"Are you sure?" Spencer asked concerned. "She seemed pretty mad."

"Yeah, she's been irritated with me lately," Hotch confessed sincerely. "I try to take care of her but it seems as if everything I do is not enough. I know I'm not there half as often as I should be, but if she wants to keep that house, I need to keep working. The cases aren't going to solve itself and the mortgage isn't going to be paid otherwise." Hotch sighed heavily. "I'm failing her as a husband, we both know it, but neither of us are willing to admit it to the other."

Spencer winced visibly. He didn't know what to say, relationships weren't exactly his specialty. Contrary to popular belief, Spencer Reid didn't know everything. He may have a minor degree in psychology but when it came right down to it, he knew nothing. Reading books and studying was one thing but living it, Spencer only ever had small short relationships that ended after the second or third month.

"Even when I am there, I feel like an asshole."

"Why do you say that?" Spencer asked shifting in his seat so that he could look at Hotch better. "You're a good man, Hotch."

"I'm a good man but a horrible husband," Hotch confessed. "I know I am, she knows I am. I wanted to take care of her and I have. But lately, when I'm at home, I often stare at the phone waiting for someone to call in a case. What kind of husband am I?" Hotch asked desperately. "Tell me, Spencer, you're a doctor."

"I…" Spencer bit his lip. "I don't want to say anything because I've never been married, Hotch. I don't want to piss you off if I sound cold or mean…"

"Tell me!"

Spencer sighed and leaned his head back. "You keep saying that you wanted to take care of her. Why is that?" he asked professionally.

Hotch stopped at a red-light and ran index finger around the steering wheel. "Her home life was never the best. I met her in my junior year of High School. I liked her and thought she was sweet and when we started dating I learned the truth about her family. I wanted to take her away from that and I vowed to do everything I could for her."

"I noticed that you always use the word care. What about love?"

Hotch suddenly hesitated. "I – I love her."

"You don't sound sure."

Hotch sighed and pressed the accelerator when the light turned green. "I love her but I'm not so sure I'm _in_ love with her. She means the world to me, she's having my son. But I feel like I'm failing."

"Failing her or failing yourself?"

"Both. I have always put her needs before mine, except when it comes to work."

"That's because what you do at work is all yours," Spencer clarified. "It's no one else's. It's one of the very few things you allow yourself to have. You sacrifice a lot for her Hotch. It takes a strong willed man to be able to do so for so long."

"I didn't realize that I was unhappy until a few months ago. I didn't realize I had a reason to be unhappy. Then one day, I come home and I have a three day weekend, no cases whatsoever. I don't know if it was the mood because of her pregnancy or something else. But she was livid with me, I said one thing and she went ballistic.'

"She began to throw things and tell me how she wasn't happy and that she was never happy. She even went on to say that she wished she had never gotten pregnant with my child. At first, I thought maybe she was in pain. I mean it can't be easy to be pregnant but a day later I happen to answer her cell phone and it was one of her Professor's from college. Apparently, they had scheduled a night out to reminisce. Honestly, I didn't mind, I thought she needed to get out and cool her head, calm down. But a week after that she had another fit. She was glad to see me gone that weekend and now, she's clinging to me again."

"Extreme rage during pregnancy is quite common considering her hormone levels, especially if there has been past dealings with abuse of any kind. There's a chance that she feels trapped, and by her clinging to you now there's a chance she is trying to make up for her fits of rage." He didn't even want to breech the subject about this professor that she went out and saw. He feared what would happen if he dug deeper, so he kept silent about that.

"She had changed at the end, she got clingy, almost desperately so. But then I call her now, and she yells at me. I could hear the nurse on the other end of the line trying to calm her down, and she snapped at the nurse. I can't tell what she wants."

"What about before she became pregnant? Did she have any outbursts?"

"A few but none that weren't fixable. She got mad once and threw a fan at me. We had a great marriage in the beginning but now it seems that she's getting more and more sour, like she doesn't want the life I'm giving her. Which I don't blame her, a husband who is gone all the time can't be easy on her. It's not all her fault, some of the blame is definitely on me."

They pulled into the FBI station lot and Hotch parked in his usual place. He sighed and looked over at Spencer. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" Spencer asked softly. "You asked me a question, I answered it. I didn't go into any technical terms because you probably wouldn't understand, and even if I am a doctor, it's hard to evaluate someone you're close too. The only thing I can tell you in all honesty, do what's right for your son. If you can't figure out what to do for your wife because of the animosity, think of your child. But also there comes a time when you need to think for yourself. Not what you want but what you _need_, Hotch."

Hotch smiled and calmly placed a hand on Spencer's. "Thanks."

"Any time."

No matter what Spencer's feelings were for Hotch, he would not jeopardize the man's marriage. He would do nothing of the sort, simply being close to him and being able to use the term friend was more than enough for him. He could live with it. He would even go against medical advice and tell Hotch to continue taking care of his wife, continue loving her whether he felt it for himself, because their child would be the one to suffer in the end.

Together they made their way through the FBI headquarters up to the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Hotch had slipped out of his relaxed comfort zone and into drill sergeant mode. Spencer resisted a shiver as they stepped into the elevator.

Spencer knew he was out of his mind, but Aaron Hotchner looked so sexy when he was in boss mode. Hotch arched an eyebrow at him.

"You alright?"

Spencer smiled lightly. "Yeah, just fine, boss."

"Right."

Morgan was on him like bees on honey, asking him about the Redskins and his subsequent date with JJ, which made Spencer wince inwardly. He had given the tickets to JJ and told her to take whoever she wanted, because he had opted to go with Hotch. Instead of revealing this, he simply said. "Top secret." Then he redirected his question with one of his own.

Hotch had gone to his office to once again try and call Haley to calm her down, and no one in the office was any wiser.

It took them forty minutes get everything together and get into the air for the flight. They were meeting with an Evan Davenport. Spencer sank down in seat near Morgan and he was surprised when Hotch passed him and handed him a loaded coffee with sugar and casually sat in the vacant spot next to him.

Spencer tried not to read too much into it as he flipped through the files one by one, memorizing everything about it.

"What have we got?" he asked sipping his black coffee.

"Evan Davenport, US attorney, executive assistant in the southern district of New York, assigned US Marshalls three times in the past ten years due to death threats," Spencer informed. His coffee was perfect, filled with sugar. No one else could come close to making it the way he did.

Hotch hid a smile behind his cup of coffee when Spencer silently thanked him.

"Is the protective detail still current?" Morgan asked.

"Round the clock, but Trish declined protection when she turned eighteen," Hotch informed.

"Too bad for the boyfriend," Morgan commented dryly.

Spencer flipped through some more of the information, looking for something he could work with. "Why kill the boyfriend?" Elle and Morgan looked at him as if he were crazy. Spencer blinked. "What? It's a good question."

Morgan chuckled. "Well if I wanna kidnap someone, I know I have to take whoever's with them out."

He had a point and now Spencer felt a little stupid for asking such a question. It should have been obvious. He went back to his coffee hoping that his rationality would come back.

"Hm, it says here she's got a sister."

"Cheryl Davenport," Hotch answered immediately.

"Any problems? Were they close?"

Spencer smiled a little. "Yeah, they were close." He held out a photo of the identical girls. "Twins."

While Elle and Morgan were going over the rest of the file that Spencer had already read, Gideon was flipping through school records.

Spencer took another drink of his coffee and spaced out a little. He was thinking back to Hotch's confession. He was a pretty surprised that the man had even told him anything. Hotch was a very private person and to give Spencer enough trust to tell him what he wouldn't tell others made the young agent feel good.

Not good for Hotch of course, his situation was very complicated. But it was nice to know that Hotch trusted him and even asked for his professional opinion. Spencer knew he hadn't sounded very intelligent talking to Hotch about it. But how could he be so distantly cold about the relationship like a therapist when it was not only his boss, but a man that Spencer was falling in love with?

He sighed quietly and closed his eyes, he did his best to drown out the comments around him. The only one not talking was Hotch.

If he had told Hotch what he really thought, he shuddered to think of what might have happened. Hotch might have exploded if Spencer told him that Haley could be dangerous. Even though it was normal to go through fits of rage during the second and third trimesters, it was not healthy to go back and forth like that.

It could be stress related but Spencer didn't know Haley and so he couldn't say for sure. But he was almost certain that she had no stress. She had a husband who took care of her, he may not always be there but when he was, he gave everything he had to her, and Spencer thought she was being a little ungrateful.

So, he kept his true professional and personal opinion to himself and told Hotch what he wanted to hear rather than what he needed. Perhaps he should recommend a therapist that wasn't attached, because his judgment was completely off.

When he opened his eyes, he was taken aback when he saw dark eyes staring right at him with such intensity. He bit down on his lip and brought his cup of coffee to his lips. He held it with both hands, like a child would.

Spencer smiled slightly before placing his drink down and excusing himself for the restroom. His heart was beating fiercely. His emotions were getting the better of him, and he needed to splash some water on his face before he did something incredibly stupid.

He ran the water and drowned himself in it several times, trying to wake up and get his sensibility back when there was a tap on the door and Hotch was standing there.

"You alright? You look troubled." His eyes were heavily laden with concern and Spencer smiled.

"Yeah, I'm worried about you is all."

Hotch was surprised. "Why? It's my problem."

"No, it's a two way street. It's not just your problem." He licked his lips and went for the towel but Hotch had already snagged it and he began to dry Spencer's face gently. "I'm just afraid… that I told you what you wanted but not what you needed."

Hotch smiled at that. "Perhaps you did. But I understand and I know, it's both our problem. But you shouldn't have to worry about it."

"But I do," Spencer said sincerely. "I mean, I care about you. You're more than my boss, Hotch. You're my friend. One of the few I have. I don't want to see you unhappy." He couldn't help but confess some of his feelings. It was true, it was all true, and the only part he left out was how much his heart burned for Hotch. He couldn't give that to the man, even though he was certain he felt something.

He was not naïve, men who were simply friends did not offer to dry your hair or take you to a romantic restaurant and then proceed to pick up the tab, and male friends did not hold hands or go see a movie together and feel so unexplainably comfortable in each other's presence. It wasn't probable.

"I'm not unhappy, not right now anyway. I'm very happy and you know why?" Hotch asked pushing a piece of Spencer's hair out of his eyes.

Spencer decided to take the bait. "Why is that?"

"You're here and you care." He lightly caressed Spencer's baby soft cheek. "That's what matters. I thank you."

Spencer shivered under the touch and he longed to close the small gap between them, he wanted to feel Hotch under his fingertips, but he knew he couldn't in fear of what would happen if he did. He wanted to tell Hotch that being touched like this, was causing his whole body to burn with desire, but he didn't have too because Hotch nodded and let go.

It was like Hotch read what he was thinking off the top of his head. "I know, Spence, I know because, I feel it too. It burns."


	7. Sorry

_**Sorry**_

_I'm sorry I'm bad,_

_I'm sorry you're blue, _

_I'm sorry about all things I said to you_

_And I know I can't take it back - Buckcherry_

It seemed that after that particular half-spoken, half-felt conversation on the plane brought Hotch and Spencer at a strange impasse. Neither of them knew how to act or what to say, whenever they thought something would come out, both men would turn and walk in opposite directions.

Luckily, they hadn't been busy at the bureau after the Davenport case Hotch was given some free time away from the office. But neither of them were sure that distancing themselves was a good idea.

Hotch spent his free time at the hospital, trying to get Haley to calm down. He brought her flowers and he sat with her. He even tried to read to her but at one point she snatched the book out of his hands and ripped it to shreds and told him to go that she didn't want to see him.

Hotch was a little hurt at this, he was trying to make it right, and he had juggled briefly with the idea of actually transferring out of the BAU if only to make her happy. He tried to tell himself that it was the pregnancy and being cooped up in a hospital bed. But deep down, he knew that it was more than that.

"Haley," Hotch said quietly one afternoon.

She looked at him darkly, he could see the exhaustion in her face, she had rings around her eyes and she was hooked up too way too many monitors to be comfortable. "What is it Aaron?" she asked obviously too tired to snap at him.

"What do you want, Haley?"

She frowned. "Pardon?"

Hotch inclined his head. "I'm tired of guessing. I want to know, what do you want, Haley? Do you want me to transfer out of the BAU? Take a job where I'm home every evening by five o' clock?"

She stared at him for a long minute and then her shoulders sagged. "I don't know, I think we'd just fight even more. I'm not entirely sure what good it's going to do."

"I don't want our son to grow up listening to us fight."

"Me either. You know, I thought getting pregnant would help our marriage," Haley said softly as she laid back and brushed a hand through her hair. "But it's just made things harder. I figured that if we had a family, our attention would be elsewhere, but it only makes me long for something else, something more." She sighed heavily. "I can't hold your attention anymore and you can't hold mine. You go to work to escape me. I know I can be awful, Aaron."

"You're pregnant, I don't expect you to be one hundred percent all the time."

"Even before I got pregnant, I threw a fan at you and a wrench! All for nothing. For some reason, I get around you and one part of me wants to love you and the other part wants to throw things at you, scream at you. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"If it would make you happy…"

"But it wouldn't," Haley interrupted. "It would make both of us miserable. I wouldn't get away from you and you wouldn't get away from me. We'd always be breathing down each other's neck. I… I wanted it to work for our son, but, I don't want him to grow up in the life I grew up in."

"Me either, Haley. Which is why I'm trying. I promised to take care of you, and I may not be the best husband-"

She laughed darkly. "Aaron, you may not be the best husband but I'm not exactly the best wife." She shook her head. "I turn into a monster at times. I turn into my mother. I know even before you joined the BAU, I took you for granted. I never appreciated anything you did for me and for some reason I still don't even though I know all of this. Yet, I can't help but wish to be somewhere else, somewhere not here, and not with you."

"You mean that." It was true, but Hotch didn't want her to feel that way.

Haley sniffled and wiped the tears. "Yeah, I do. You won't say what you think, so I have to be the bad guy. You think I don't see it? I don't see the sacrifices you make? You keep your job at the BAU because it's the only thing that frees you. I don't think High School sweethearts is all it's cracked up to be."

Hotch's shoulders sagged and he threaded his fingers together. "I'm willing to do anything for our son, Haley."

Haley's expression went through several stages, a flicker of instant rage, jealousy, and then a sad sort of resolve. "God, what kind of woman am I? What kind of mother am I going to be? I suddenly felt so angry that you were putting our son first. God…"

"You can't help what you're feeling now. You're stuck in this bed feeling miserable, and I can tell you haven't slept much. But I wonder, are we doing more harm than good in our marriage?"

"I was thinking that same thing as well. I'm not sure how healthy this is, for any of us. We've been together too long, I think. Nothing feels right anymore."

"I want you to have a stress-free labor. I don't want to pile anything on top of you. I can handle whatever it is you throw at me."

Haley sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Just go, Aaron," she whispered. "Please, I need to be alone. I have this inexplicable urge to start fighting."

Hotch gave a nod of understanding. "Try and sleep."

"What do you think I was doing?" Haley snapped and then flinched visibly. "Sorry…"

He wanted to touch her on the shoulder and tell her he understood, but he couldn't. It would just make things worse. Instead, he inclined his head. "Good-bye, Haley."

oOo

He was trying, he really was, but it seemed that no matter how hard he tried, Spencer Reid could not stop thinking about Hotch. Not only did he have a sickening feeling in his stomach like he had been slugged by a bully, but he was also worried for Hotch. The man had been given a few days off cases permitting but everyone else was tirelessly at work trying to finish up dusty reports that were long overdue.

Morgan passed by and rapt his knuckles on his desk. "Hey, Kid, what's wrong? You look like the coffee machine is broken again." He smirked and Spencer tried to drudge up a smile but it came out as a painful grimace.

"Nothing, I just don't feel well," Spencer replied and he wasn't exactly lying. He did feel nauseated, but for entirely different reasons than a potential bug going around.

"Why don't you tell Gideon then? We've been slow all week, I'm sure he'll let you go home."

"Whether I'm here or at home, I'll still feel sick. I'd rather be here," Spencer said and didn't reveal that he hoped that if he was here, Hotch would come through the door any minute. He wasn't sure how much good it would do even if Hotch came in. He was stuck in a marriage crisis and his wife was about to have a baby.

It probably didn't make things better that he was having feelings not only for a man but for his youngest agent. It went against everything that Hotch stood for.

Spencer let a small sigh escape his lips. It was his fault, he got too close, and he shouldn't have. He knew he should have kept his distance but it was like a gravitational pull and done without letting him have a real say so.

He wasn't sorry for the time he spent with Hotch, they were amazing, and he wasn't sorry for his feelings, but he was sorry for accidentally-without-knowingly manipulating the man into the situation. He glared down at one of the files, the words running together until all he saw was blobs of ink. He slammed it closed, and decided to take Morgan's advice on leaving early.

Morgan smirked when Spencer finally stood up. "I'll do that for you, just this once, but you owe me."

Spencer laughed weakly. "Yeah, I guess I do." He dropped the file onto Morgan's desk. "Thanks."

"No problem, Pretty Boy."

After escaping Gideon's critical eye, he snatched his leather bag and quickly headed out of the office. He shuddered, being under Gideon's silent profile always made Spencer cringe because he was sure that his mentor-like father could read not only his mind but his soul as well.

He agitatedly hit the elevator button and waited as he gripped his bag until his knuckles turned white. When the elevator grates opened, he froze completely when he saw Hotch standing inside.

They stood there on opposite sides of the elevator staring at one another with a silent intensity. Spencer's chest was now on fire and he hesitantly took his eyes away from Hotch and glanced over his shoulder before saying. "I'll take the stairs."

Before he could get away fast enough, Hotch reached out with a firm hand and tugged Spencer into the elevator and at the same time hit the button that took them back down and as the elevator began to move, he pressed the switch that stopped it completely while at the same time causing a blinking light over the elevator station to say 'out of order.'.

"I'm sorry," Hotch whispered keeping hold on Spencer's wrist.

He was visibly trembling now and his short thin nails dug into the well-aged leather of the strap across his chest. Spencer frowned. "W- what do you – Hotch – you have no reason to be sorry."

"I do," he stated firmly. "I'm sorry for avoiding you."

Spencer closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them, he saw not his boss or Agent Hotchner. He saw Aaron. "You have every right. I'm the one who's sorry!"

"I don't. I admitted something that I have kept secret for a while and I was conflicted."

"Hotch…" he breathed and then bit his lip nervously before readdressing the man in front of him. "Aaron."

A very small and barely noticeable tremor slid through Hotch's body when Spencer spoke his name. "I like that."

"I… I didn't mean to make things complicated for you. I didn't mean to manipulate you, it was not my intention… I…"

"Spencer."

"I mean, you're married, and you have a son on the way… I got in the way of that… and I'm so very-."

"Spencer."

"I have no rig-" Spencer let out an audible gasp when he was pushed into the wall so suddenly and their bodies pressed together firmly. He could feel the radiating heat between them and from the look on Hotch's face, he could too.

"Spencer, hush for a moment," Hotch commanded softly. "You've said you were sorry a hundred times for something that you had no control over. If I did not want to be around you, I wouldn't have started. If I did not want to be in your presence, I would not have asked you to go with me to the seminar. You are not responsible for what I've done. The only thing you are responsible for is opening my eyes and showing me how unhappy I am with the way my life was currently going."

Spencer by now was seriously chewing on his lip, so much so that it was about to become a bloody victim. Hotch chuckled lightly and brought his hand to Spencer's face and cupped it and he used his thumb to pull his abused lip down. He couldn't believe what he was hearing or feeling, Hotch was saying everything that he had dreamt and yet he couldn't register the words but he did understand the tone behind it.

Hotch was a control freak, he would never have allowed anything to happen that he didn't want.

"I just – I want you to be happy, Aa- Hotch."

Hotch brushed a strand of hair out of Spencer's eyes. "Calling me Aaron in private is a pretty good way of making me happy. I gave you silent permission to do so when I called you Spencer for the first time."

Spencer should have known that and when he smiled, it was real and he laughed a little and shook his head. "I just – I feel like I mess everything up that I touch, you know? Like with my mother, I know it's genetic what she has, but I can't help what I feel inside, that somehow and someway it was my fault. My brain tells me one thing which is the obvious but my heart tells me something else."

Hotch wondered about Spencer's mother. He had never asked, perhaps it was about time he did. "I felt the same way when my father used to hit me."

Spencer's eyes widened and he clutched Hotch in horror. "He what?"

Hotch nodded. "Yeah, my father was a real bastard, he used to beat the shit out of me. It was always me, never my little brother. Whether he was sober or drunk, I was his target. I thought it was all me, until I came home one afternoon and caught him hitting my mother. Then I realized, he hit me because I was stronger than him and he was insecure. He hit me because I was everything he wished to be and he couldn't stand it. I understood that because my mother was stronger than him. Sean was the baby, he was no threat."

"Where is he now?"

"Dead. He died a few years ago, cancer ate him alive. From what my mother told me, she was the only one at his funeral."

Spencer sighed. "My situation isn't as bad, my mother she's schizophrenic. She was my whole life, my father walked out on us when I was really young. He couldn't take it anymore and it got to the point that I couldn't do anything for her and when I turned eighteen, I had to have her committed. I know what's wrong with her, I know it front to back. How it's passed and how it progresses worse and in my head, I know it's nothing I did. It's just genetics, but sometimes, my heart won't listen to my brain. I write her every day because I don't have the courage to go and face her."

That explained a lot about Spencer, more than he expected it too. "I think we're both on equal ground now. I've never told anyone, Haley doesn't even know."

"And you tell me in an elevator at work," Spencer said with a small smile.

Hotch winced and he shook his head. "So I did. Not exactly appropriate for conversation. But perhaps it was what needed to happen and I'm sorry."

"If I can't apologize then why are you?" Spencer asked logically. "Perhaps if both of us feel the need to blame ourselves, we should share that. It's only responsible after all."

"This won't be appropriate either, so stop me now." Hotch pressed his mouth into Spencer's lips in a blazing kiss of pent up want and need.

Spencer locked his wrists around Hotch's neck and kissed back with as much fire as he was given.

Hotch pushed Spencer's back to the wall of the elevator and he was pulled closer and the kisses were shared relentlessly without any thought or care to what would happen if someone decided to pry the doors open. Hotch's right knee slipped between Spencer's leg intentionally causing him to suck in a shuddering hot breath.

Both were sucked in deeper and deeper and things would have gotten out of control had it not been to the shrilling cell phone ring in Spencer's pocket. When they pulled apart they were both panting slightly and staring at one another like they had entered some sort of twilight zone.

"Did I go too far?" Hotch's silky voice asked seemingly surprised by how they ended up so close. He could feel Spencer's arousal against his knee and he was damn sure that his own could be felt as well.

"No," Spencer assured with a crooked smile. "Not at all. Although, if we don't stop now, someone's going to report the elevator out of order and I do not know how to explain being in an elevator with my boss."

Hotch chuckled. "Perhaps you should answer that phone. I only came into work to find you."

"You found me, now what are you going to do?" Spencer asked quirking an eyebrow.

"I don't know," he admitted truthfully. "We'll have to see. I know what I did was wrong but at the same time, it feels right."

"Could just be your hormones."

"I doubt it. I have a lot of self-control."

"I agree there," Spencer quipped.

"You never answered your phone."

"Didn't need too. It was no one important."

Spencer smiled and deleted the number that had been called, _'David Rossi._'

oOo

A/N: Thank you for all the responses. I was juggling the idea of having Penelope see the them on camera, but I decided not too, because I didn't want anyone interfering with their growing relationship. Right now, it's at a very fragile stage and I didn't think it was wise. So instead, dear David Rossi had to become unimportant. (I still love him though!)


	8. 21 Guns

_**21 Guns**_

_Do you know what's worth fighting for?_

_When it's not worth dying for._

_Does it take your breath away?_

_And you feel yourself suffocating – Green Day_

"You have to relax your shoulders and find your comfort zone. Follow through with the shots, don't pause to see if you've hit the target," Hotch instructed with a fond smile as he watched Spencer fumble with the gun and reload. "Go easy, be confident, and you should hit the target every time."

"I hit the target but not where I'm supposed too," Spencer said feeling a nerve headache pressing into the corners of his temples.

Hotch was standing right behind Spencer and watching his stance with way too much fondness to be appropriate.

Two shots rang out in the deserted range and Spencer glared at how off center he was. He tore the glasses off and placed the gun down. "I've read every manual on and off the internet. I even went back to the beginning of the century and while I know the theory putting that to the test and I fail it. I mean, I barely passed my last assessment and Morgan's really going to annoy me."

Hotch was trying not to laugh because Spencer looked like a petulant little child with the slight pout of his bottom lip.

Ever since that eventful day in the elevator, the two hadn't really made much progress except for the profound knowledge of knowing what they did for one another. Hotch was still trying to sort out his mind and feelings because of his wife and Spencer wasn't going to pressure or push him into anything he wasn't ready for.

There was still so much red-tape and Spencer did not want to become the famous 'mistress' that he'd interviewed so often during cases.

Hotch didn't want that either, so what they received out of the whole incident was understanding and clarity, the ability to be within one another's presence and not feel like the world was going to fall apart because of them. There was still a lot of temptation, too much at times, but it was easier to handle.

_Somewhat_.

But there were still those instances, when Hotch would look at Spencer or when they were trading files and information and their fingers brushed together. That was what made the world suddenly stand still as if it was waiting on the two of them. And as strange as it sounded to Spencer, it was like the world was actually on their side.

Hotch gently laid his hands on Spencer's shoulders and felt the knots of discomfort in his youngest agent's muscles and he squeezed a little. "Relax," he repeated into his ear.

"I'm trying! I'm hopeless, last year, Gideon tried to help, and the year before that was Morgan. I'm going to lose my gun."

Hotch slid his hands down and nudged Spencer aside and replaced his safety gear before taking his own gun.

Spencer moved behind him and placed his hands to the muffs on his head as Hotch put three perfect rounds in the target's chest without even blinking. It was insane when Spencer began to feel the spike of arousal by simply watching Hotch. His stomach flipped with excitement and all of his senses were open and well aware of Hotch from his expressions to his body language.

When Hotch lowered the weapon, he reminded Spencer of his words from earlier. The ones he had learned through SWAT training.

Hotch put his gun back in its place and turned a little to see Spencer watching him while biting his lip. "Come on, try once more and relax. As I said before, find your comfort zone. Everything you've read and even what I'm saying, it all comes from our own zones. What we feel is right."

Spencer huffed and shuffled forward and assembled his weapons with silence.

Hotch wound up distracted by watching those fingers. They were so meticulous and precise and it reminded him of a surgeon about to do an operation. He had the steadiest hands, not to mention the most beautiful set he'd ever seen on a man because they complimented his tall slim frame.

Hotch couldn't stop the quiet chuckle when Spencer shot the target right between the legs. "Did Elle teach you that?" he asked curiously. Spencer scowled and he started pouting again and once again. "We're profilers, we're not required to carry a gun," he reminded.

Spencer rolled his eyes. "Yet, you carry two of them."

Hotch smirked and slid down and unhooked his spare firearm from his ankle and he shot three more bullets in the same place as he had before.

Once again, Spencer's excitement threatened to reveal itself. When Hotch replaced his gun, he couldn't resist and carefully slid his arm around Spencer's waist. The invisible hook had been too much for him. "When I joined the BAU, Gideon said to me, you don't have to carry a gun to kill someone."

Of all the things Spencer knew, he fumbled on that one. "I don't get it."

Hotch placed a soft lingering kiss to Spencer's lips. It was returned and all his pent up tension drained away at the subtle contact. "You will," Hotch promised. "We better go, good luck tomorrow. Remember, try and relax."

"Easy for you to say." Spencer's fingers tugged at Hotch's tie. "You make shooting look so simple."

"And you make Quantum Physics sound like breathing."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

Hotch grinned and took the safety glasses and headpiece off Spencer so that he had a much better view of his face. "It means that when you finally learn to shoot, you'll never forget, and no one will ever tease you again."

oOo

He knew that he would catch hell when he walked through the bullpen the very next day. His co-workers became silent and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. They were Profilers and yet they gossiped like school children until the one they were talking about came into the room and then sudden silence. If that wasn't a tell-tale sign then Spencer wasn't a genius.

He resisted the urge to growl at Morgan when he placed a whistle around his neck. He just had to be taunted.

"Need anything, Pretty Boy, just blow." He demonstrated with a snicker as if Spencer was a five-year-old child.

As he walked away laughing, Spencer tore off the damn whistle with irritation. He knew this would happen. Hotch stepped into the bullpen and Spencer felt marginally better as the man shot Morgan a warning look. He couldn't very well voice his disapproval for their teasing, otherwise it would look too suspicious. But he knew that Spencer was feeling like a failure after they spent all afternoon at the range.

"Sorry boss, just joking with the Kid."

It was then that JJ approached them with a stack of files in one arm. "Hey, Franklin Park, Des Plaines, Illinois yesterday afternoon; three victims shot at long distance." Started to pass them out to each of the members. "It's the third such shooting in two weeks."

Hotch took his and quietly stood behind Spencer as if it were completely normal. His presence calmed Spencer's bubbling irritation about his loss of gun. He felt so exposed without it.

"Sniper?" Elle asked from across Spencer.

"We don't use that term," Morgan told Elle.

"Why not?" she asked incredulously.

"The public perception is, the FBI doesn't have an exemplary record with snipers," JJ confessed.

"Besides," Hotch interrupted, "A sniper is a professional marksman and these guys aren't professionals."

"What do we call them then?"

"L.D.S.K.'s."

At Elle's confused look Spencer answered. "Long Distance Serial Killers."

She nodded in understanding and then frowned. "How many of these guys have we caught using a profile?"

"None," Gideon said inserting himself into the conversation.

After a thorough summary in the conference room, they all met on the plane with overnight bags for the fly to Illinois. Spencer made himself comfortable next to JJ who smiled sweetly at him. Her sisterly smile made him feel somewhat better but he was still rather sore over his loss of gun.

He couldn't help but think that his loss of weapon couldn't have come at a worse time. Spencer did not like the odds of facing an LDSK without anything to protect himself with. But then again, being long distance meant he didn't have it anyway.

Hotch took his seat beside Elle and across from JJ and Spencer. "L.D.S.K.'s are so rare we haven't been able to make a standard profile, what we do know is that they're always male, and they have military and law enforcement experience and they always contact the police and the media."

JJ shifted in her seat slightly cramped seat beside the window. "To relive the experience or take credit?" she asked curiously.

"Both," Gideon answered. "All Serial Killers attempt to relive the ecstasy of the killings. Some take souvenirs and others revisit the dump site to interact with the body. This is what L.D.S.K's don't have."

"Take the Beltway shooter for example, he left a tarot card at the scene of one of his crimes and he was caught when we set up a tip hotline and he made contact."

"But our shooter has never made any such call," Morgan reminded.

"He will."

"Until he does, what do we have?" Elle wondered aloud.

"Sometimes it's not what he does but what he doesn't do," Gideon said in his educational tone.

"He doesn't kill his victims," Spencer answered outright. "And I need coffee." He wanted to get up but his long legs would mean kicking poor JJ.

"I doubt he would know that," Morgan teased and Spencer rolled his eyes, still annoyed with Morgan for earlier.

"I'll get it," Hotch was already up. "We won't be sleeping much until this guy is caught."

"Thanks," he said gratefully.

"Pet," Morgan hissed tauntingly under his breath causing Elle to whack him in the shoulder when Spencer's cheeks pinked.

"Reid's the one with the brain power, not you."

When they arrived in Des Plaines, they met with a woman that looked quite a bit like Oprah, except she was thinner. She was very skeptical, they could all see it and she had good reason to be. For once in their career, the BAU were the underdogs and she didn't take too well about the idea of one of her police officers being the Unsub.

But it was a very rational theory until Morgan came back with information from Garcia. It made things a lot more complicated and it was going to get worse before it got better.

They were able to rule out their theory of law enforcement when one of officers leaked it to the press at the expense of his own life. This was not what any of them wanted and they were wrong again about the narcissistic surgeon at the hospital.

Spencer and Hotch exchanged meaningful looks when no one was paying them any attention. Hotch was clearly distressed and a little irritated that their theories were turning out wrong until they found a link that led them to a hospital that all the patients were being taken too.

The Profile of the medical staff had been spot on and became an even better fit when they realized the obvious and that the nurses and MA's all had contact with the victims in the emergency room.

Hotch frowned deeply, he felt like they were running out of time. He had to get Spencer out of the hospital before something bad happened. He silently cursed about the firearm assessment. Spencer was now very vulnerable and he just knew that the Unsub was there in the Emergency Room.

"Hotch… Aaron?" Spencer touched him on the forearm to get his attention.

"Spencer, I need you to contact Gideon, now," Hotch said firmly.

Spencer nodded. "On it." He began to run but Hotch stopped him.

"Calmly, Spencer."

Flushing, the youngest agent nodded. "Sorry."

Hotch shook his head. "Go on, get out of here." _Please get out of here, before something happened_. He needed to get Spencer out of the building and safe.

But it all backfired when Spencer headed toward the exit and was knocked down by their Unsub. The same son of a bitch they had talked with not five minutes ago.

Hotch was on him immediately, but the hospital security guard had gotten in the way, and he knew then that they would all become hostages. All of the innocents in the room that were painfully wounded and Spencer.

He winced, it was his job to have empathy for the innocents and to be worried about them, but he couldn't help but worry more about Spencer. It was also his job to slide down onto the Unsub's level, the same level short of having a gun pressed to Spencer's head.

Hotch had no choice but to stand down, the chances of his rifle being on auto were too great to be a lie. Spencer rushed to stand beside Hotch when commanded, and although he looked calm, he was visibly shaken under Hotch's quick critical eye.

"You, take your partner's gun, now!" he ordered.

Hotch felt a plan forming the minute he spoke, their profile of the Unsub had to be spot on if the female nurse pin-pointed exactly who he was. But as the plan formed, he hated himself for it. This could not end well, but hopefully it would end with their lives saved.

"He's not armed," Hotch replied succinctly. "See for yourself."

Hotch felt a possessive reflex take over him when Unsub touched Spencer. He almost acted but at the last second he restrained himself.

They were soon being tied up and Spencer was forced to sit on the floor at his feet like some sort of pet, it was the Unsub's way of calling dominance and demanding submission. This caused the boil of anger to rise in Hotch more than normal. He had to keep calm and project his anger in a different way. He wanted to reach out and touch Spencer, he could feel the young agent trembling beside him. But he dare not do it. He couldn't let the Unsub know his fondness for his own agent or it could get worse.

"Now, tell me, what kind of FBI agent walks around without a gun?" he asked condescendingly.

"I'm a profiler," Spencer answered steadily.

"Profiler?" the Unsub smirked. "Sent you to figure me out, huh?"

"We did," Spencer said clearly. "That's how we found-"

"Shut up, Reid," Hotch hissed under his breath.

Spencer looked up at his boss and swallowed at the tight expression.

"No, don't shut up. Tell me what you think you know about me."

Hotch inwardly cringed at what he was about to do. "Go ahead genius, tell them," he ordered coldly. "But remember, if you get it wrong, he's going to kill you."

Spencer's entire frame froze up at the icy words, and he lowered his head.

To Hotch's inner relief, the Unsub changed tactics. "Alright, you're the boss. Why don't you tell me? Who am I? What's my plan?"

Hotch looked him dead in the eye. "I know you shot eleven people in broad daylight. You executed a cop in front of the FBI and got away clean, and I know you're going to go down in a hailstorm of bullets."

He looked impressed, "What else do you know?"

Hotch did his best to use the 'good' aspects of the profile to raise the standard of the Unsub's narcissism, and then, he calmly suggested that they use the patients to barricade the doors, turning the situation into his favor.

Spencer did not react to the hidden message within Hotch's words, and it was then that he understood what Hotch had told him about how a profiler could kill a man without needing a gun. Now all the Unsub needed was a little more push, and the young agent cringed mentally at what was about to happen. He was trying to mentally prepare himself, Hotch was going to play a very well known type of bully.

"Why would you help me?" the Unsub snapped harshly.

Hotch didn't miss a beat. "They knew you were in here, they knew you were armed and dangerous, and they sent me in here with a kid who couldn't shoot his way out of a wet paper bag."

"They set you up."

"That's right, they're probably laughing about it right now."

A few more well placed words of subtle coercion had all the patients lining up against the wall, and Hotch made a few extra cruel retorts about how he had failed his firearm qualifications.

Although Spencer knew it was a ruse, and he fully trusted Hotch with his life, it didn't stop him from visibly flinching when Hotch was given the okay to beat him up.

It ended quickly after that with Spencer shooting the man right in the head.

"FBI! HOLD YOUR FIRE!" Hotch shouted rushing passed the dead Unsub to get to the door before the SWAT team started with the gas.

Spencer was on the floor staring at the man he'd just killed. Morgan used a knife to cut the ties from his wrists and he was helped up.

"You okay, Kid?" Morgan asked as he touched Spencer's face.

The younger agent flinched and jerked his head away. "Yeah, fine."

Despite what he had to do, Hotch felt absolutely sick when he watched from afar as Morgan took extra care for Spencer. He was sporting a bit of a bruise on his lip and he knew it was from the Unsub's rifle but it didn't make him feel any better that he had chosen one of Spencer's biggest weakness to pray on.

It was twenty minutes later when Hotch was able to get to Spencer and he stood in front of the young agent who had his head bowed and his arms crossed over his stomach protectively. He waited until everyone left Spencer alone before approaching him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Hotch asked wanting to touch but he hesitated.

Spencer nodded without replying. He wasn't sure if he could. He understood, but that didn't mean he had to like it any.

"That was a nice shot," Hotch tried to change topics and Spencer snorted derisively.

"I was aiming for his leg."

Hotch grinned briefly before losing it. He stepped up and placed his hands on either side of Spencer and bowed his head. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I wouldn't have kept kicking but I wasn't sure if you understood my plan."

Spencer raised his eyes to meet Hotch's and he saw the apology without the words, he recognized the pain, and Spencer shrugged a shoulder. "I knew the moment you moved the hostages out of my line of fire."

"I hope I didn't hurt you too badly."

This was what made Spencer actually laugh and he pressed his forehead to Hotch's and in that second he didn't really care if anyone caught them. It was a nice connection. "Aaron," he breathed, "I was a twelve-year-old child prodigy in a Las Vegas High School. You kick like a nine-year-old girl."

Hotch cleared his throat, and squeezed Spencer's shoulders. "I really am sorry," he repeated.

"The words hurt more."

"I didn't mean them. You are one of the most valuable members of the BAU with or without a gun."

It was nice to hear and he knew that Hotch didn't give false praise. "I know. I trust you."

Hotch surveyed their surroundings and then he placed a tender kiss to Spencer's forehead. "I better go move before I get us caught." Spencer smiled and tried to give Hotch his gun back. "Keep it. As far as I'm concerned, you passed."

oOo

A/N: That was actually really hard to write. I don't like ripping too much from the shows, but I had too on this otherwise it would have been all broken up. I hope this was what you wanted. XD


	9. Somebody

_**A/N: I hope Spencer isn't too OOC in this. But I had to soften him up and I've been wanting to write this scene for a while. So I hope it turned out well. **_

_**Somebody**_

_I been lookin' for someone__  
__Between the fire and the flame__  
__We're all lookin' for somethin'__  
__To ease the pain – Bryan Adams__  
_

Babies were terrifying, Spencer Reid decided. They were small and so fragile that Spencer was afraid to go near them. What if he dropped the baby? What if the baby hated him? The Reid Effect was pretty high up there and if dogs hated him then what about children?

Hotch's son was born exactly two weeks ago. He had been given the second week off, the first had been filled with an annoying Serial Killer targeting families on vacation. Spencer was happy for him which would surprise most people if they knew the extent of their growing relationship. But Spencer was not like most, he saw Hotch's love for his son and his heart warmed instantly, Hotch would be a good father.

Hotch had been adamant that he come by the hospital and Spencer could not have denied him support. He realized why Hotch wanted him there when he caught Haley glaring at her husband discreetly.

After two weeks one would question why exactly Spencer was still thinking about babies, and the answer to that happened to be when he awoke one morning to the sound of constant knocking. He had fallen sleep on the couch again as was usual when he was up all night reading the new indexes he had bought on EBay and when he answered the door he was stunned to see Hotch standing on his doorstep looking a little embarrassed and by his side was a dark blue and white car-seat.

Hotch didn't look like his usual self. His hair was more disheveled than Spencer's and he had the tell-tale signs of no sleep with the crows feet under his eyes. He was wearing sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt and they were wrinkled.

"Aaron!" Spencer pulled back letting the man into his cottage, thankful that he had thought to clean up the night before.

"I'm sorry for coming by unannounced," Hotch said softly.

"It's fine, are you alright?" Spencer's eyes fell on the sleeping infant and he smiled a little. He was quite cute, not as wrinkly as he was before.

"I don't know," his boss hung his head. "Haley woke up this morning throwing a fit. She wanted both of us out of her hair for a while."

"Ouch, make yourself comfortable. You want some coffee?" He quickly moved through the room and gathered up all his books, pens, and tablets and tossed them aside in a catch-all basket.

"Please."

Hotch sat Jack's car-seat on the couch and sagged down against one of the couch cushions. He surveyed the small living room with curiosity. It was exactly as he expected, there were books shelves from floor to ceiling and they were all crammed with volumes. It stretched around all four walls and only stopped when a desk was put between the shelves and a laptop lay closed on top of it.

It was comfortably lived in and there was a Roman numeral grandfather clock in one corner. It was well aged and cherry oak like the rest of the furniture. It wasn't clinically clean like Hotch might have expected, there were papers, books, and things strewn around in an amusing clutter.

The whole place smelled like sugary strong coffee, no surprise there.

It had been a long week with no sleep, running to and fro looking after both Haley and Jack. Strangely enough, Jack was easier to take care of than Haley. She did her part of course, she wasn't lazy or anything and she loved Jack but she was also used to having time to herself, which was the one thing that she was lacking.

Hotch was there at her beck and call and it seemed to make their relationship worse and it got to the point where Haley wanted them gone for the day and Hotch's first decision was Spencer's.

"How is he?" Spencer asked coming back through with two steaming mugs. He sat opposite of Hotch on the armchair.

"Thanks, and he's fine. Sleeping away for now, he'll be awake in about an hour. I rushed out of the house quickly. I didn't know where else to go. No one knows that Haley and I are having problems."

Spencer smiled a little. "You're welcome here. I'm glad you're here." He took a drink of his coffee as he tried to wake himself up. "Both of you," he clarified.

Hotch smiled truly. "Me too. I was unsure how you felt," he admitted glancing at his son. "You didn't say much at the hospital."

Spencer tilted his head and placed his coffee aside and moved from where he was sitting until he was next to Hotch. "I didn't say anything because I was scared that someone would see right through us," he said gently placing a hand on top of Hotch's. "You didn't need that. So I kept in the background. You always have my support, even before this."

Hotch twined their fingers together. "You mean that."

"Of course I do. We practically live with some of the best Profilers and there were times when we hadn't been very discreet with our interactions. I don't want to make things harder on you."

"I'm the one in the wrong here. I deserve it being harder on me. I'm married but I can't stay away from you. I've figured that much out now. I'm breaking so many rules. I swore to myself I wouldn't be anything less than loyal. I did not want to be like my father."

"You're not."

"He always had affairs and my mother was left to clean up all his messes. But I can't stay away from you. I don't _want_ too."

"Then don't," Spencer replied softly. "I'm not asking you for anything more."

"But it's growing and soon there will come a time when more is what we both need."

That was true, Spencer smiled and caressed Hotch's cheek. "You're tired."

"I know, I've slept very little. If I'm not taking care of Jack, I'm fighting with Haley."

Spencer responded with an affectionate kiss to Hotch's warm lips. The taste of coffee and natural flavors mixed between them and it was too easy to become lost within the other. Hotch pulled Spencer closer to him, his arms tightened possessively around the genius' slight frame.

Spencer opened his mouth accepting Hotch inside as the connection between them burned hotter. He hadn't realized that losing himself in the moment would cause him to be unaware of his body's movements because when they finally parted, he had managed to put himself in Hotch's lap.

That was weird, Spencer had never let go of his motor functions like that. He'd never been unaware of what he'd done.

Hotch chuckled softly and it was like he had read Spencer's mind. "I'm not going to complain." He was terribly relaxed now and he liked the fact that Spencer was in his lap and it was too cute because the young man was trying to figure out how he wound up there in first place.

"It just doesn't seem plausible that my mind doesn't register what my body is doing."

Hotch looped his arms around Spencer and he teasingly nibbled his bottom lip. "Oh, it knew what you were doing. It just didn't care enough to tell you."

"If you want, you can go lay down, and I'll be here. If he wakes, I can wake you. You're really tired and you need some sleep before we get called in on an emergency."

"I'm fine," Hotch insisted.

"You're lying."

"Yes, I'm lying. But I can't leave him here with you."

"You don't trust me?" Spencer asked frowning.

Hotch glared at Spencer. "It's not right to leave my son with you while I sleep."

"What's not right? You need sleep if you're going to keep functioning for your son. I'm wide awake now and have no plans. I'm just going to be sitting here and you're going to wind up asleep on my floor, which isn't very comfortable."

It was very tempting, he glanced over at his sleeping son. "He'll be awake soon and he needs to be fed."

Spencer thought about it and he wondered if he was going to regret what he was about to say. "Show me." Hotch looked at Spencer incredulously. "What?" he asked defensively. "You're tired and I want to help you. It's not that complicated, I'm sure. I can handle it."

Before Spencer could take back what he said, Hotch laughed out loud and he dropped a kiss on Spencer's forehead. "Okay, I'm not going to tease you. I'm just shocked is all."

After Spencer successfully made a bottle at the proper temperature and without melting the plastic, Spencer flinched when Hotch suggested that he hold Jack.

"Uh…"

"What? Are you afraid of him?" Hotch asked with a smirk as he unbuckled the seat.

"Kind of," Spencer confessed. "I mean, he's so small. I - I don't-"

"Spencer, it's okay."

"What about the Reid Effect? He'll hate me!"

"No child of mine could ever hate you," Hotch chided. "You see how I have him?"

"Yes," Spencer replied slowly.

"Come here."

"… okay."

It was terrifying and awkward, Hotch laid the infant in his arms and Spencer held his breath as he stared down at the sleeping bundle that whimpered. He was very warm and while he wasn't heavy he was kind of comforting in an odd scary way.

Hotch watched as Spencer slowly cottoned up to the idea and his tense shoulders began to relax. "You see. It's not very hard. He likes to be held when given his bottle, afterwards you need to pat him on the back, otherwise the gas will be trapped and he'll never get to sleep, oh and don't freak out if he spits up." When Hotch was sure Spencer had it under control, he leaned in and kissed him affectionately. "Thank you."

"No problem; the first door is the bedroom, second is the bathroom. That's all there is of this small place."

All Spencer could do when he sat down with Jack was stare at the infant wondering if he was doing the right thing by helping Hotch. What if he did it wrong? What if he… he shook his head and rubbed his eyes with his only free hand. He could do this, his IQ was 187, he should be able to handle an infant. He wasn't that stupid, he knew everything there was to know about pregnancies and all the steps from first stage to the very last.

He could recite the stages and everything that came with it with ease and he knew what they needed but he wasn't exactly sure if he could put his theory to work. What if he messed it all up? What if he accidentally hurt Jack without knowing it?

How did parents do it so naturally? In fact, how did his mom do it? Spencer's nose twitched, Jack smelled like potatoes and he supposed that it was the starch from the milk and baby powder. He was brought out of his racing thoughts and panicking questions when Jack began to stir and whimper.

Spencer's eyes went wide and he snatched the bottle that was still warm. "Here little guy," he said softly and placed the tip to the baby's mouth. That was all he needed because he clamped down on it and began to suck.

His eyes opened up and he seemed to look at Spencer while breathing deeply through his nose and never letting up on his bottle. His eyes were a shady blue at the moment due to the lack of pigment and he pretty sure that when he got older he would either gain Haley's eye color or his father's natural dark eyes.

He silently hoped for the latter, Jack already had the shape of his father's eyes, and he smiled.

"You know, you're kind of cute. I can get used to you."

The baby continued to stare at him and when he was halfway through with the bottle he slowly started to fall asleep, his eyes getting heavy and his mouth stopped moving.

Spencer wondered if he should take the bottle out now and burp him. Should he wake the baby up? He didn't know and decided not to tempt fate and snagged the blanket the baby came with and spread it across his shoulder and laid the infant across and began to pat while counting to thirty.

Talk about awkward, Spencer thought with a slight smile. Babies were so helpless and innocent, they couldn't do anything for themselves. It was sad to think how cruel some parents could be to something so small and defenseless. They trusted anyone and everyone implicitly and sometimes that trust could turn fatal.

This thought hurt Spencer more than he could imagine, a little person's life was in his hands. He was responsible for caring for Jack until his father woke.

Gently, Spencer laid baby Jack into his lap and covered him up. His heart warmed when Jack whimpered and shifted, his little hand flexed briefly before going back into its fisted ball and he slept on until he woke long enough for the rest of his bottle.

Maybe the Reid Effect could be broken? Or maybe Jack was just like his father. Either way it was nice, the experience added something new to Spencer's genius mind, something he was unable to describe yet.

Whatever it was, it was nice.

oOo

Hotch was very disoriented when he awoke next. He was in a bed and he could hardly remember how he got there. A familiar scent tickled his nose as he brushed across a pillow and then his eyes snapped open. Spencer.

He sat up fully and winced as his back cracked from the sudden movement. When he glanced at the clock he was horrified to see that he had slept five hours. He got up quickly, ignoring his pounding bladder and when he stumbled out of the room, he was shocked and awed when he saw Spencer stretched out on his side asleep and Jack was snuggled up in one arm, Spencer's hand was resting gently on the baby's chest protectively and his head was arched toward the baby's head.

Hotch stood there for a long time until his bladder was threatening to explode on him and he quickly went to relieve himself and wash his hands and face. His heart was pounding and his whole body was warm.

Seeing the sight of Spencer with Jack and both looking so incredibly peaceful brought a true smile to his face. Spencer could have woken him up after an hour but he hadn't. As he dried his hands there was a soft knock on the door.

Hotch opened it to see Spencer standing there wide-eyed and bushy-tailed from sleep and his in arms was Jack who was actually awake and seemed rather content where he was. He had a pacifier in his mouth. Apparently, Spencer had gotten smart and found it amongst the baby's things.

"You," Hotch breathed.

Spencer smiled. "You're four diapers short. I have a spare toothbrush in the cabinet if you want it. I also made a late lunch before I fell asleep."

"Thank you."

Spencer shook his head. "Don't thank me, your son is sweet," he said drawing the baby up his chest and snuggled him. "I wanted to help."

For the first time since Jack was born, Hotch felt relaxed and not so mixed with frustration and irritation. Of course, it wasn't Jack's fault. He was so innocent and he was the only reason that he hadn't gone crazy. Sometimes, Haley could just be too much. He didn't understand how it got like that.

The two of them hadn't discussed what to do, mainly because Hotch didn't want to stress her but he was quickly beginning to realize that being around each other all the time was not as good as it sounded in theory.

His scattered feelings and thoughts would need to be resolved soon. It wasn't fair to Spencer and it wasn't fair to Haley.

He'd have to make up his mind and he knew as followed behind Spencer that his choice was already made and he knew it would be the right one.

oOo

**Note: I'm debating on when or how to time-skip. I may write some of the Tribe I'm not sure, we'll see. Also, I think I'm going to up Hotch's divorce with his wife because I can't stand it much longer that Hotch is still married. It's driving me nuts. XD**


	10. With or Without You

_**A/N: The reason I post so fast is because I'm hoping I can have this story finished by January. I don't know what my schedule will be like then because I start school. We'll see. Thanks for the response! It's really helped me with this fandom. XD**_

_**With or Without You**_

_See the stone set in your eyes_

_See the thorn twist in your side_

_I wait for you.- U2_

As with everything good, there was always an end. JJ laid the next few weeks out for them all, flying back and forth from one place to another, fighting and solving case after case and still there was a mountain of files on her desk.

Having Jack and Aaron at his house was a very often occurrence when they weren't working. He'd even gone so far as to have them a key made so that they could seek shelter whenever they needed. It hadn't taken very long for him to get attached to Jack.

It seemed that Hotch had Jack every day that he didn't work. Spencer did his best to help as best as he could. He was quickly learning how tiring and yet fulfilling taking care of a baby was. To watch him grow.

It was an early afternoon and they were all resting from the massive workload they'd been given when Haley Hotchner stormed the BAU with a fury in her eyes, and now there was a very loud fight going on. Haley being the main source of the noise and poor Jack was along for the ride.

It hadn't been pretty, all of their co-workers ran for cover in either Garcia's office or JJ's. Even Gideon hid away in his office, but Spencer firmly remained, pretending to ignore the outburst while typing up his report on Walter Kern.

He wasn't trying to be rude or pry but he also wanted to be close enough to Hotch and offer him silent support. Spencer frowned, when he saw baby Jack. He was bundled up due to the weather outside being so cold. He was five months and growing quickly.

He wanted to get up and take Jack away from the scene but he didn't want to be rude or get yelled at by Haley. He shot Hotch a covert look and was surprised to see that he was staring at Spencer grimly.

Spencer debated on whether the idea was good or not to offer to take the baby for a few bit but hearing the distressed whimper to an outright cry from Jack made up Spencer's mind and was instantly up. The worst that could happen was getting hissed at by Hotch's wife.

To his surprise, Hotch understood his sudden movements and took Jack from Haley who was still demanding that he take his son and that she was tired, and she wanted some time alone.

"Thanks Reid."

"What are you doing?" Haley demanded of her husband. "Oh, I see, pawning him off on someone else now are we?"

Hotch shot her a disapproving look. "My co-workers are bad enough Haley, we don't need our son listening to this. Dr. Reid is very good with children. He can keep Jack occupied."

"I'll read to him," Spencer assured as he bounced the baby in his arms. "Hey there little Jack, how you doing, huh?"

The baby gurgled in recognition and his little fist whacked at Spencer's cheek.

Haley looked on in amazement. "Wow, he doesn't usually take to strangers."

Spencer gave her a little smile. "I'm usually referred to as Kid around here, that might have something to do with it."

She laughed softly and he noticed it was a real laugh. "Thank you."

"We'll just be over here," he assured turning away from the woman. He read all about these sorts of relationships where the couples were really very nice people but when they got around their significant others, nothing but bad blood boils.

Spencer talked softly with Jack, asking him how the little guy was from the last time he saw him, which was three days ago.

He sat comfortably in his chair and pulled a physics book from his bag. It might be complicated but there were pictures that he could look at it.

Spencer could feel Jack getting uncomfortable and he tugged the little beanie off his head and smiled. "Better?"

Jack only squealed and started hitting the book in front of him. He ignored his co-workers who slowly trickled out of their hiding spots and continued to read and talk with Jack who made squealing sounds of delight.

"Why do you have Hotch's kid?" Morgan asked dumbly.

"Either that or Jack listens to his mommy and daddy fighting," Spencer said quietly.

"That's so cute!" Elle said grinning. "I didn't know you were good with children."

"Me either."

"You're reading him a Physics book?" JJ asked incredulously.

Spencer shrugged. "Better than Goldilocks and the Three Bears."

"What's wrong with Goldilocks?" Elle asked affronted.

Spencer furrowed his eyebrow. "Do you want to teach your children to break into a stranger's house?"

"You're not serious!" Morgan barked in laughter.

"Very serious and I'm not talking about Grimm's Fairy Tales. The original Goldilocks and the Three Bears, she didn't run away." He placed his hands on Jack's ears. "She was eaten. Grimm's only make it worse."

"Remind me never to read my future children Goldilocks," Garcia squeaked.

Spencer bounced Jack lightly and continued to read and point to the pictures, Jack mimicked him with sounds of delight. He was also drooling, all that DNA running out of his mouth. But he didn't care and simply used his sleeve for the time being.

"Wow and I thought you were a clean freak," Elle said still staring at him like he had grown two heads.

What was so wrong with him holding a baby? Spencer wondered. "It's just a baby."

"Yeah, the same person who yelled at me for sneezing in the elevator the other day!" Morgan retorted.

Spencer rolled his eyes but didn't answer Morgan, because if he did, he might give away too much information that he knew his fellow Profilers would absorb like a sponge. No, it was best to keep just ignore them.

"So, reading him Physics are you trying to tell our boss something?" JJ asked sitting on his desk and smiling fondly at Spencer and Jack.

"Only that Jack rather likes the colors and shapes of Natural Science. Don't you?"

Jack squealed some more and Spencer instinctively held him closer.

There was a crash from Hotch's office causing everyone to whirl around as the door burst open and Haley stormed out furiously.

"Let Aaron have him for the day, Dr. Reid, I'm in no shape to take care of Jack." She nodded respectfully at Spencer and dropped a diaper bag onto his desk. "Thank you, I'm sorry," she said to the group of watchers.

When she was gone, Spencer cleared his throat, and stood with Jack in his arms. He was facing everyone with a gummy smile. He took the diaper bag in one hand and slung it over his shoulder and went up to Hotch's office to see the damage.

He didn't bother knocking and slipped through the room quietly to see Hotch with his head bowed and his hands hooked behind his head. The lamp that had been on the table was now in pieces and some of the blinds were ripped and strained. He closed the door as Jack squealed at the sight of his father and his legs began to kick.

Hotch looked up, his eyes glossy with emotion and distress, Spencer smiled gently and took a seat in front of Hotch's desk. He adjusted Jack and let the baby sit up against his chest and kept a steady head close to his face in case his head started bobbing too much.

"Thank you," Hotch whispered distantly.

"Stop," Spencer insisted with a shake of his head. "You know I love helping you with Jack. I knew it was a risk taking him but I couldn't let Jack see that."

"You really care for him," Hotch said smiling a little despite the situation.

"Of course I do. Your son has taught me a lot of things that I never understood." He looked down at Jack and grinned. "Didn't you Jack? You taught me things!"

Jack squealed in answer and kicked his feet out, his hands immediately going for the woolen socks in hopes of grasping his feet.

"Plus, he's a baby, so small and defenseless. He's pure innocence. I've already got your son started on Physics."

Hotch's features changed and they lit up, he chuckled lightly. "My son will be a Harvard student in no time."

Spencer scoffed. "Harvard? Just give me the signal and one call from me, Jack will be in Caltech."

Hotch rubbed his face tiredly. "Haley. Her sister couldn't baby-sit tonight, and she flew off the handle. Somehow I got blamed for it."

"I can help you, Aaron. If we have something that comes up, I can take off. You're needed more than I am."

"That's not true," Hotch rebuked.

"It is. Besides, I could always stick around here and Garcia can keep me updated. But I don't think we'll get anything more this late in the day."

Hotch clasped his hands together and stared at Jack. "Spencer, I'm filing for divorce. The only reason I didn't do it sooner was because I worried about Jack. I'm already gone a lot but if she took him completely, I don't know what would happen. I don't know how Haley will be able to take care of Jack and have the freedom that she's begging for. I don't want to be a callous man and make her leave. I want that to be her own doing." He grew more frustrated and he sat back with a heavy sigh.

"Do what you feel you need to do, Aaron," Spencer insisted. "I can't advise you because I'm way too emotionally involved. What I want to say, I shouldn't say, because of our relationship," he whispered when he said this.

Every word Spencer spoke made Hotch feel that much better. He got up from his seat and walked around the desk and didn't hesitate to kiss him sharply. He poured as much feeling as he could into the kiss, trying to convey his gratitude and emotions all in one.

"I'm not sure if I deserve you, Spence," Hotch murmured breathlessly.

Spencer adjusted Jack in his arms and lifted his hand to caress Hotch's cheek. "I don't think that's true. We both have a lot of baggage, Hotch. A lot of demons in our lives, mine have yet to surface."

"When they do, I won't leave you stranded," Hotch vowed.

Smiling, Spencer captured Hotch's lips in another slowly melting kiss, his fingers naturally carded through the back of the man's hair and opened up to him.

They only stopped when Jack whacked Hotch with his little hand making them laugh. Hotch peppered kisses to Jack's cheeks and forehead causing him to squeal uncontrollably.

"I think he's trying to tell you something."

"He's staking his claim. I believe you've become Jack's Spencer."

"Huh, I've never had anyone stake their claim… it's kind of nice."

Hotch chuckled and kissed Spencer's cheek. "Actually, you have, Doctor Reid, I've staked it."

"Good to know."

oOo

It'd been a while since Spencer had come into the coffee shop in the center of town. He'd been so busy lately and there never seemed to be enough time in the day. He stood in line with a book in his hand. He ignored the usual stares he received when he flicked the pages every couple of seconds. He was so engrossed in what he was reading that he hadn't heard the soft chuckle in front of him.

There was a tap on his shoulder causing him to look up swiftly.

"Sorry, I couldn't help but notice… are you really reading that?" He was a very good looking guy, no more than a year or so older than Spencer himself. He had ash blond hair and an earring in one ear. He was wearing a motorcycle jacket and had a helmet in the other.

He was the least type of person to actually ask him a question. "Ah, yes, yes I am," Spencer said with a slight smile. "The average person's conscious mind takes in sixteen bits a minute while the subconscious mind can take in twenty million."

The guy simply stared and Spencer blushed furiously. "Yes, I can read it this fast. In fact, I can read twenty-thousand words a minute." He ignored the muttering behind him.

"Damn! What are you? Some genius?"

"Mm… it's been said," Spencer replied.

"Oh, sorry, I'm being rude! The name's Sean." He held out his hand and Spencer smiled and took it.

"Spencer Reid. It's nice to meet you. You don't look like you're from around here."

"I am but I'm not. I used to live in DC but I moved away from the place the moment I smelled freedom. Actually, I'm here on business or rather family business." He cringed visibly.

"Sounds rough."

"Yeah, I have the misfortune of telling my brother that instead of going to Georgetown I've decided to bail and work in a low-class diner. It's going to be a thrill of fireworks," he said dryly.

Spencer absorbed what he said. "Why did you change direction?" he asked trying to understand it.

Sean laughed. "I've always wanted to be a chef. I guess I didn't want to disappoint my brother. But I'm tired of it, not like I ever talk to him anyway. He's always busy with work." He rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to start flapping my mouth. I'm a little nervous and irritated. Just ignore me."

"It's fine," Spencer said laughing a little. "Just think of it as a complimentary therapist session. I am a doctor after all."

Sean stared at him. "Jesus kid! You really are a genius! You can't be older than me!" he exclaimed.

"I'm twenty-four." Spencer blushed and bowed his head.

"That's what I thought. One year younger than me. Did you go to Harvard or something?"

"Caltech."

"Damn. Now I feel inadequate."

Spencer shook his head. "Just keep your direction. I'm sure your brother will understand. Don't let him know how nervous you are."

Sean laughed darkly. "That's impossible, the man reads people like a book. I'll never get anything past him."

Their conversation ceased when the lady at the counter asked for Sean's order.

"What are you drinking? I'll pay since you seemed to have counseled me in my pathetic life."

Spencer shook his head. "That's not necessary."

"I insist."

This was a weird experience, Spencer thought with a slight smile as he told Sean what he usually got. "Thanks." He took a handful of sugar packets and then another handful much to the amusement of his new-sort-of-friend. "Brain function," he quipped bashfully.

Sean laughed some more. "I like that."

"I'm a classic geek," Spencer admitted shrugging.

"There's nothing wrong with that. I look like-"

"Someone who would have stuffed me in a locker when I was in High School," Spencer finished for him.

Sean shook his head. "Nah, I don't bully."

"Yeah well, I was twelve in High School. Las Vegas was criminal if you were anything above average in intelligence."

"Ouch." Sean winced in sympathy and Spencer laughed.

"Well I have to go, I'm almost late for work. It was nice meeting you, Sean – er -?" Spencer held out his hand and Sean took it genially.

"Hotchner. Sean Hotchner."


	11. Follow You, Follow Me

_**A/N: Notice my updates are slowing down a bit. They'll still be frequent. The next chapter will focus solely on Hotch and Reid. The divorce will go through and all that but I wanted to use Sean as a good force around them.**_

_**Follow you, Follow Me**_

_Stay with me_

_My love I hope I'll always be_

_Right here by my side if ever I _

_Need you - Genesis_

The probability of an encounter such as this did not exist in Doctor Spencer Reid's world. He had taken out of the coffee shop at a brisk pace. His eyes unusually wide and his coffee completely forgotten. Several times, he would look over his shoulder as if he expected to Sean Hotchner to follow him.

How was it that of all the people from the BAU, he was the one who ran into Aaron's little brother? Statistically speaking it wasn't supposed to happen. For one, Spencer was not the most social person in the world and so someone like Penelope Garcia would have a better chance of running into Aaron's brother than _him_.

Couple that with the fact that Spencer was having somewhat of an affair with Aaron Hotchner? A married man and his boss, it just didn't add up.

As he drove off, he picked through the initial meeting of Sean and dissected it word for word, line for line, until he realized exactly what Sean had told him.

From what little he knew of Aaron's family, the one thing he did know was how the man had worked very hard to protect Sean and thus putting him in the role of a father. Sean was worried about what his brother would think when he confessed that he wasn't going to Georgetown.

Although, Spencer had to wonder what on earth possessed the young handsome man to give up an opportunity such as that. In Spencer's book Georgetown wasn't his top choice of schools but it was one of few in the country statistically speaking that was at the top, perhaps top ten.

Spencer's inner guide to colleges were a lot more complex than business statistics. He had always convinced himself that not all educators knew what they were talking about.

Spencer couldn't decide what to do. He was now sitting in the parking lot and debating whether to let the inevitable conversation play out or do something to try and help both Hotchner's. It was a tough decision because he didn't want to manipulate anyone but he also knew that Aaron didn't have much in the way of family, besides Jack there was Sean.

He sighed heavily as he took the elevator. It wasn't a good idea to keep what he knew from Aaron, holding back information would not be very nice so early on in their strange relationship. It'd been going on for five months and neither man knew where to move too because of technicalities.

There were times when they would sit together cuddled on Spencer's couch while Jack slept on in a playpen, but there hadn't been much talk about going further. Spencer's inner need sometimes reared up as did Aaron's but they kept their sexual contact to a bare minimum. Not because they were afraid of the consequences but because Aaron didn't want Spencer to be acknowledged as the other woman.

Spencer shudder at that thought. It was true, being considered a 'mistress' or the 'other woman' sounded grossly archaic. One, he was a man and very happy to be one and for another, Aaron wasn't the illicit affair kind of man. So kisses and hugs were good enough for now.

"Yo, Pretty Boy, gotchya head in the clouds there, dontchya?" Morgan teased catching him just inside the bullpen. "Who is she?"

Spencer froze at the question and blinked. "Huh? Nothing, I was thinking."

"Yeah, only reason a man would ever think that hard is because of another woman. So, she blonde? Or is she a subtle brunette, the kind all men love?"

"Morgan, contrary to popular belief not every guy thinks about women that often."

"Oh I know that! But usually, it's men who are ga-" Morgan stopped in his words and his eyes widened. "You're…"

"Don't say it," Spencer snapped. He was attempting not to panic at Morgan's sudden epiphany, he could have such a loud mouth at times. "I have more important things on my mind right now. I need to see Hotch." He left Morgan standing there wide-eyed and stunned.

When he was invited in, he smiled a little when he saw Aaron sitting at his desk rifling through a stack of files. "Good morning," Aaron looked up and his eyes sparkled with a life they hadn't had much before.

Spencer smiled weakly as he stood in front of Aaron's desk. He didn't say anything for a minute, he wasn't sure if he could. His mind was still rambling off the probability of running into Aaron's brother in such a random manner and proceeding to have a full length conversation about his problem which was coincidentally twined with Aaron's.

"What's wrong? You're unusually quiet and that's starting to scare me."

"It's just I'm still trying to understand the probability of the encounter I had today in my old coffee shop. I guess the statistics rise by a margin since I frequent the place often. But for _me _who is connected to you to run into-" He paused when Aaron stood and wrapped his arms around Spencer's slim body pulling him closer into his chest.

"What's wrong, Spencer?" he asked concernedly. "Did something happen?"

Spencer pressed a soft kiss to Aaron's lips and briefly both of them forgot about everything around them. He shivered as the desire coursed through him blindly. His fingers grazed the back of Hotch's short black hair and gripped a hold of him tighter.

It took a long time for them to actually pull apart and when they finally did they moved back in for more, until Spencer realized what he had come in here for. He placed his hands to Hotch's chest and forced himself back a few inches. "I…" he bit down on his swollen lip and sighed. "Look, Aaron, I ran into your brother at the coffee shop. He doesn't know who I am or where I even work – but he was really worried about you."

Aaron's eyebrows shot up at that. Of all the things he expected, Spencer running into Sean had not been one of them. "What did he say?"

"He started rambling to me, I guess the line was long, and he may have unintentionally told me something that I shouldn't really know."

"What? Is he alright? He's not hurt is he?"

Spencer sighed and shook his head. "He – he's coming here, I think. So I should warn you of that but he has something to tell you."

"Worried? Spencer you're not making any sense."

"I know because I'm reluctant to say anything and to interfere. Your brother doesn't want to go to Georgetown, he wants to be a Chef and he's worried that you're going to be angry. He seemed truly worried…" he had spoken so fast that it took Aaron a moment to register what he actually said.

"He what!" Hotch let go of Spencer, his eyes wide. "Why? Why would he do that? Does he have any idea how hard it was for me to get into law school? He has an opportunity of a lifetime!"

Spencer winced and carded a hand through his hair. "I guess he's just not interested, Aaron. It takes a lot to be an attorney."

"I went through it!"

"Yes, but you're Aaron Hotchner, a man who defies all odds. What he did say to me was that he wanted to be a chef and although I think that might be a good idea, I also believe he might be going about that the wrong way."

"Huh? How did you get this from him?"

Spencer shrugged. "I was reading in line and he was in front of me, he made a comment about my speed, and then asked if I was some kind of genius. We got to talking and he let it all slip. He's really worried, he may not tell you, but your opinion means everything to him."

Hotch closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Is he going to a culinary school?"

"I don't think so." Spencer winced when Hotch scowled. "Look, I told you because I had hoped that it would help and the initial shock would wear off by the time he got here. He has no idea who I am."

Hotch sat back in his seat tiredly and shook his head. "What do I do? This is insane! He's going to ruin his life. He always said he wanted to be an attorney like me. I did everything I could to help him."

"Our tastes change, Aaron," Spencer said softly. "Aaron, you know what it takes to survive in that sort of world and looking at Sean today, reading his behavior. He can't do it."

"What? You're saying he's not good enough?" Aaron snapped.

Spencer winced. "No," he sighed heavily. "That's not what I'm saying. What I'm telling you, you should already know. Very few people survive the political dog fight. It's all about manipulation and mind games. You either have it inside of you or you don't. I shouldn't have interfered, I should have kept quiet. I'm going to reheat my coffee." He knew it was just an excuse to run away before an argument broke out.

That was the last thing he wanted.

Hotch groaned when Spencer took out of his office in swift strides, that wasn't good. He bowed his head, he knew he shouldn't have snapped at Spencer like that. He hadn't meant too, it only came out. What the hell was Sean doing with his life? He was ruining it! Right? Spencer didn't seem to think so, he seemed to think that all Sean needed was the right kind of guidance.

It wasn't more than twenty minutes when he heard a commotion outside. He grabbed some paperwork and pretended to be busy. He knew that Sean was a handsome and very outgoing man and he easily drew attention from the opposite sex, he could only imagine Garcia's reaction. He was also charming and he always liked to do things his own way.

His mind ran through the conversation with Spencer and he sighed heavily when there was a knock on the door. "Come in," he called bracing himself for the inevitable.

Sean came in and he smirked. "Hey bro."

"Sean!" He put on a mask of surprise and stood quickly. "How you doing? It's been a long time!"

"Yeah, since Super Bowl." The man looked a little uncomfortable, he kept scratching at the back of his neck. A tell-tale sign of inner worry. "Look, Aaron, I – I don't want to go to Georgetown…" he began rambling off everything he had told Spencer.

Aaron tried to look shocked but even he couldn't pull it off. He was quiet for a moment.

"Wow, silence, this was not what I expected," Sean said frowning. "I expected a blowup really. I mean, I am flushing a dream down the toilet."

Aaron shoved his hands into his pockets and looked over at Sean. "I guess both of us are deviating from the norm." He was resisting sighing again. He'd been doing that far too much in few minutes.

Sean's eyebrows went up. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm getting a divorce." He decided to offer Sean something since the man had come to him, and he understood what Spencer was trying to tell him. Sean wanted his approval.

The shock registered very briefly before Sean chuckled softly. "I wondered when that would happen."

"What?" Now, Aaron was taken aback.

"You two don't connect. I never said anything because it's not my business. I like Haley, she's very friendly – to me. But she is the complete opposite of you. And why are you taking all this so calmly? I don't understand… you never offer anything up about your personal life. Hell, you wouldn't tell mom Haley was pregnant until Haley told her."

"That's true and the reason I'm not so surprised, I just got a wakeup call."

"I'm confused."

Aaron pulled out his phone and he texted Spencer to come into the office. "Maybe this will clear it up."

It wasn't five minutes that the door to his office slowly opened and Sean's eyes widened. "You!"

Spencer looked sheepish. "Sorry, Sean. You didn't ask for patient confidentiality."

"You work… you told him?" Sean had a look of betrayal on his face.

"You know how Aaron is," Spencer said with a quirk of his lip. "I hoped that if I told him ahead of time it would lessen the blow for the both of you. I'm sorry."

Sean rubbed pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. His head then snapped up and his eyes widened. "Oh shit."

Aaron sighed and Spencer looked confused. "What?"

"You called your boss, Aaron… oh… I see… you told him – ah. Okay." He nodded and then smirked in obvious amusement. "This is so much better to hear!"

"I'm not following?" Spencer looked worriedly at Aaron who had his arms crossed over his chest.

Sean cocked his head to the side and flashed his brother a look.

"Sean, don't make a spectacle of this. I am not divorcing Haley because of Spencer. I'm divorcing her because my eyes were opened. Neither of us are happy together."

"And the doctor makes you happy," Sean theorized. Aaron smiled truly at that and it was all Sean needed. "Oh I see…" he said nodding a little.

"But I still think you should try a culinary arts school. They have several really good ones in Washington D.C." Aaron insisted.

Sean grinned. "Hotchner brothers really are a messed up pair." Spencer saw him trying to evade Aaron's suggestions and wondered how many times he had tried that in the past and failed.

"Sean," Aaron glared mildly at his brother who was now chuckling outright.

"It was nice to see you again, Spencer. I'm not all that surprised, I think I like you way better than Haley. You understand him don't you?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"More or less," Spencer replied awkwardly. "But I still think you should give the idea of Culinary Arts a chance. You could still work where you do and hone your skills. It would be a good learning opportunity, you can't learn everything in one spot."

"You would know, huh?" Sean drawled. "Well, I can't say that I'm very happy about being ousted to my big brother, but I get it. I got an idea, how about the three of us have dinner at my place sometime this weekend or next? Unless you have a case, I can prove to you that I have what it takes to become a chef."

Aaron briefly looked to Spencer who had lit up at the invitation. He knew that Spencer didn't often get invites and he saw that the idea not only had merit where Spencer was concerned but himself.

"We'll be there."

Sean snagged a pen from Aaron's desk and wrote down the address to the diner he was working at. "It's a small mom and pops place, not exactly flashy or anything but the cook is a genius. I can learn a lot from him. Come by sometime, both of you. I could use the tips."

Aaron shook his head. "I'm not happy about this, but I think I understand."

"I can live with that. I better go, I think someone is trying to eavesdrop at the door." Sean clapped Spencer on the shoulder as he passed by. "Good luck, both of you."


	12. The Promise

_**The Promise**_

_If you need a friend_

_Don't look to a stranger_

_You know in the end_

_I'll always be there – When In Rome_

If there was any open hostility between the two, it was muted. Aaron knew he was asking a lot. But he rather hoped that she would see reason. Haley was staring at him, and it was as if she were waiting for him to retract the request.

But he didn't bat an eyelash.

"You want Jack." It wasn't a question. It was a statement and it was said in the flattest tone Aaron had ever heard. "How?"

"To be honest, Haley, I'm not sure. But I'll make it work. I'll figure out a way. I always do."

"Like you figured out a way to spend time with me?" Haley snarked. "Oh wait, you never did."

Aaron wasn't falling for her taciturn mood and simply sat at the dining table across from her. There was a dozen or so papers spread out on the surface. He threaded his fingers together and placed them on top of the table and waited patiently for her to get it out of her system.

"We could come to some sort of arrangement where you can see Jack whenever you wish. It is true, I am gone quite a lot. But there are times when I can stay back and work from the office."

"You never wanted to do that before," Haley said coolly. "You were always gone, rarely ever home. You didn't want to be home."

"I guess I didn't," Aaron finally admitted.

"You didn't want to make the effort with just me involved." Aaron didn't agree or disagree. But the answer was there and it was hanging thickly in the air. "You would get the house."

"Unless you wanted it."

Haley glared. "What would I need a whole house for?" she scowled visibly. "If you take Jack there is no need for me to have such a huge house and a mortgage on top of that."

"I'm willing to pay for you," Aaron said honestly. It was the least he could do.

Her eyes narrowed. "Think I can't take care of myself?" she snapped.

"Not really," Aaron confessed and Haley reared back in her seat as if she'd been slapped across the face. "But I would like to be proven wrong. However, I'm not a bastard of a man who is going to leave his soon-to-be ex-wife with nothing. I don't want this to be a hateful divorce," he said plainly. "Neither of us get along. We are worse now together than ever. You resent me and I think I've figured out why."

She sneered. "Do tell."

Aaron remembered his conversation last night with Spencer. The words had been truthful and they hadn't hurt quite as bad as he thought it would. It actually made perfect sense. "You see me as your father. I've taken care of you ever since we met. I never gave up on that and in my heart I never will. But the fact that you see me as someone you detest but deep down still love. It drives you away from me. I know I can be a control freak and things have to be a certain way. It was how I was raised. I always took charge of every situation because I had too and you were no different. You resent me because you've had to go all your adult life depending on me, and I wasn't able to always be there. I suppose I have neglected you more than I should have. I am sorry."

Her eyes dilated in understanding and her shoulders sagged. She pulled the documents close. "I'll take Jack when you're working. But, you should have custody. It's the least I can do." Her tone was quiet and apologetic. She didn't have to say the exact words but he knew that she was sorry. "Jack is happier with you anyway. It's my fault for feeling so much resentment. Perhaps some time away will make our hearts grow fonder. I love Jack, I really do, and that's why I'm giving him to you. He deserves to be with the one he loves most."

"He loves us the same, Haley."

"Oh please." Haley rolled her eyes. "That's not true. He rarely ever cries when he's in your arms. I gave birth to him, but you nurtured him in a way that I didn't. I'm hoping I can fix that in the future. But first, I need to learn to be independent."

"We both have a lot of learning to do, Haley. I think it's for the best. I want the best for you, and despite everything I will always care for you."

"I know, Aaron," she replied remorsefully. She took the stack of papers and signed each dotted line, finalizing it all.

It was strange; some people would feel fury, and some would feel sad. But for Aaron Hotchner, a humongous weight seemed to have lifted off his shoulders and he suddenly felt light. He gazed around the room in sudden wonder.

"I have a friend who wants me to move in with them," Haley said biting her lip. "I – I've been seeing him the last couple of months, Aaron."

"Your professor." He was not at all surprised, Spencer had warned him of this. Aaron was actually a little relieved. It made him feel less like an asshole.

Haley flinched. "How did you?"

"Haley, I'm a Profiler. You saw him a year or so ago. When you went out for dinner."

Her shoulders sagged. "I'm sorry."

Aaron shook his head. "I'm not exactly innocent either."

Her head snapped up, shocked as she was to hear his confession. "What? When?"

"A few months back. I've never slept with anyone while we were married," he assured sincerely. "But, when I leave here, I'm not always at the BAU."

She nodded in understanding but she still had no words. He could see the mixed emotions; the sudden flash of jealousy and hurt. But she obviously knew that she too wasn't innocent.

"I guess this is it."

"Yeah, it is. I'll make everything work out somehow. I always do."

oOo

The clock was ticking away the seconds until it turned into minutes and soon morphed into an hour. Spencer laid there under a plethora of covers wide awake, for some reason he had been unable to fall asleep. Not even Mozart could put him into a slumber and he had turned it off halfway through one of his favorite symphonies.

He wondered why his mind refused to give into the need for rest. It was like his subconscious mind was telling me something but he couldn't quite hold onto the tether of information before it slipped from his mental grip. His mind had always been a very scary place to venture into; he always knew that without any hint of narcissism that he, Doctor Spencer Reid had the involuntary makings of an Unsub if he allowed it.

His whole disconnection with other people's emotions scared even him at times. He knew by the way he said things, he sounded like a heartless insane genius. But knowing that, Spencer was also the aware of the fact that his strange little family at the BAU had filled an emotionless void in his life.

Most importantly, Aaron Hotchner and baby Jack by proxy. They made him feel more than he had ever felt in his life and it was becoming less and less fearful to venture into the web of knowledge he had. He wondered if his mother ever felt anything like this?

A thread of longing shot its way through the core of Spencer's entire being and he shifted a little as he tried to find a comfortable position and quell down the overflowing desire that had been a little hard to handle.

Lately, whenever he looked at Aaron, he had the distinct feeling of a teenage boy in high school with hormones that went out of control. It was distracting and disconcerting on a whole new level.

His area of thought was interrupted by a familiar knock on the door. Spencer's heart instantly leapt for joy as he pushed the covers back and crawled out of the bed. He wondered why Aaron was even bothering to knock, the man had a key. He could just let himself in.

He got to the door and quickly undid the locks and when he thrust it open, his heart literally melted at the sight of Aaron standing there with Jack asleep across his chest and shoulder. Before Spencer could say anything, one free arm curled around his waist before him stepped into the room and he was filled with an intense kiss that brought out all of Spencer's inner desires.

Being careful not to wake Jack, Spencer pulled his partner into the warmth of the house, while still connected and closed the door.

"Why did you knock?" Spencer asked gaining his thought process back. Sometimes, it was _hard_ to think when Aaron kissed him.

"It's late. I didn't want to scare you."

"Not that I mind that you're here, but what are you doing out so late?"

"I didn't want to be alone. The papers were signed today, Haley took a small bag with her and left."

"You got custody of Jack so easily?" Spencer asked taking the blue bag from Aaron's shoulder.

He shifted Jack carefully and removed the jacket and beanie from his head. Spencer helped him by taking off his little shoes. "How did you get him in these?"

Aaron grinned, remembering all the fits that Jack had when it came to shoes. "He was asleep, I snuck them on." He gently laid his son down into the playpen.

The child twitched and squirmed as Spencer laid a small blanket over his body.

"I thought you had to go through lawyers and courts."

"It was uncontested. Neither of us wanted a big show down," Aaron came up behind Spencer, his chest pressing into the slim frame of his back. "We didn't want to be alone tonight in that big house."

Spencer shivered when Aaron's hot breath slid along his neck line and up to his ear. "Hn… Aaron?"

"I just want to touch you."

A raging hungry need swept through Spencer as he spun around and crushed his lips to Aaron's. His long slim fingers pulled at the fabric of his shirt until they could slide effortlessly underneath, his tips met flesh, making their encounter more fiery and scalding to touch.

One by one bits and pieces of clothing were thrown and Spencer was pushed down onto the couch. He pulled Aaron down with him. Spencer gasped and struggled to keep quiet when Aaron continued to kiss and then nibbled down on his lower lip, chin, cheek, and back to his neck. A flood of desire caused Spencer's breathing to kick up and he moaned before he could muffle it when Aaron bit down on his collarbone.

That was definitely one of Spencer's more sensitive areas, he decided. If they didn't stop or move, Spencer could not be responsible for waking up Jack.

"Aaron, we should take this to the room." It took a lot to speak, his lips were swollen and bruised red, his body was covered in goose bumps and it didn't help that his hips were pinned down by Aaron's hips, and the friction was driving him insane.

"Should we?" Aaron grinned slyly and raised up fractionally to see Spencer looking up at him. "I like this."

"I… I do too," Spencer stammered with a little blush. "But – ah – I don't want to wake your son."

"I only want to feel you." He dipped down and sank his tongue into Spencer's slightly open mouth and the reaction was instant. He moaned again when Aaron's hips teasingly rolled sending a jolt of pleasure from his groin straight through the rest of him. "I've wanted to touch you ever since we first kissed. But it wasn't right. I didn't want to take advantage of you."

Spencer choked and he leaned up on his elbows and kissed Aaron softly. "Why would touching me take advantage of me? I'm not a kid."

Aaron smiled and pressed a kiss to Spencer's forehead. "I know but you are worth too much to me, Spencer. I want you in my life, _our_ life. I want you to be a part of us. I would be dishonoring you if we were together before I divorced. I want our relationship to work and I did not want it to start wrong."

Spencer nodded, the high of desire had simmered in him now but he didn't feel cold. Not like he had before Aaron. In fact, he felt warmer and more secure. "You really mean that."

"I do. I want you not only in my bed, Spencer. But, I want you beside me, and I don't care about the rules in the BAU and I don't care what anyone else would think. All I care about is in this room."

Spencer bit his lip and glanced over at Jack's sleeping form. He could barely see the little figure through the net walls of the playpen. "Well, Jack does have me wrapped around his little finger. So, I suppose taking you too will have to do." He flashed a smile and Aaron chuckled and pulled Spencer in for a hug.

"Thank you, Spencer." Aaron buried his face into Spencer's neck. "For everything. You've put up with a lot. Most people wouldn't."

Spencer smiled. "I'm not most people. I'm very complicated."

"And I like a challenge."

oOo

A/N: By now I would have usually had them jump into a sexual relationship because I love constant chemistry between my pairings. But I am still trying to learn these characters. Sorry if it's a bit slow going for some of you. I want to write their relationship properly. Once I'm more comfortable with this fandom, my writing style will change to something much easier for me to deal with. XD Thank you!


	13. You Are the One

**_Spoilers_** for Machismo

_**You Are The One**_

_You are the one_

_You'll never be alone again_

_You're more than in my head - you're more_

_Shiny Toy Guns_

Spencer moved through the dark cottage with practiced ease, he was getting very comfortable waking at odd times of the night. It was a three day weekend, both Spencer and Aaron had asked for it off. If anyone noticed this odd occurrence they said nothing and for that Spencer was relieved.

One thing that had been noticed was how often his friend Morgan was watching him. He knew that if anyone would figure him out it was Derek Morgan. He lifted the whimpering infant into his arms and brushed a soft kiss to his forehead.

Jack settled down at the attention, trusting Spencer to know what he needed and when he needed it. He flipped open the refrigerator and pulled one of three awaiting bottles out of the side door and heated it up. It was really strange having little Jack in his life. He was a sweet handful, Spencer had decided. He wondered briefly why Haley would have been so easy going about giving Aaron custody. He'd never met her personally but he knew enough about her to medically profile her.

It was obvious that she was suffering from some inner demon and having Aaron around only fed that inner demon until all she saw around her was something that she couldn't be around. She had a distorted reality that everything should be done her way and any other way was simply unthinkable.

Jack's eyes were open wide and he was staring up at Spencer who had him cradled in his arms and bottle held in his left hand.

"What are you looking at?" Spencer asked with a smile. Jack's small hand slapped Spencer's fingers with awareness. "You're hand is small." He lifted one finger from the bottle and chuckled when Jack latched onto it. His feet was kicking with brief excitement. "Did you know that at the moment, your hand strength is equal to a small child because of repetitive use? It's your strongest muscle right now."

Jack's eyes slowly fell close, he was breathing deeply through his nose and making funny noises. When Jack was finished and his little back rubbed and patted enough to keep the gas from building up, Spencer placed him back in his bed. He paused in the doorway of the bedroom and watched as Aaron continued to sleep on in peaceful oblivion.

He was lying on his back and the sheet covered his lower half, he was shirtless and one hand was stretched out across Spencer's usual resting spot. He glanced briefly at the calendar on the wall, it was the second of November.

Aaron's birthday.

Spencer already had a gift. He'd ordered it a week ago and it had come in yesterday. He moved through the room seamlessly and quietly slipped onto the end of the bed and he continued to watch, taking in each miniscule feature that he could.

It was three days ago that Aaron signed the divorce papers and at one time, Spencer would feel a little guilty about all of it, if it had not been for the fact that Aaron Hotchner was happy.

How Spencer knew? Ever since the papers were signed, Aaron's serious and stern demeanor had lessened immensely. He didn't look so stressed and the worry lines around the man's dark eyes diminished. Right now, Aaron looked peaceful and carefree, something that Spencer hadn't seen since they went to the Rossi seminar.

Aaron shifted in his sleep, feeling as if something was missing and when he reached a hand out to where Spencer was supposed to be, he met nothing but a warm bed and pillow. His eyes snapped open instantly.

"Go back to sleep. I'm right here."

Aaron blinked repeatedly. "Spence?" He tilted his head and saw Spencer sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I just fed Jack. I came in and started thinking."

"That's what woke me. You think really loud." Aaron held out his hand and Spencer grinned.

"I've been told." He placed his hand into Aaron's and laughed outright when Aaron weakly tugged him closer. "Happy Birthday." Spencer's arm slipped around Aaron and he dipped down to kiss him lovingly.

"I like waking like this," Aaron said caressing Spencer's youthful face. "You're gorgeous."

Spencer rolled his eyes, his cheeks staining with color. "Ha ha, very funny."

"Come on, you know what I think of you."

"Yeah well, I'm not used to compliments."

Aaron arched an eyebrow. "Morgan calls you Pretty Boy."

"That's just a joke."

"No, it's true. You are a Pretty Boy."

Spencer groaned. "Not you too. It's five thirty in the morning. You should still be asleep."

"Not without you. I like you next to me."

Spencer shifted and laid down beside Aaron, he shimmied under the covers and linked their legs together. Aaron turned on his side and the two laid there staring at one another without a single word being said.

Spencer placed a soft chaste kiss to Aaron's lips and was rewarded with a tug on his waist until he was practically on top of Aaron.

"I like this birthday."

Spencer's took advantage of the situation and ran his hand down Aaron's chest and circled the man's naval tauntingly. "How can I get you to love this birthday?"

Aaron shuddered when Spencer's fingers teased him. "I already do. I feel like for once, I don't have to pretend to enjoy the day. I just want to be with you and Jack."

"You got it."

"I was always forced to go to her mother's or her sisters for a party. She never realized that I spend all day around people and live activity. I just want to relax."

Spencer rested his cheek against Aaron's bare chest, his fingers continuing to dance around his stomach and chest. He listened to Aaron and mentally counted his heart beats.

When the two of them were finally up after dawn, Aaron was sitting in the floor playing with Jack who kept making loud squealing noises. They were both still wearing what they slept in and Spencer was making breakfast. When they sat down for breakfast, Jack was sitting in a swing between Aaron and Spencer sucking on a pacifier. It was a comfortable sitting and Aaron was telling him stories about when he had been younger. All the good parts of it anyway, how Sean would always surprise him for mornings by jumping on the bed and how his mother always made a homemade cake that would beat out any bakery in town.

Spencer liked hearing it, he liked learning more about the man outside of the office.

"I didn't know you could cook," Aaron said curiously.

Spencer grinned. "Despite my mother having her illness, she was always a great cook. She loved making Indian food, which is one of my favorites. I learned a lot from her, we had a ton of cook books in the house. So when she wasn't reading Jane Austen to me or Jane Eyre, she would sometimes read out her favorite recipes and ask me to make them for her when she got older. On her good days, she was almost normal, and it was easy to temporarily forget about her bad days."

"Sounds like you took care of your mother."

"I did until it got to the point where I couldn't handle it anymore. I was eighteen and I had no choice but to make the decision to having her admitted. I felt so guilty for what I had to do."

"You did everything you could."

"Sometimes, I wonder if it was enough. I guess I hope that one day she'll forgive me."

Aaron placed his hand over top of Spencer's and smiled. "I'm sure she does. I don't know her, but from what you've told me. You were the only one to take care of her."

"I haven't seen her since," he said sadly. "Even when I'm in town, I'll drop a book off or something but I am so scared to make that step."

"We have vacation coming up soon, perhaps we should take advantage of that."

Spencer bit his lower lip. "Maybe, I don't know if I have the courage."

"You will, I'll help."

After breakfast, Spencer took the dishes to the sink. Aaron insisted on doing the dishes but Spencer tapped his hand and nudged him out of the way. "Nope, I have something for you. Come with me." He pulled Aaron from the kitchen. Jack was fast asleep in his swing, pacifier hanging half-out of his mouth causing Aaron to chuckle and take it before it fell on the floor.

"Here." Spencer picked something up from behind one of his many gadgets and handed it to him. "Happy Birthday."

Aaron stared at him in shock. "You didn't have too."

"I – I know, but I wanted too. I hope you like it. I've never really had anyone to buy a present for. It was kind of nice."

Aaron understood the meaning behind Spencer's soft nervous words and he kissed the young doctor. "Thank you."

It was a brand new watch but more interestingly enough it was encrusted with pearls and the hands were small and brittle and they glittered in the overhead lights. "I thought of your son, Jack. His birthday is in June. I was going to use Alexandrite but it seemed to gaudy."

"It's perfect. I love it," Aaron said grinning. He'd already said thank you, so saying it again would be redundant.

Spencer blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Did you know the Pearl gem is of unsurpassed beauty and elegance. Ancient civilizations had many stories to explain the origin of June's birthstone, such as the Greek belief that pearls were the hardened tears of joy that the goddess of love shook from her eyes as she was born from the sea. According to Arab legend, pearls were formed when oysters were lured from the depths of the ocean by the beautiful moon and then swallowed moonlit dewdrops. Also the Chinese-" he was cut off abruptly by a sudden kiss that caused him to forget everything he had been talking about.

Aaron chuckled against Spencer. "You don't have to be nervous."

"Was I that transparent?"

"You started talking about folklore of the Pearl and as much as I'd like to hear about it from those lips of yours. I'd rather kiss them."

"Why didn't you just say so?"

"How could I?" Aaron leaned for another kiss, this one more deeper and meaningful than the abrupt 'hush-up-Spencer' one he'd given before.

Immediately, Spencer melted against Aaron and they probably would have remained like that if it hadn't been for Spencer and Aaron's cell phone ringing at the same time. They broke contact and looked at them, before sighing a little.

Spencer made sure to pick his up to see Morgan's name on the ID. "Morgan."

"Gideon," Aaron replied pressing the talk.

oOo

Spencer winced when Aaron slid back into the car and slammed the door a little too hard. His glare was pinpointed on his ex-sister-in-law's house. He backed out a little faster than he needed to and Spencer was thankful for the seatbelt and kept the statistics of fatal accidents while backing out of a driveway without paying any attention, to himself.

He knew that Haley probably gave him a real good grinder and of all days, it had to be his birthday. Instead of saying anything that might make the situation worse, he twined his fingers with Aaron's and squeezed them lightly.

Aaron breathed out deeply and stopped at a red-light and brought his hand from the steering wheel and rubbed his forehead. "I'm sorry."

"Don't," Spencer rebuked. "Just let it out."

"She thinks even after the papers were signed that she can play house and it didn't help that it was two to one. She starts questioning me about who's in the car and then scorning me because I have a case. She started laughing and telling me that I couldn't handle full custody. She told me I preferred my job over Jack."

"That isn't true. You've spent more time with Jack in the last few days than anyone. You've backed out on two separate cases."

"She doesn't see it that way."

"Who cares what she sees," Spencer scowled. "I mean, you stayed behind when we had to go Manhattan and deal with a vigilante who had gone too far! Then I stayed behind when that Serial Killer was going after that celebrity girl."

"I didn't even bother telling her. She wouldn't care. She just wants to be right all the time."

"Too bad for her, not everyone's right."

"Thank you." Aaron felt considerably more light-hearted than he had five minutes ago. It was a good thing too, because they had just turned into the BAU.

"Any time, Aaron," Spencer leaned in and kissed him briefly. "Let's go see what we've got."

If anyone noticed their simultaneous presence or the fact that they had arrived together in one car, they didn't speak of it. They met in the conference room and took seats in the spares as JJ handed out files to each of the agents.

"Allende Del Sol, Mexico. A population of twenty-thousand, famous for tourism." Everything went downhill from there.

A disgusting sexual sadist targeting elderly women in the worst of ways. Gideon was one-hundred percent sure that it was the start of something even worse than expected.

"Wheels up in thirty," Aaron slammed the file shut and stared at it with a sickened expression.

Once they were all comfortable on the plane, Aaron and Spencer were sitting side by side with JJ and Morgan in front of them.

Elle and Gideon were off to the side and they were already pouring over the files even before the plane got into the air.

Spencer's knee was shaking a bit. He really needed some coffee, but they'd been in a hurry to board and he hadn't had time to get a cup. He was feeling a little jumpy and Aaron couldn't help but notice it. He was trying not to laugh. Spencer was hilarious when he didn't have his coffee.

When everyone was busy conversing except for them, Aaron gazed over at Spencer and resisted smiling. "Want me to get you a cup?" he asked softly.

"Please? I'm afraid of moving that I'm going to knock everything over." He was an utter klutz half the time but it became worse when he had no coffee whatsoever to level him out.

"You're an addict."

Spencer had the childish idea to stick his tongue out but instead, he pouted slightly. "Maybe I am, but a high functioning one."

"Right."

As Aaron got up, Spencer found Morgan staring at him hard. To his relief, he was the only one who seemed to notice them. Spencer looked away from the man's sharpened eyes and stared out the window for no real reason other than evading Derek Morgan's stare. He did not feel like having the man asking questions in front of everyone else.

When Aaron came back, Spencer breathed silently in relief.

"Thanks," he said taking the cup and the entire dispenser of sugar. He loaded it down and Aaron had to place his hand over his mouth to keep from doing something very 'un-Hotch' like snickering.

"So why are there so few Serial Killers in Mexico?" JJ asked curiously.

Aaron tilted his head at the question and Spencer was thankful for the distraction. "They probably have as many as we do. But they document almost none of them."

"Why not?"

"Chikatilo syndrome," Gideon replied glancing up over the file.

"The what?"

"Andrei Chikatilo," Spencer answered casually. "One of the most prolific serial killers of the twentieth century. By the time they found him, he had killed over fifty people."

"It was harder to catch him because he lived in the Ukraine and they believed that Serial Killers were a uniquely American phenomenon."

"He was a cannibal and he preferred them young. He started later in life than most Serial Killers," Spencer informed.

Elle looked disgusted. Morgan sighed. "The things people do to each other, it never ceases to amaze me."

Aaron and Gideon answered most of JJ's questions about Serial Killers in Mexico with Spencer jumping in every now and then with odd facts here and there. The ride was comfortable except for Morgan's stray gaze. Spencer knew he was on his road to figuring things out that he shouldn't and he wondered if he should let Morgan's thoughts take their course or hedge them off.

No one in the BAU knew anything about Aaron's divorce from his wife. They probably suspected one in the near future due to the fight they had inside of the BAU but otherwise, they were clueless. Spencer preferred it that way, being around Profilers all day was a hard job, especially when your life went under scrutiny.

"Ever been to Mexico for your birthday, Hotch?" Morgan asked.

Aaron shook his head. "No."

"Not in the doghouse are you?" he teased and Aaron resisted the urge to growl at Morgan and tell him to stay out of his business. He glanced once at Spencer before looking back at Morgan.

"Haley and I got a divorce."

Gideon started. "What?"

JJ's eyes widened. "When?"

"Three days ago," Aaron answered.

Everyone had sympathy and apologetic comments to give out except for Gideon, who was staring at Aaron as if trying to see underneath the underneath.

"It was my decision," Aaron said over top of all the condolences and whatnot. "I wanted the divorce. Things weren't working out and they hadn't been for years. It was best for the both of us."

Gideon seemed satisfied with that and then smiled. "Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Nice watch by the way," he commented offhandedly.

Spencer had to put his bad acting skills to the test to keep from reacting as everyone's eyes slid to Aaron's wrist.

"Wow, that is beautiful. It looks like pearls," JJ said leaning forward to get a better look.

"It is, Jack's birthstone."

It didn't take a genius to see that everyone was itching to ask who got it for him. Obviously, it wasn't Haley because Aaron looked too fondly at the piece of jewelry, but Spencer did feel Gideon's curious gaze and he flinched just a little underneath it and it didn't help that Morgan went back to staring at him like he had two heads.

Elle looked like she was about to ask something that was potentially explosive but Aaron quickly said in his stern 'Hotch' voice. "I think that's enough about my personal life. Let's get back to the file."

As they time passed, everyone separated in an attempt to get some much needed rest. Spencer stretched his legs out and propped them up where JJ had been sitting and Aaron did the same where Morgan had been.

The two men exchanged glances as the lights were turned down. It was a three and a half hour plane ride but no one expected to sleep much once they arrived in Mexico.

"What should we tell them?" Spencer asked quietly.

"Nothing. Let them keep guessing," Aaron said with a smirk.

Spencer huffed. "You know it's going to be me that everyone's going to question? They're too afraid of you."

"Perks of being the boss," Aaron drawled. "I was thinking of slowly letting them find out one by one and without telling them."

"You owe me." Spencer deadpanned.

"I'll pay up by giving you my shoulder to sleep on. You know it'll be fun to see their faces."

As much fun as it was to see their reactions, he would be completely exposed to the flames of questions. The young doctor grumbled. "You will owe me big time." He slouched down in his seat and then pressed his head to Aaron's shoulder. Elle started when she saw them and Spencer closed his eyes. "You do know this is like dangling a kitten in front of a pack of wolves."

Aaron used his blanket to hide his wide grin. "Are you saying you're the kitten?"

"Since you all seem inclined to call me Pretty Boy, then yes."

"Well, if you're the kitten and these are pack wolves, I'm the Alpha and what I say goes."

Spencer had a very childish idea of slapping his forehead but he resisted and instead he snickered. "Great, I have the eyes of the Alpha. I'm doomed."

When Aaron couldn't hold it in anymore he busted out chuckling causing everyone to look over and Spencer to groan and tug Aaron's cover away to hide his face. Spencer resisted laughing himself when he heard Morgan's distinct.

"What the hell?"

oOo

A/N: This chapter could have easily gone on for another 2k words. But I ended it here to keep with the flow of small chapters. It's easier and faster for me to write and I can have them up in no time. XD It's a win-win situation. I think I'm going to have fun with the BAU members. In every story I have ever read, the BAU members have fun with Hotch/Reid or whoever is together. But this time, I think our couple should have some fun. XD


	14. 1234

**1234**

_1234, tell me that you love me more_

_sleepless long nights_

_that is what my youth was for – Feist _

_**Morgan**_

Things were becoming really weird, Derek Morgan thought. What the hell was going on? He tried putting his Profiler skills to use but every time he tried, he came up with nothing. His eyes fell on the partially sleeping forms of his boss and the Kid. They were two very different people and Derek Morgan had prided himself on being one of Spencer's few friends.

He thought the kid could come to him for anything. Derek hoped that he had made himself open enough at the least. But obviously not. So, what the hell was going on?

As he looked around him, he realized that no one else knew anything. They were all as confused as Derek felt. JJ was frowning a little, as she should be. Derek thought it had been obvious that Spencer had a crush on her. It'd been so cute to see him get flustered around her. But something was totally off on this. His strict, uptight Unit Chief, Aaron Hotchner was cozying up to the youngest member of the BAU.

He was also laughing and that was frightening on a whole new level.

He couldn't quite let himself believe that there was something going on between them. No, he wouldn't let himself believe that because it was impossible. Right?

In all honesty, he could see his Pretty Boy friend being bisexual. He had thought it was strange how someone so young was so unaware of the female world around him. But Hotchner? He was an Alpha male if Derek ever saw one, unless there was something in this equation that he was missing.

How did this even happen? He knew it didn't start inside the BAU. It couldn't have, they were all damn good at their jobs and they saw no hint of any budding relationship between Hotch and Reid. He tried to think back to all the bits and pieces between them but the memory was murky. He did know that the two had taken the same three day weekend, and they did show up at the same time to the BAU.

He glanced over at Gideon who wasn't paying any attention to them at all. Did he know? Nothing ever escaped a man like Jason Gideon, things like that just didn't happen. He was as close to Hotch as Derek was to Reid. So what the hell?

Elle looked as if she'd swallowed something sharp. She was staring at Hotch and Reid and didn't even think to look away out of respect.

It was obvious that something was going on. He didn't want to believe it, because it was just so out of character. It was weird. What were the chances of Reid and Hotch? He then froze when his memory took him back to the fight between Haley and Hotch at the BAU and how nervous little Reid had gotten some courage to take their son away from the fighting.

Derek had applauded Spencer at the time for seeing the potential damage it could have done to the baby. But now that he looked back, he realized that Spencer had taken Jack like the baby was his and the child had reacted to him like he would any parent.

What the hell? He thought for the thousandth time. He couldn't get over it, were they seeing each other before Hotch and Haley's divorce? That bothered Derek on a whole new level, he didn't want to think ill of his friend. Reid could be very naïve without knowing it and this made Derek's eyes narrow.

Perhaps this was Hotch's fault. He was the stronger one of the two, and Derek knew that he was the one in control.

Glancing at the two again, he noticed how comfortable they were in the presence of one another. He could see a faint blush on Reid's cheeks as if Hotch was silently teasing him.

Whatever it was, Derek Morgan was going to find out.

oOo

_**JJ**_

She was no profiler, she was a liaison between the FBI and the media. But she had also gained a lot of knowledge during her time at the BAU. She'd picked up everyone's quirks and she had a woman's intuition about a lot of things. But _this_ had gone way over her head.

If JJ was being honest with herself, she would have to say she had been a little disappointed when Spence had given her the tickets and told her to go with anyone she wanted because he was busy that night. She liked him because he brought an innocent quality to the BAU that everyone needed. He was their kid brother with a brilliantly amazing mind.

He was the type of person who could do anything in this world and yet he chose to work with the FBI. He chose to put his intelligence to use to catch the bad guys. Spencer Reid could have been a billionaire before his twenty-first birthday. But he chose another route. JJ had always admired him for that. He had a strong ironclad will to do right by everyone and he was socially inept which JJ had always thought was adorable.

But when she saw what the rest of her team had, she could not believe it. Hotch and Spence? Hotch and _her_ Spence? Her cute little prodigy boy was sitting comfortably and leaning against the stern harsh Alpha male of the BAU?

One quick glance to Morgan told JJ that he hadn't known and she could see that he was shifting from annoyance to curiosity ending with a little bit of hurt that Spence hadn't told him.

Morgan didn't have very many friends, not ones he trusted anyway, and so she understood completely. But she wondered what she was missing and how she missed it. She was sure that Morgan was asking himself this same question.

She had noticed their timely arrival and had noticed that Spence seemed so comfortable with baby Jack. It was unbelievable because when they all went to the hospital to see Hotch and the baby, Spence had kept his distance. But perhaps he kept his distance for more reasons than she was aware.

Perhaps her inner hope of Spence always being naïve had shattered some time ago and now she was seeing through rose colored lenses. Hotch didn't seem like the type of man who would have an affair on his wife. Even if they weren't getting along, she just couldn't see him with another lover.

Especially a man. Not that she had a problem with it, inwardly she thought it was very cute. To her they complimented each other, but what bugged her was the idea of Hotch and Spence together before the divorce. She didn't want to point fingers and she knew it as none of her business, she was only a concerned friend.

She blinked when she saw Hotch's fingers brush across Spencer's fingers in the most gentle of ways and then sliding them under the shared blanket. What was she missing in this equation? She kept asking herself.

JJ looked to Morgan again who was trying to remain covert and then Elle who was still staring at them. She liked Elle a lot, but sometimes, Elle's opinions were too strong and one-sided. She wasn't emotionally attached to anyone at the BAU. But she was always attached to the cases, especially if they revolved around sexual crimes.

Gideon didn't seem to be paying any attention at all, but JJ knew that was far from true. Jason Gideon knew something and whatever he seemed to know didn't bother him in the least.

It was shocking to see the two together, and she wondered why they were being so suddenly obvious about it without telling them. Maybe it had something to do with Strauss or maybe they decided to make a game out of it?

But Hotch and Spence didn't seem the type to play games, unless she didn't know them as well as she thought she had.

oOo

_**Elle**_

No way, this couldn't be real. She had to be seeing things. Hotch and Reid? That's not possible! She couldn't take her eyes off them even if she wanted too. There was just no way. She blinked a few times and hoped that she was seeing things but her focus was right on them and it was clear, too clear. She saw their tiny actions toward one another and then their reactions. They were comfortable, like they had been in that situation before.

How? When? Elle was a damn good profiler, she had earned her merits! This was not happening, Hotch was not gay. He was straight. She had been so positive about that and to be honest, when she had heard Hotch divorced Haley, Elle was inwardly thrilled, hoping upon hope that she might have a chance sometime in the distant future.

She had envied Haley more than anyone could know. Hotch was a straight out good man. He gave his all to everything he did and he never took crap from anyone. He was direct and harsh but deep down he always seemed to worry about his family.

Hotch was a very private man and the few things she had been able to gather from his life had been enough to give her a High School type crush on her boss. But she knew that there was no fraternizing with co-workers. If there had been, she might have already given Morgan a chance. He was her favorite out of everyone and Reid happened to be her least favorite.

He was a sweet guy but he was so weird. He talked about sex crimes and sadists like they were fascinating and it bugged her on a whole new level. Whenever she was trying to tell Hotch or Gideon something, he would jump in with some statistics, easily taking over her findings. Where she had to dig for answers, Reid already had them in his head.

She knew that he didn't mean it and she felt bad for feeling so jaded. Reid was a good kid, but that's all he was to her. _A kid_ and inwardly she didn't think he belonged but she knew that telling that to anyone in the BAU would be lethal.

Morgan held Reid like a brother and so did JJ and Gideon was like Reid's father. He was surrounded by protectors and she never thought that Hotch fell into that category. He had always acted so uncaring when it came to Reid. How had she not seen it?

She flinched a little when she saw Hotch touch Reid's fingers. They were sharing a blanket and they looked peaceful. How could they be so peaceful looking when they were heading to Mexico where a sexual sadist was targeting elderly women? They needed to get in the game! It was very unprofessional and she longed to say something.

But as the words edged toward the tip of her tongue, she became tongue-tied, and all she could do was sit there and gape like a fish. She knew it was as unprofessional as Hotch and Reid looked, but she couldn't help it.

She didn't believe for one second that the two were together. It had to be some kind of joke. There was no other explanation and she wouldn't except any other unless she had solid proof.

oOo

_**Gideon**_

At first, concern was all he felt. Jason Gideon liked to think of himself as an optimist in a room full of pessimists. He had noticed the chemistry from the day he hired Reid. Hotch had not only been amazed by Reid's intelligence but he also coveted the fact that Reid could be so innocent underneath everything he saw.

Gideon had been awed as well and he knew that given enough experience that Doctor Spencer Reid would become the most notorious FBI Profiler in history. He could surpass everyone given enough training. He loved watching Reid grow, he was like a son and Hotch was his best friend.

He knew for a long time that Haley and Hotch were often on the outs. He knew that their relationship would come to an end in the near future and all one of them needed was a little push. Something around them to open their eyes to the damage they were doing to one another.

He liked Haley, she was a sweet girl. Hotch was a good man and he took care of her as best as he could. But he knew that there was something broken, a small hairline fracture that would only get worse as time went on.

It was apparent that in the past few months, the youngest agent to ever enter the BAU opened Hotch's eyes to what the reality of life. From what he wanted to what he needed.

He had been visibly surprised by the announcement of the divorce, but he had also understood something that his fellow agents had not.

He understood both Reid and Hotch on a personal level. All they saw was what they wanted to see, because of the close proximity in which everyone worked together.

Hotch was not an adulterer and Reid was not what others would describe as the other man. He saw the forming relationship but he also saw the building chemistry. He could see it right now. It was getting stronger and stronger. There had been no sexual contact between the two, because if there had, the chemistry would have simmered.

Gideon wasn't worried about their relationship affecting their job. Hotch was too professional about it and Reid was always working hard to prove his worth. All it did was give the other members of the BAU a wakeup call and Gideon couldn't wait to see how it all played out.

They were like little teenagers when it came to gossip and Gideon was tired of playing the grandfather. He'd sit this out and simply watch. It would give them all some light in a world filled with darkness.

oOo

A/N: I hope I managed to keep them IC. I wrote the little vignettes of the agents because I myself am trying to learn to write them for future reference. So if you could tell me how I did, that'd be great. XD I thought the song fit perfectly with the four other agents. Thank you to all the readers/reviewers out there! This has been a lot of fun to write so far and as long as it continues to be fun, I'll keep writing.


	15. Love Walks In

_**!Warning!: STRONG Sexual Content ahead. Please be aware, this is WHY I have an M rating. When I write sexual scenes I often go way too far. There will be sexual content throughout the rest of the fic. But I will NOT write first time sex. I hate writing it and I have never been able to do it justice. It'll be overshadowed XD**_

_**Love Walks In**_

_And then you sense a change_

_Nothin' feels the same_

_All your dreams are strange_

_Love comes walkin' in_ –

_Van Halen_

Deflection had never been Spencer's strong point, but he was learning quickly exactly how to deflect all pointed questions. Whenever someone came up to Spencer intent on interrogating him, he professionally stepped into Gideon or Aaron's aura and used them as buffers. It worked every time.

Somehow, Penelope Garcia had gotten wind of their unique interactions, and she was on the hunt like a cat looking for its long-lost mouse.

Spencer feared that he had become the inevitable mouse and often times, she would sneak up on him causing him to squeak like one.

It was very humiliating.

Amongst all of this there was something growing deeply inside of Spencer and it was getting to the point of explosion. He could feel the heat and the embers were not helping any. Every time he looked at Aaron and every time the man reacted harshly to the potential Unsub's it made the embers grow hotter until he could literally see tendrils of flames.

He knew that Aaron was afraid of moving too fast and he understood, he really did. But if he had to sleep another night in the same bed as Aaron, he would not be responsible for his actions. Spencer huffed silently as he entered the break room and made himself some sweet coffee. Aaron was acting like Spencer was a virgin and he needed to be wooed.

Well, he wasn't and he didn't need to be wooed. It was frustrating on a whole new level. Aaron was still only partially Spencer's and it wasn't complete. Not yet anyway.

He had the distinct feeling that Aaron was waiting for something and Spencer wasn't sure if he wanted to know what that something was. But he was getting tired of it. He was craving Aaron more and more by the day and it was beginning to drive him insane.

Deciding a course of action, Spencer smirked and walked out of the break room with his coffee in hand. He cast his gaze around the room to see that Morgan was gone, he was likely in Garcia's lair and Elle was in JJ's office.

He took advantage of the empty bullpen and went up to Aaron's office and knocked lightly. "Come in."

Spencer slipped into the room and arched an eyebrow at all the paperwork. "You look stressed."

"A little, I'm trying to sign everything off so that our entire department can have a two week vacation. So much red-tape."

Spencer pressed his back to the door until it snapped closed. "Do you have time for a break?"

Aaron smiled. "Come here," he commanded lightly.

Spencer moved behind Aaron and curled his arms around the man's neck and softly kissed him on the cheek and neck. "No one's doing anything out there. Morgan is in Garcia's lair and Elle's with JJ. I felt lonely."

"We can't have that now. I promised to never leave you alone." He ran a firm but affectionate hand along Spencer's slim arm.

"That's right. You did promise." Spencer buried his face into Aaron's neck and nibbled against the skin making his Unit Leader shiver.

Aaron groaned quietly and closed his eyes and mentally followed Spencer's long fingers that were dancing across his chest sensually. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

"I might be." He nipped Aaron's ear causing a hiss. "Is it working?"

"Are you saying I'm stubborn?"

Spencer laughed as he ran his fingers through Aaron's dark hair getting a relaxed sigh. "I never said anything of the sort. Although, if you don't step up, Mr. Control, I'm going to have too."

Aaron chuckled and reached back to snag Spencer's wrist and pulled him around and tugged him down onto his lap. Spencer squeaked at the action making Aaron grin slyly. "Is this what you wanted?"

"Close enough," the young doctor replied tilting his head back for a long drawn out kiss. It was much more heavier and saturated with intent than it ever had been before. The tighter Aaron held him, the deeper he delved until their tongues were warring for control and everything around them dissolved leaving them entirely consumed.

Spencer's teeth grazed Aaron's bottom lip sensually and he shuddered when strong hands slid down his back and hooked into the belt loops of his pants. Spencer licked Aaron's chin suggestively and gripped the older man by his hair, desperately searching for more until the war gave them a sexual shock. Spencer shifted his position until he was straddling Aaron's legs and he pressed their hardened groins together to get a pleasurable reaction.

Aaron had never witnessed Spencer get so aggressive and he grunted with desire when his lover's slim hips rolled experimentally causing their cocks to rub against the fabric of their pants and each other. He had half a mind to rip Spencer's clothes off his body and turn him over the desk and have his way with him.

His hands were moving before he could register what was happening and one by one buttons were being undone and fingers were searching and teasing the heated flesh that had been denied for too long.

Spencer pulled back panting a little. "I'm tired of waiting, Aaron. This is your fault," he purred and Aaron was jerked out of reality and into an alternate universe at the fiery gaze of one Spencer Reid drenched in lust and he shuddered when his hands were taken and planted firmly to the chair. "Do. Not. Move."

He shuddered and jerked a little when Spencer's hands ran down his bare chest. How did his shirt get ripped open? He blinked repeatedly as he gazed around the office, anyone could come through that door, but his coherent thoughts slipped away from him when Spencer slipped elegantly between his parted knees.

Long slim medically precise fingers raked down his chest and then paused tauntingly on his belt.

"Spencer…" Aaron breathed.

Spencer smirked. "Maybe this will teach you a lesson," he said sultrily and Aaron struggled with words when the tent of his pants were stroked and squeezed.

"Spencer… not here… you know…" but he was cut off when Spencer leaned up and bit down on his neck and flicked his tongue across the sensitive skin while continually stroking him until his breathing was heavy, labored, and his hands were clenched in fists.

"Something you want to say, Aaron?" Spencer asked bringing his mouth up for fire drenched kiss.

He couldn't find any words to respond with, they'd all disappeared when his sexually tensed body froze at the nimble fingers that began to tug at the zipper on his pants. He knew he should pull Spencer's hands away, knew he should not allow this to happen. He was at work and he was a professional… he had worked so hard… _oh God_!

Aaron choked and his face flooded with red heat when Spencer settled comfortably onto the floor, one hand caressing his thighs while the other… Aaron groaned a little too loudly. He brought one of his clenched hands to his mouth and bit down on the knuckle in hopes of keeping silent.

It was easily the sexiest thing that Aaron had ever seen in his entire life, and his hips bucked when Spencer pulled the length of his cock out and took him whole, swallowing Aaron down as far as he could go.

"Fuck…" Aaron hissed. He was overcome with sharp jabs of pleasure intensifying his arousal. His eyes watered and his body trembled, and he became a slave and out of control.

He was in Spencer's hands, letting it go as the fire that had been brewing inside of him spread through his body. "Oh… God… Spencer…" He couldn't have closed his eyes if he wanted to, he watched that beautiful mouth, so experienced with statistics and information that came from the rarest of book volumes. Aaron had been mislead, believing in Spencer's innocence and now, he was being punished for that belief.

It took no time at all for Aaron to lose absolute control, he gasped out harshly and took hold of Spencer's hair and tried to pull him up and out of the way but Spencer ignored him and went down again and this time, he gagged himself at the base of Aaron's cock; his mouth muscles molested the older man until his come was releasing and every single drop spilled into that beautiful mouth leaving him to moan at the sight, and he shivered some more when Spencer's big brown eyes peered up at him from underneath long lashes. His lips were stained with Aaron's seed.

"My God…"

"Close enough," Spencer drawled bringing the back of his hand to his mouth. It was a little strong but it was Aaron in his mouth, all of that DNA was now inside of him. To most people it would sound disgusting but Spencer was never a normal person. He was after all a genius and he often went too far on everything.

"You… you… beautiful…" Aaron choked.

Spencer swallowed what was in his mouth in reflex. His cheeks were a little red, he had never done anything so spontaneous. He was also a little breathless from the sexual high that he was still on, unlike Aaron who was now staring at Spencer with an indescribable look. "I'd apologize, but I have nothing to apologize for. You ignored me."

"I… I did not. I didn't want to pressure you!" Aaron spluttered.

Spencer scowled and Aaron leaned forward with a chuckle, he gathered Spencer up gently in his arms and brought him forward for a very thorough and meaningful kiss. He rather liked the taste of himself inside of Spencer's mouth. It was one of the purest forms of intimacy and having all claim to the young beautiful doctor.

"God, Spencer… do you have any idea how I feel about you?" Aaron asked pulling back fractionally. "Did you think I didn't want you or something?"

Spencer bit his lower lip like he always did, Aaron shook his head, and pressed his thumb against the younger man's chin to stop the biting. "I didn't think so, really, but we've been together for almost six months."

"And I did not want to pressure you. Do you have any idea how many times I wanted to take you? Even when I was married I had to fight that urge. I didn't want you to believe that all I wanted was a good fuck. I wanted you to know how much I cared about you, how much I needed you. I suppose I went the long way about it. Spencer, I'm falling in love with you and I don't want to let you go. I don't want to make any mistake that might make me lose you."

"Mistakes are a part of life, Aaron. But you're not going to lose me unless you tell me to my face that you don't want me anymore. _That_ is the only way."

"I want you to always be in my life. I want you in my life and in Jack's. He's so young and he already loves you. I want you to be part of his life, permanently. I want you there with him, for him, and for me."

Spencer stared at Aaron in shock. "Aaron, I fell in love with Jack the day I held him."

"You are mine and tonight, I'll show you how much you belong to me, and seducing me in my office is a good way to go about it."

Laughing shyly, Spencer buried his face into Aaron's chest. He shifted to find a more comfortable spot on the man's lap and continued snickering. "I had to do something. I've always been extreme whenever I set out to do something."

"I like the extreme Doctor Reid," Aaron confessed placing his chin on top of Spencer's soft brown head.

By the time they got home, both men were very sexually driven. But Spencer made him wait a half hour longer which was total agony. Aaron lay there on the bed half naked simply thinking about what Spencer looked like in the shower all naked and soaped up. It caused his his already sexually wired body to react and he glared down at the tent of his boxers.

His eyes narrowed when Spencer came out with a big fluffy white towel around his body. Spencer could really be a tease, Aaron didn't think he'd ever seen a man more beautiful, and he didn't mean beauty in a girly sort of way.

No, Spencer was anything but feminine. He was a man; a beautiful, tall, and slim man with a nice ass and thin wiry muscles along his chest and arms. He was perfect, like one of those Greek Gods that Aaron often heard Spencer talking about.

When the young doctor went for his boxers, Aaron shook his head. "Don't," he growled lowly. "There's no need to get dressed when I'm going to rip them off." He threw his legs over the side of the bed and ripped the towel right from Spencer's grip and pulled him close. "Perfect." Spencer squeaked having almost forgotten how aggressive Aaron could be. "I owe you from earlier today. I owe you a lot."

Spencer had nothing smart to say to that and although he felt a little exposed, he felt more comfortable with Aaron than he had with any of his previous partners and he quickly fell under Aaron's spell, trusting him completely.

oOo

A/N: I believe I will end this particular story after I do Fisher King I and II. However, I'll pick it back up with a new story and do Season 2. I don't like having tons and tons of chapters on one story. It looks strange to me. I think smaller and compact, easy to read is best for everyone. Don't worry thought, the story won't be finished. I'm going to keep going. I think there'll be 20 Chapters in this particular story.


	16. Father Figure

spoilers: **Secrets and Lies Episode**

_**Father Figure**_

_That's all you wanted, something special _

_someone sacred in your life_

_Just for one moment, to be warm and naked_

_At my side – George Michael_

Sex is famous for changing the dynamics of a relationship. It can go one of two ways, the first it can form an even tighter bond making the relationship stronger and the bond thicker, and other times it can shred what little connection there was until there was nothing left.

Waking up in strong warm arms told Spencer everything he needed to know. The heat was nice and the touch of bare skin to skin was even better. He shifted onto his side and slid a free arm across Aaron's bare chest. He could feel the soft fuzz of the hair that spread lightly across his chest. Not much, but it was enough to be attractive. Sometime within the night their legs had gotten tangled together and somehow the two had slept peacefully that way. It was still late or early however you wanted to look at it.

Spencer was used to waking at all hours of the night because of Jack. He had a better time-clock than Aaron because at times the man would work himself into physical and mental exhaustion. It was roughly one o' clock in the in the morning, they had fallen asleep sometime around ten-thirty from sexual exhaustion and he should not be wide awake by all accounts, but being so close to Aaron had woke him up with a slightly hungry stir.

Never in all of Spencer's life had he ever felt so happy. He'd been content, every degree he mastered and every book he read made him content. When he was hired on at the BAU, he could have been considered happy, but it was a long stretch to what he was feeling now. Perhaps it was more of a complete feeling. The one thing he had never understood, was the feeling of being complete.

Now he did.

He shifted closer and winced as a vibrating sharp pain ran down his spine. There was no doubt about the pain, he'd been taken way too many times last night to be healthy, but Spencer would not have changed it for anything. He gently placed his cheek to Aaron's chest and he smiled when he heard the sound of Aaron's beating heart. A steady staccato rhythm and he counted silently as his fingers traced the smooth muscled surface of the man's stomach, he bit down on his lip when Aaron's heart rate kicked up at the touch. He ran down and circled his naval and the small trail of hair that led further under the thin coverlet.

He could feel Aaron slowly waking up and he snickered when there was a low moan of awareness.

"Hm, morning," Aaron's voice was husky and thick with sleep. Spencer raised his head with a bright cheerful smile, Aaron sighed contentedly as he ran a hand across Spencer's soft cheek. "I like waking up to your smile," he confessed. "It makes me happy."

"Good, because you're going to have to put up with the smile for quite some time."

"When you smile, it means I've done something right." Aaron gave him a slow close-mouthed kiss and groaned when Spencer's hand slipped further under the covers and wrapped around his morning erection.

A long time ago, Aaron had taught himself control over the morning reaction. Haley had never liked waking up to him like that. She always thought he had some perverted thoughts rolling around in his head. She didn't understand that it was simply blood flowing in such a relaxed sleep position.

But when he started sleeping at Spencer's, all that control had slipped away. There had been times at night when Spencer's slim build would push against his frame in search of warmth and it would stir his hormones causing more than blood-flow to take place.

He groaned again when the bed creaked at Spencer's light weight and he breathed sharply when slim legs slid over his chest and he was mounted by a very naked and beautiful body.

Spencer dipped his head down and kissed Aaron slowly and sensually. "We have a couple hours before work."

"Mm… we do, don't we?" Aaron hissed when Spencer slid down their bare cocks rubbing tauntingly together.

Spencer shuddered and slipped a free hand under Aaron's pillow and pulled out the familiar white tube. "Were you trying to tell me something when you left it there?"

Aaron clutched Spencer's sides and cursed out when his nipple was bitten erotically. "_Maybe_." He was struggling to speak. It was so hard, especially with Spencer sitting on him like some sultry young male model.

He moved one hand from Spencer's hip and curled it around his cock. "What do you want?"

"Whatever you want to give me," came the response. He shuddered when the cool clear liquid was layered over him.

"Are you – stretched?"

"You had me so many times last night…" Spencer trailed off with a musical moan as he slid onto Aaron's rock-hard length.

"You had me twice, something I've never let anyone do," Aaron ground out.

"And I loved every second of it." Spencer licked Aaron's chin and pulled the covers over their bodies as they moved together. "I'm happy you trust me so."

"With my life." After that, Aaron couldn't form anything more coherent than a few swear words and sexual words of admiration.

It was the only time that Spencer didn't blush at being called beautiful.

Afterwards they lay in bed tangled together talking about the upcoming week. Aaron was taking some days off so that he could devote his time to Jack and Spencer was suggesting places he could go that was baby friendly.

Spencer was lying on his back and Aaron was propped up on his side, one hand touching Spencer's chest while the other was pressed into the side of his head.

"Move in with me," Aaron requested suddenly. Spencer blinked for a moment, wondering if he had understood properly. Chuckling, Aaron shook Spencer out of his thoughts. "Hey, stop thinking so much. Your mind is scary at times."

"_Me_?" Spencer asked like a child in shock.

"No, the pillow under your head. _Yes! You! _What do you say? It has a lot of room, all three of us together. We'll have everything we need and Jack can be there permanently once we're settled, and I can work from home in the office if I have too."

"We can take turns, you're needed more than me."

Aaron grinned. "So is that a yes?"

"Why not? We sleep together every night. I'm sure Jack would be pleased to get back into his own crib. But what about…" Spencer winced thinking of Haley.

"Don't you worry about her. The house is mine, she moved out while we were in Mexico. She has nothing to do with us."

"When our vacation starts, I need to see my mom. I'm not sure if I can make that step though. I'm a chicken when it comes to that. I always fear that I'll walk in there and she'll either not recognize me or she'll recognize me and tell me how much she hates me for putting her there."

"I think I can spare a couple days and go with you. Haley wants to take Jack to her mother's in Norfolk for the weekend. I think she's doing it to spite me, really. She didn't expect me to stay back from cases and work from home or the office. She doesn't like to be proven wrong."

"I'd like her to meet you. If there is one thing my mother has always approved of, it was my sexuality. On her normal days, she always told me that no girl was good enough. It was one of the few compliments she would give me."

"I've never been in a sexual relationship with a man, but when I was in school, I experimented. But, back then when my father was still alive, if I was anything other than straight, he would have beat it out of me."

Spencer winced. "I became averse to girls when I was young. I mean, I find some attractive but when it comes to connection, it was broken a long time ago. I always believed however, that I could have been bisexual if there had been girls at school that acted like JJ. But there never was and I don't really want to know."

"You're perfect the way you are, and your mother was right. A girl couldn't handle you." Aaron kissed him on the forehead affectionately.

"It's one-thirty in the morning and you're asking me to move in with you," Spencer pointed out.

"I guess I am. I've not felt this energized at one-thirty in a very long time. Maybe now we can get back to sleep."

"We should really get cleaned up. Your DNA is running out of me."

Aaron choked in laughter. His eyes glittered and he shook his head. "Only you can make that sound so strange. I was thinking it was hot, you laying there in my come."

Spencer's eyes fluttered, he was starting to feel a little heavy with sleep. A listless smile spread across his face.

Aaron shifted back down, resting his arm over Spencer's head when there was a shrill ring from Aaron's work cell startling the both of them.

Spencer reached for the cell since it was closest to him and he handed it Aaron as he settled back to close his eyes once more.

"Hotch," his lover answered sternly. "Hey Gideon."

Spencer's eyes reopened for the second time. What on earth was Gideon calling them at one-thirty? He frowned when Aaron moved off him completely and sat up.

"I see..." He looked over at Spencer and motioned for him to get up. "Yeah, I'll be right there..." he paused and then rolled his eyes. "I'll tell him too." When he hung up, Spencer was going for his robe but Aaron shook his head. "Get dressed."

"What's going on?"

"He didn't say over the phone. He knew you were with me."

Spencer blushed. "No surprise there, Gideon knows everything. So, why are we going into work at two o' clock in the morning?" He was already moving to his closet of clothes and Aaron was almost tranquilized by watching him move so elegantly without a stitch of clothing on.

"He didn't say, he feared wire taps into the phone. He just told us to be there."

"Can I get a quick shower? I'm a little - you know!"

Aaron grinned and pressed a kiss to Spencer's pouty lips. "Go on and hurry. We'll ride together. I'll make some coffee."

Despite the odd hour, Spencer really liked waking up with Aaron.

As Spencer jumped into the shower, Aaron slipped into the bathroom for quick relief and to wash his face and brush his teeth.

"Why would Gideon still be at the office?"

"He's worse than me, you should know that," Aaron said after spitting out a foam of paste. "He sounded pretty grim and serious. There was someone on the other end, I didn't recognize him."

Spencer shut off the water and snatched a clean towel from the hanger as he stepped out. He winced a few times at his movements. His butt was really sore now.

After a quick brush, Spencer slipped his clothes on, and followed Aaron out of the bathroom where two piping hot cups of coffee was waiting for them.

"Yours," Aaron handed him the one loaded down with milk and sugar.

They got to the BAU in a record of ten minutes, there was hardly any traffic on the road and when they got out, they were met by a couple men in crisp black suits.

Aaron and Spencer exchanged looks. "It's the CIA."

Aaron merely nodded, but said nothing as they were escorted toward the elevator. They were earlier than other teammates and when they arrived at their floor, Gideon met them with a grim smile.

Aaron was introduced to several members of the CIA. Spencer hung back listening. It was definitely not good news.

It took a matter of no time for everyone to gather around their usual table with the difference of CIA members standing in doorway.

Spencer placed his bag down and crossed a leg over his knee. Aaron stood at the head with Gideon hanging off to the side looking even more worried than he usually did.

Morgan was the only one who had noticed Spencer's early arrival and arched an eyebrow at the young doctor who pretended to not notice.

Aaron laid everything out with Gideon filling in some of the blanks. As usual when terrorists were involved it was sick but what was worse knowing that there was a mole. Spencer added what he knew about the suspects and arrangement of the brutal torture/murder.

Soon, they were all being transferred to the CIA and everything on them was to be confiscated from cell phones to guns. It was an amazing place, Spencer never thought he'd ever see the federal building that housed the CIA.

Everyone was a suspect, including the man who called on them. As they got settled into their temporary conference room, Gideon began his own subliminal profile. It took them everything they had to outmaneuver the CIA. Aaron watched over Spencer's dealings with one of the suspects and glowered silently. An IQ of 197 his ass. He'd bet on Spencer any day.

He did not like the way the rat faced man talked to Spencer. He'd never allow his agents to talk to others like that unless there was a specific reason.

Later on that morning, Spencer was refilling his coffee and thinking about the difference in the BAU unit and the CIA unit. No salary spike could ever tempt him into changing professions.

"Your cup is about to overflow," Aaron remarked reaching out to take it.

Spencer sighed. "I was just thinking." He smiled when Aaron handed him the sugar dispenser. "There is nothing in the world that could make me leave the BAU. Everyone here is a sociopath in the making. All of them are liars and potential traitors. Is it always like this?"

"The higher up on the food chain the more likely betrayal becomes an inevitable part of life."

"And a mother and children are caught in the crossfire." He shook his head.

"But you're right. We are lucky, the BAU has one thing that most units don't have." Spencer gazed up at his lover. "Empathy."

If they weren't being watched so carefully, Spencer would lean over and kiss Aaron. But even standing so close caused eyebrows to raise.

When it was over and all was said and done, everyone headed out of the federal building mumbling about their lovely beds at home. Even Spencer was feeling the exhaustion, three hours of sleep and an entire night devoted to sex and then working with the CIA, and after all that, Spencer's butt was still hurting.

Morgan caught Spencer by the shoulder. "Hey, I wanna talk to you, now."

Aaron glanced once at Spencer to make sure he was alright with it before nodding. "I'll be waiting, _Spencer_." He emphasized his lover's name causing Morgan's eyes to narrow a little.

When they briefly alone, Morgan cleared his throat. "What is going on with you? I thought we were friends."

"We are," Spencer said and crossing his arms protectively.

"Then why the sudden evasion? What is up with you and Hotch?"

"I like my personal life to stay personal, Morgan."

"Yeah but… he's married!"

"_Was_," Spencer corrected. "I'm aware that he was married, and I never did anything unlawful while he was married and neither did he." Except small kisses here and there but that didn't count. They had no sexual contact until yesterday. But he wasn't going to tell Morgan that.

"How? When were you going to tell me you preferred guys?"

Spencer shrugged. "I don't know. It comes with my past, Morgan. I'm used to keeping everything I do a secret and besides, everyone in the BAU automatically pegs me as some innocence naïve virgin. You may be great profilers but none of you have ever profiled me correctly."

"Come on, man! You're my friend."

"I know, and you're my first friend too, Morgan. I've never had a real friend, not someone I could count on to watch my back anyway. I didn't know how you would take it."

"What? You think I would make fun of you? Or hate you? Do I come off as homophobic to you? Because I always thought I was an open-minded kind of guy."

"I know, but Morgan…" he huffed and fixed his hair behind his ears nervously. He did not want to have this conversation in the parking lot. But it looked like he had no choice. "I was twelve years old in a Las Vegas Public High School. I received pure hell for being who I was. I didn't catch any breaks until I got into college.'

"There are just some things that I naturally keep to myself and my sexual preference is one of them. I don't want to talk about it in a parking lot. But trust me when I say that Aaron was faithful to Haley right up until the end. He may have stepped over a thin line but we were never…_ that_ close. I'm sorry. I just… I couldn't handle rejection. Not now, not in a place I loved, and not from you."

Morgan looked hurt but he seemed to understand. "You and I are going to talk more later, after we've both had some sleep. I'll take your word on it, because I know you never mean any harm. But don't think you can skip out on me and I admit as confused as I am, I can see the connection. I don't know how and I don't know exactly when. But it is there. I'll give you a break for now. Get out of here, you look like a raccoon."

Spencer laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, okay. See you." He started to walk away when Morgan called back to him.

"Just how old were you?"

Of all the questions, Spencer shook his head, and pretended to ignore his friend as he slipped into the car. Perhaps everything would be alright.

"You ready?" Aaron asked. "Looks like that went well." He was pleased to see Spencer looking happy.

"Better than expected. You don't mind?"

"Not at all, but I too am curious. How old were you?"

Spencer flushed at the question. "I was eighteen," he mumbled slightly embarrassed. "But it doesn't matter. You?"

"I was seventeen."

Spencer stifled a yawn. "Let's go home. I'm tired." He shifted and rested his head against Aaron's shoulder and closed his eyes. "My butt hurts," he whined.

Aaron barked in laughter and Spencer slapped him weakly. "I'll kiss it better."

"Nn… no, that'll make it worse."

"Possibly. I love you," Aaron whispered kissing the top of Spencer's head.

Spencer smiled blissfully. "I love you too."

oOo

A/N: Sorry about the double post in this chapter. It's been fixed. I use Notepad when I'm watching CM and I do a lot of copying and pasting from txt to doc.


	17. Crash and Burn

A/N: I apologize for the odd break in this chapter where there was a note slipped in. I am totally blaming it on document manager. I had it at the very end. I KNOW I did and then it disappeared. =/ Once this story is totally complete, I'm going to go back through and tidy it up. I can't help some of the errors in the document. I do my best but I'm not beta. The beta I did have doesn't do CM fandom and I haven't spoken with her since I quit my old fandom.

_**Crash and Burn**_

_Let me be the one you call, _

_if you jump, I'll break your fall. _

_Lift you up and fly away with you into the night. _

_If you need to fall apart_

_I can mend a broken heart_

_If you need to crash then crash and burn _

_you're not alone. – Savage Garden_

It had been a sudden transaction, moving out of his cottage, and into Aaron's house. Spencer expected it to be harder to let go of his lonely little home but it was too easy. They had Jack and both took turns keeping the baby happy and moving boxes from one place to another. Slowly but surely odds and ends in the house began to disappear and was replaced with a more masculine setting that seemed to suit both Spencer and Aaron's taste.

Aaron had spent one of their days off handcrafting a huge black cedar shelf that would hold most of Spencer's books. It ran along one side of the wall that had once been the place of a fancy curio-cabinet that Aaron never liked.

Spencer liked watching him work with his hands, it was not only sexy but it taught him something new about his lover. He would sit on the floor next to Aaron with Jack in his lap bouncing him and reading the Wizard of Oz.

When some of the smaller cases came up, Aaron worked from his office at home while Spencer went in. He and Morgan were finally back on speaking terms but Garcia was still chasing him around and JJ kept looking at him funny.

It was one evening and Spencer had stopped by his cottage to close it up completely and leave the keys with the landlord. He had one more box to grab, and when he got to his new home, he sat in the driveway staring at it and trying to understand how things moved so fast.

They began so very slowly and now, here he was sitting in Aaron's driveway. He tilted his head and considered everything that had happened over the last six and a half months. A year ago if someone had told Spencer that he would not only be sleeping with his boss but living with him, he would have handed them his card and asked them to make an emergency appointment with him, free of charge for counseling.

He was quickly learning that there was no such thing as impossible.

Spencer let himself into the house and he smiled when he saw Aaron fast asleep on the brand new black leather wrap around couch and on top of his chest was Jack. A hand was holding onto the baby with snug security. It was easily the cutest thing that Spencer had ever seen.

After putting everything up, he took a seat at the end of the couch and laid a book on his lap. His eyes kept falling on the peaceful sight of Aaron and Jack. He was far away from Unit Chief and boss. He flipped open the book and was nearly finished when Jack started to stir and whimper.

Aaron's eyes snapped open instantly. "Mm… hey," he sleepily sat up and pressed a kiss to the top of Jack's head.

"Hey to you too. A bottle?"

"And a change," Aaron said placing a hand on the rather full diaper. "When did you get in?"

"Forty minutes ago, long enough to read this."

Aaron stared at the thick volume registering the fact that it would take him two weeks at best to read something like that.

"I'll get his bottle and you can change him."

"Lucky me."

Spencer grinned and leaned over to kiss Aaron and then pecked Jack on the cheek. When he came back, he handed the bottle over to Aaron and Jack's eyes focused on it and he squealed in delight when he recognized it for what it was. He was all slobbery and strangely enough, Spencer found it endearing.

It was strange how it wasn't long ago that Spencer had been squeamish about certain things. But now, he saw it as natural. Aaron and Jack had become a part of him nearly every sense.

"He knows what he wants," Aaron said adjusting his now clean and well pampered son. He popped the bottle in his mouth and shifted closer to Spencer. "I have to go in tomorrow, finish a few things that I couldn't here at home, and then we have two weeks off."

"That seems impossible," Spencer admitted. "We haven't had two weeks off since the first year I started."

"I know, it's been a long time coming, and I can't wait. Although, I've been home more now than I have ever been in the last five years. I'm beginning to forget what my office looks like."

"It's only been a week."

"I bet it's dusty."

"You do just as much work from home as you do the office. It's only when we all need to be on a case that you truly have to go in."

"I'm remembering what I enjoyed about being off," Aaron said curling an arm around Spencer and pulling him closer. "You and Jack make it pleasant. Oh!" He reached back and snagged a small black booklet and handed it to Spencer. "Jack will be with his mother the first five days of our vacation as I told you, and we have tickets."

Spencer gasped when he opened the booklet to see two first class tickets to Las Vegas.

"I even reserved a hotel. I hope you don't mind."

"First class?"

"I wanted something special for you and me. Maybe it'll give you more courage to see your mother."

Spencer laughed weakly and kissed Aaron deeply. "This is sweet, thank you."

"Besides, I need to make a good impression. I've never been good at meeting moms."

"All depends on whether she's lucid or not. If she is, I think she'll like you. She knows all about you."

"How?"

"I write her, remember? I tell her everything."

"Now I'm scared."

Spencer playfully tapped Aaron on the cheek. "My mother's pretty good about my friends. She's always felt bad that I never had any growing up. I was always too weird."

Jack seeing he was getting no attention reached out and tugged on Spencer's loose tie while babbling loudly and kicking his feet out impatiently.

"Is that right, little man?" Aaron asked his son. "Do you like tugging on Spencer's tie?"

Jack gave them a wide slobbery grin.

Spencer cleared his throat. "His grip just keeps getting stronger. So are his little legs."

Aaron placed Jack down and the infant squealed and beamed at them as he rolled a little on one side, grabbing at his feet, and then attempting to get on his knees and rock back and forth. He was becoming more and more active and he constantly had to have a bib. He was slobbery like a puppy.

"You know," Aaron pulled Spencer closer into his arms. "If it wasn't for you, I would miss all of Jack's firsts."

"Why do you say that?"

"I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be able to watch my son grow."

"It's amazing what a little child can do to a person's life and how he can change everything," Spencer observed.

"It's also amazing what the right person can do," Aaron whispered into the young man's ear.

"Don't give me all the credit. It's all Jack's fault; he has me wrapped around his finger. I mean, Morgan was right. A year ago I was all cranky because he'd sneezed on me or stole a drink of my coffee. But now, because it's you and because it's Jack – I find it normal. I _like_ it."

Aaron smiled and carded his fingers through Spencer's loose strands of hair. "You always amaze me." He lifted the book beside Spencer and eyed it warily. "So, mind telling em what was so interesting about this book that you read all five hundred pages in forty minutes?"

oOo

Spencer knew it had been too good to be true and that escaping his co-workers scrutiny wouldn't last. The mouse was always caught in the claws no matter how brainless the cat was and Garcia was perhaps one of the smartest cats he'd ever known. He was surprised that his evasion had lasted so long because now, he had been accosted by a seemingly innocent JJ and he was suddenly inside of the techie lair with Elle and JJ blocking the only exit and Garcia grinning evilly from her _throne_.

To say that Spencer was scared out of his mind was an understatement.

"Spence, why do you keep avoiding us?" JJ asked and he could see the flash of hurt flitter across her face before it disappeared and turned into curious concern.

"Yeah, doc, why do you keep avoiding us, hmm? Do you think we'll bite?" Garcia purred swiveling around in her chair and playing with a pink feathered pen. "You're cute enough and I would if you wanted."

Spencer eyed the pen with suspicion, a lot of damage could be caused by pens. He remembered reading an article about a man who had been stabbed and killed with one. Actually, he was sure he read several of them. They could be very deadly weapons if used right.

He had no choice but acquiesce to their demands for his own sake. Self-preservation was key and he hoped to God that Aaron would call them soon. He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked away from the women in the room. "What do you want to know?"

"First, _I_ want to know what's going on with you and Hotch," Elle insisted rather bluntly.

"How long has it been going on?" JJ asked. "Why didn't you tell _me_?"

"Yeah, lover boy, why didn't you?" Garcia chimed in causing a budding nerve headache to start at his temples.

"It was not something that the BAU needed to know. For one if Strauss ever got wind of it-"

"You don't trust us?" JJ asked in shock.

"I trust you, but neither of us expect you guys to lie for us. Aa- er Hotch would never want your careers risked because of our relationship."

"Relationship? You're not serious!" Elle exclaimed with much more emotion than expected.

Spencer jiggled his pockets out of habit. "Yes, I am. It's been on-going since his divorce. That's really all you need to know. I really don't want to give details into my personal life, because it's irrelevant."

"Irrelevant? This is the biggest secret in history!" Garcia declared. "You can't just keep it all hushed up! I mean, this is our boss! You and our boss! It's like the _Young and Restless_ only more realistic and definitely juicier."

"Besides, since when did you have a personal life?" Elle snorted. "And since when was Hotch gay?"

"Does gender always make a difference? How about the person?" Spencer shot back a little irritated. "And you wouldn't know anything about my life because you never asked. I may be twenty-four and I may devote most of my time learning new skills that I can put to good use but I do have a life. Aaron isn't actually gay but I am. To him, it's the person that matters."

Elle was taken back and JJ winced. Garcia smiled. "We're not judging you because you're gay nor are we judging Hotch. But we're all family, aren't we?"

"Family doesn't need to know everything," Spencer began sharply, "you all have this convoluted perception of me that isn't exactly accurate. You never ask the proper questions at the right time. Everyone just assumes that I'm naïve and innocent. Let me remind you, I saw puberty kick in around me before I turned ten. When I was twelve I walked in on my English teacher having sexual relations with a freshman. Now, I'm not going into my personal life nor am I going to tell you all the men I've slept with. But you need to get it out of your head that I'm somehow underdeveloped because I'm not."

The silence in the room was deafening and Spencer felt a little vindictive at having set everyone straight.

"Spence, I'm sorry," JJ said ashamed. "I… I never meant to make you feel inadequate."

"Me too," Garcia looked up at him sorrowfully. "If I ever said anything that made you feel so bad, I'm really sorry. I just – I liked the idea of you being so innocent. It brought something nice to the BAU. All this sadness and cold reality. It's nice to see something so different."

Elle was still frowning and she looked very confused and Spencer wondered what her deal was and why she was taking it personally. "Still doesn't answer what's going on with you and Hotch."

"I already told you, we've been together ever since he and Haley divorced. The only thing I'll say about that is we were more aware of each other before they were divorced. We kept our contact light but I would be a liar if I said nothing at all happened. I love Aaron and I love Jack and the feeling is mutual. Are we done here? I'd like to get back to work."

JJ moved from the door and nodded. "Yeah. I'm happy for you, Spence. I'm also happy for Hotch. I mean, I kind of thought he was at fault."

Spencer's eyes narrowed. "Aaron did nothing while he was married to Haley. If what you really want to know is if we slept together while he was married, then no," he said firmly. "He was a gentleman and tried very hard before I ever came along to make his marriage work. If you really want to know. You can ask him yourself if you dare."

JJ shuddered. "No, thank you."

"I think it's kind of cute," Garcia said with a longing sigh. "I'm stuck in here all day so I don't get to see the cuteness but when Morgan mentioned it, I simply had to find out what was going on. I Penelope Garcia need to know everything so I can cover your butts!"

Spencer couldn't help but smile a little. "If you want to ask a question, ask it properly."

"I still can't believe it though," Elle murmured. "It just doesn't seem right."

"And that's why Profiling Profilers is never a good idea," the doctor reminded them. He breathed a sigh of relief when the door opened and Morgan was standing there. He snorted.

"Come on, guys, stop pestering the Kid!" He smirked lazily. "Hotch and Gideon is waiting for us in the conference room, last minute details before we're out of here."

JJ and Garcia seemed a lot happier as they left the room. Spencer was mostly agitated and JJ apologized again for ambushing him. He simply shrugged it off and told her not to worry about it. He liked her too much to stay upset with her.

He was grateful when Aaron handed him a cup of loaded down coffee. "Thanks."

Hotch smiled a little and Gideon had a pleased and very happy expression on his face. It was rare and kind of bewildering. Gideon was always so devoted to his job that seeing him excited about two weeks off was strange.

Garcia looked as if she were seeing stars when she saw them together with clear eyes for the first time. Elle was unusually taciturn until Morgan reminded her of their Jamaican trip.

"Let's get this over with so we can get out of here," Gideon addressed.

"I'll still be here," Garcia chirped. "But I'll have a lot less icky stuff to look at. No one is as productive as you guys."

When the meeting was over, Spencer went off in search of a book he left at his desk.

Morgan was asking Spencer what he was going to do on his weeks off. "Going home," he muttered dryly.

"You don't sound too happy about it."

Spencer didn't respond but the long expression was enough. Aaron appeared at his side and handed him the book. "Our flight leaves in an hour," he said as the boss-mask came off completely and what everyone was saw was a completely different man than they were used too.

"Is everything packed? What about Jack?" Spencer asked.

"He's fine, we saw him off this morning, and he is happily on his way to his grandmother's who will spoil him silly with toys he's never going to play with."

Spencer laughed weakly. "Future walking hazards."

Their fellow agents were watching the interactions with a newfound eye.

"Let's go, it'll be fine. You're not backing out."

"I know!" he exclaimed rushing his hands through his hair nervously. "Let's go!"

"Have fun," Aaron said to his agents. "_And get used to it_."

Morgan chuckled and Elle looked at him. "Are you accepting this?"

"How can I not? They're happy, aren't they?"

oOo

Elle nodded reluctantly. "It was strange."

"So adorable!" Garcia moaned. "Oh, the images in my head."

"Naughty girl," Morgan drawled.

Garcia beamed. "Whoever told you different, baby?"

JJ shook her head. "Well, I'm off. I'm going to relax. See you in two weeks, _hopefully_."

oOo

Aaron smiled affectionately and rested a hand gently on Spencer's shaking knee. "Relax."

Spencer shifted and leaned heavily into Aaron, using him for support. He was beginning to feel jittery and very sick in his stomach. "I'm sorry… I've never sat in first class. It's nice – I'm just kind of scared." He looked at his lover with a caved expression. "What if she hates me? What if she wants to attack me? Or worse, what if she doesn't respond at all?" He tore his gaze away and stared out at the white fluffy clouds.

It was such a pretty view and Spencer usually never got tired of it. But he couldn't concentrate. So many scenarios were racing through his head and each one of them had an outcome that was greater than what he could deal with.

"You're not alone, Spencer. I'm here and with you. Whatever happens, I'm not going anywhere." He caressed Spencer's cheek lovingly with his knuckles. "Besides, you're her son. She gets your letters every day. She's never sent them back and so she obviously reads them and I bet she loves them. I'll even wager my job that she's proud of you."

The knots that had been tied unusually tight slowly unwound and he smiled a little stronger than before. "Thank you." He placed his cheek against Aaron's shoulder and received a warm kiss to the forehead.

"Anything for you."

oOo

**Happy Holidays to everyone who celebrates Christmas and other holidays!**


	18. Glittering Cloud

_**See note at the end for explanation into where I've been.**_

_**Glittering Cloud**_

_Am not always like this_

_It's something I've become_

_A terrible weakness,_

_In my nature in my blood_

_Save me, oh save me, save me from myself._

_Before I hurt somebody else again... – Imogen Heap_

Aaron had thought of everything and Spencer was truly thankful for the man taking charge. His mind had been in chaos ever since they touched down in Las Vegas. His palms were getting sweaty and he kept losing his grip on his bags. Aaron even rented them a nice black sedan and the hotel rented was definitely not one that the FBI would ever pay for.

"As I said, I have to make a good impression for your mother," Aaron said when they were led into the fancy suite. "I hope you don't mind. I thought it would be nice for our first real trip together."

"I love it," Spencer said sincerely walking over to the window. It was still early due to the change in time but Spencer was not yet prepared to go onto the sanitarium.

Aaron chuckled. "I try. I'm not much for high end suites, but I kind of thought we deserved this." He slipped behind Spencer and gathered the man up in his arms. "When I made reservations, I was told that this place offered a very nice view."

"It does. You know, I've been kicked out of half these casinos. I needed some fast cash when I was at Caltech and I made most of my income here. I didn't have any insurance for mom at the time and my father was long gone, so it fell to me to make sure she would be taken care of. There were times when I would come out of the casino with twenty grand in my pockets."

Chuckling, Aaron nuzzled the back of Spencer's neck. "Perhaps we'll have time to play a little. I'd like to watch you. But first we should have an early dinner and take advantage of the time change. I want you to enjoy the night."

Spencer turned in Aaron's arms and kissed him softly. "I will. Just having you here is all I need. We need to change our clothes before we leave the hotel. I don't feel like playing the part of an FBI agent tonight, especially in Las Vegas." He glanced down at his tie with slight disdain. He knew his work wardrobe had always been atrocious but he'd always used them for practical reasons, it made people underestimate him. It also helped him keep his guard up around some of the best Profilers.

"Neither do I, how about a shower together to get things started?"

Spencer grinned. "I think you read my mind."

Spencer wound up wearing the same thing he had worn to the Rossi seminar, his hair had lengthened since then and it was brushing across his chin and attempting to curl up. He swept his fingers through his hair a few times until he was satisfied and waited for Aaron who had decided to dress up for the occasion; a silk dark blue button up and finely black tailored slack.

Spencer could only stare at the man in front of the full length mirror in admiration, the silk shirt did wonders for his back and chest and the trousers should be illegal especially when the shut was tucked in and Spencer had a very clear view of his backside.

Aaron smirked when he caught Spencer staring at him. He buttoned the cuff and snatched up the small handgun. "I'm not leaving my sidearm behind or my badge in case of an emergency."

Aaron placed all their valuables in a safe that he always brought and set the combination to Jack's birth date. He smiled and curled his arm around Spencer's slim waist. "Let's go."

oOo

If it hadn't been for Aaron's whispered words of comfort and encouragement, Spencer would have remained in the parking lot of the Sanitarium. But with renewed confidence, Spencer made his way up the stone steps. There were a few people outside sitting on the lawn and the orderlies were about watching and giving assistance so some of the more lucid patients.

It was a warm day and it was almost always summer in Nevada. The sun was sparkling and Spencer twitched a little. Despite his upbringing he did not like the way the sun beat down on his skin.

They were met inside by a familiar woman who smiled. "I wondered when we would be seeing you, Dr. Reid."

Spencer smiled weakly. "Uh, how is she doing?"

"She has her days. She'll be thrilled to see you. You and your letters are all she talks about, and who is this?"

Spencer's smile strengthened, "This is Aaron Hotchner. We work together and other stuff." He didn't like the idea of introducing Aaron as his boyfriend, because that sounded extremely plebian and Aaron was no boy. But calling him a lover would be too revealing.

Aaron flashed a smile in understanding and staked exactly who he was by wrapping an arm around Spencer's back. "It's nice to meet you, ma'am."

She brightened. "I think I've heard of an Aaron Hotchner. Mrs. Reid often talks about her son's letters like they're stories. She's right over here..."

Spencer clammed up and he was about ready to back out when Aaron's hold tightened. "Spencer." He didn't want to bully his young lover into doing something he didn't want to do. But he knew that Spencer had wanted to see his mother and was too scared.

"Right..." Spencer cleared his throat and pulled out a brown wrapped book. "Just a Marjorie Kemp book. I think it's one of her more minor works." If it hadn't been for Aaron standing beside him, he might have gone off on a tangent of useless facts and information.

The woman smiled and nodded. "I'll leave you to it. If you need me, I'll be right over here."

"Thank you."

When Spencer pointed his mother out, Aaron smiled. "You have your mother's curly hair," he recognized. His fingers were already playing with the ends of Spencer's light curl and he could see that it was helping his youngest agent relax.

"I like to think I look more like her than my father," Spencer admitted.

"You do, I've never seen your father, but I do see the resemblance between you two."

Despite her disheveled bed-head appearance, Aaron could see a once beautiful woman behind age and stress lines. She was writing silently and her eyes were glued to the notebook on her lap. She also had a scatter of books around her and they looked well worn and read.

Aaron saw how Spencer had developed his fascinating mind and capability to read and understand. She probably read to him when he was still an infant and she seemed to have passed that gift on to Spencer because he often read to Jack.

Spencer slowly made his way over, his heart was pounding and he was feeling a little light-headed. He smiled when he saw a Jane Austen book sitting on the arm of the chair. "Mm... mom?"

Diana Reid's head snapped up and her eyes widened. "Spencer!" she gasped and broke out into a wide smile. "Oh, you look so skinny! Don't you ever eat?" She was up and he struggled from weeping when she pressed into him for a hug.

Spencer laughed weakly. "I – I do," he assured. "How are you, mom?" He looked over at Aaron who was smiling encouragingly.

She pulled back and nodded without really answering. It was awkward for a moment before Spencer decided to hand her a book. "Here, she's one your favorites. I remember you reading it to me when I was a child."

"Oh, yes!" Her eyes lit up and taking the book. "She was always a splendid read."

Spencer glanced back at Aaron and cleared his throat. "Uhm, mom, I want to introduce you to someone."

Aaron took that as his cue to enter the scene and he placed on his warmest smile, the one he would use whenever he was around Jack. "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Reid, I'm Aaron Hotchner."

"Diane, please! It's nice to meet the man I've heard so much about. But I always thought you'd be sharper and harsher."

Spencer blushed as Aaron chuckled. "Only on the job, and Spencer is special, so he gets to see this side of me."

Diana's eyes lit up and Spencer's cheeks got brighter in color. "I always knew you'd find someone, Spencer. You just needed to be in the right place at the right time. And he's so dark and handsome."

"_Mom!_" Spencer groused covering his eyes in embarrassment.

Aaron chuckled some more, "Thank you, ma'am. Spencer has told me a lot about you. I can see where he gets his loves for reading from."

"Spencer was always fascinated with reading. He was three-years-old when he picked up his first novel and read all by himself; _20,000 Leagues Under the Sea_ and I was astounded by the fact that he understood what he was reading."

"He astounds us every time he opens his mouth," Aaron teased gazing at Spencer who moaned helplessly at that. "He's always telling us something that no one else in the world could possibly ever know."

As they sat and talked, Spencer took a silent assessment of his mother. He hadn't seen her in so long and he was pleased that Bennington seemed to be taking good care of her. They ought too; Spencer had spent months pouring over every hospital in the state and even the ones out of state. He had personally conducted interviews with the doctors and orderlies and every time someone new was hired he got notified immediately.

She looked good if a little pale but that was normal. Diana Reid was a lot like her son and that was what scared Spencer immensely.

One of the nurses came over with a smile. "Dr. Reid, this was brought in for you." It was around that time when Aaron's phone rang.

Both men looked at each other sharply before Aaron excused himself.

"Who sent you that?" she asked curiously.

"I – I don't know," Spencer admitted unclipping it carefully. His frown deepened when he pulled out a wrought black iron skeleton key. He took the note. 'SAVE HER.' "What the-"

"Aaron!"

Immediately, Aaron was on him and his face was grim. "Spence, what is that?"

"A skeleton key but that's not what's really weird. Look at this." He handed the letter to Aaron.

Aaron sighed heavily and shook his head. "I just got a call from Morgan; Elle has been accused of murder."

Spencer's eyes widened. "What?"

"There was a murder last night at the hotel Elle and Morgan stayed in, apparently the blood led to her room. I'm going to have to fly down…" his phone rang again and he quickly answered. "This is Hotch." His frown turned into the typical harsh work expression and he turned away briefly. "It was delivered with a baseball card? I'm in Las Vegas and Elle is being held in Jamaica. What the hell is going on Gideon?"

Diana was looking from one to the other before focusing on her son. "Are you alright, Spencer? What's wrong? You have that face on; you're worried about something, aren't you? Is it another adventure?"

Spencer winced and looked down at his mom. "I'm not really sure. No one knew I would be here, at least, I didn't think they would know." He turned the key over in his fingers a few times and pondered over the odd little note as if it were about to tell him a secret.

Aaron turned back after the call and sighed. "I have to get to Jamaica and have Elle released. But that's not all; I just got a call from Gideon."

"What'd he say?"

Aaron gently pulled Spencer to the side so that Mrs. Reid couldn't overhear. "Gideon received a baseball card and a box with a head inside of it."

Spencer's eyes widened. "A head?"

Aaron nodded solemnly. "Garcia's computers were hacked, her entire network is offline, and no one has any idea what's going on. We need to get to Jamaica and reroute back to Quantico and find out what's going on. I'll book our flights and cancel the hotel; you say good-bye to your mother. I'm sorry."

Spencer shook his head. "It's not your fault," he insisted. "I'm just thankful that she got to meet you and that she likes you."

"And I like her, a lot." He pressed a kiss to Spencer's forehead.

oOo

The chain of clues and the mysterious video did not end well, especially when Gideon made the mistake of defying the man's rules and having JJ ask for the public's help and it resulted in Elle being shot. To make matters worse, Spencer felt like it was his fault when he realized that the delusion the Unsub had was connected to the letters he sent every day to his mother.

Not only did the truth about his mother wind up passed out to everyone at the BAU but he had to deal with the internal ramifications of Randall Garner and his unstable psychosis. The man had very nearly blown all of them up, and he could remember very briefly how he had been set ablaze and both Aaron and Morgan had come to his aid.

Spencer was only grateful that they found the girl alive and before the house was completely taken over by the flames. In the end that was all that mattered, but the weight of the blame was not lost on Spencer and seeing the worried expression in his lover's face only intensified everything.

"Are you hurt?" Aaron asked frantically. "You were on fire-"

"I'm fine!" Spencer insisted. "Really, I'm okay. There were no burns, maybe a little sensitive but you and Morgan put out the flames in time."

"You don't look okay." Aaron searched his face, hoping to find and understand everything before his personal genius could back out and lie about being fine. Spencer knew how to bottle up feelings and he knew how to cover his tracks well but he was set up for surprised because Spencer looked right at him.

"I feel a little responsible for everything," he confessed quietly. "It's because of me that Garner knew everyone's weaknesses."

"Don't say that. Blaming you is like blaming Gideon for Elle. The only one to blame is the Unsub, no more and no less. In this line of work you have to remember that."

"I – I know, I really do know. It's just a feeling. How is Elle?"

"She'll… make it," Aaron said grimly.

Spencer bit his lip. "She'll make it physically and but mentally?"

"That's a toss up, we'll have to see. Now, I think you should get some rest. Jack's expected to be back tomorrow and we still have a week of vacation left."

It was nice going home and even better being able to lie down in their bed together. Aaron was like a cuddly safety net and Spencer couldn't help but chuckle as he snuggled closer.

"What?" Aaron asked tightening his hold on Spencer.

"You'll kill me."

"I doubt it. You're laughing and that makes me smile."

Spencer snickered some more and sighed lightly. "I was just thinking you're cuddly."

"…" Aaron cocked his head to the side. "Oh really?"

"Mhmm, like a big bear but soft."

"… I don't know whether to be insulted or not." He was smiling though, he couldn't help himself. "And you better not put that in your letters to your mom."

Spencer slipped one of his slim achy legs between Aaron's. "Nope, my own personal and private bear. I think Jack would agree in a few years as well. So, I'll make room to share that bit of information with him."

"I'm doomed."

Spencer was feeling very warm now and his eyes were drooping on their own accord, the events of the evening had transpired so fast. "I love you, Aaron. Thank you for everything."

Aaron pressed a soft kiss to the top of Spencer's head. "Love you too."

oOo

A/N: That was so hard to write and I didn't even do what I initially wanted to do. There were several scenes in the Fisher King I and II I wanted to do but the Flu destroyed all my ideas. I've only just began to feel like myself. I had to go to school with the Flu and I tell you that's not fun and I know it was a bad idea because others are likely to catch what I had but it was the first official week and missing was NOT an option. I don't want to piss teachers off so early on.

I hope you're not too disappointed.

Now, I have been _**searching for a good Hotch/Reid**_ story but I can't find any that doesn't revolve around rape of poor Spence. Can anyone recommend anything? I can't STAND to read rape fics where the main characters are involved.


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